to have called in sick this morning

[N1ghtshade]

Because I didn't feel like commuting to kindergarten, ds who is 4 says she never wants to go back. my laundry needs major attention, house is a mess, my hair is a mess too, nothing decent to wear because.. laundry.

More importantly I don't want my just turned 10 year old DS to come home to an empty house --and watch tv all afternoon

Also in my team, two have left, one starts maternity leave in a week, and the remaining person apart from me has his contract ending next month with no guarantee of renewal--

DH has a well paying job, i earn about half of what he does but mine is contract based and only guaranteed until Jan next year. I had to reapply for my own position to avoid redundancy in April.

We are not on the housing ladder yet, and our goal this year was to save enough for a deposit. ( I'm probably being naive but I think we could save this amount by me staying home on sick leave for the rest of the year) 3 other people men have done this and basically got full pay for half the year until they quit. I've worked at this job for over 6 years now with no scope for promotion or variation of work, and I'd like to work for myself as a web developer, or online marketer.

AIBU to stay home for the rest of the year?
DS has dyslexia and is in the final year of primary school. DD will be starting school next year and I feel like I should be bonding with her before that begins, and DS 2,5 needs potty training which isn't happening in kindergarten setting.

navy
www.theguardian.com/science/brain-flapping/2015/jan/19/blue-monday-most-depressing-day-year
3rd Monday in January is the most depressing day of the year

What's this "blue Monday" thing I've heard about quite a few times this am?

It's a made up thing about the most depressing day of the year. It was started by a travel company to try and drum up business.

you need to sit down and work out how you would manage not working. Lying to a doctor to be signed off sick may not be as easy as you think it is - does your contract say you would be paid whilst you were off too and for how long?

My house is a mess. My washing basket is overflowing , yet here I am, sat at my desk!
You must be joking OP. Get your arse to work, or resign!! A bit of a disgusting attitude tbh!

I have NC but I'm not a regular on MN.
Will go back tomorrow. Maybe this was a subconscious backlash at having to cut my leave short this holiday season because no-one else was in. Not the first time either. I may not be ill with something contagious but I think that I am mentally exhausted and so not much use to anyone at the moment.

I'm will feel better working mornings only and taking on less in general.

I'm studying for an IT degree, have exams coming up next week and feel fairly hopeless about that.
I'm working 40 hours per week, and have my two youngest in nursery - my own guilt is the most negative thing about this.
My 10 year old finishes school at 12.30 and apart from one day learning therapy is then alone at home until 5 or 6 pm.

I get where you're coming from with the sick leave is fraud, but I think I have he right to at least one day to be compassionate to myself .. usually never pull sickies

I am sitting at work with horrific sinusitis, invigilating an exam - my work is so short-staffed that people just can't afford (morally) to take time off sick, so I think YABU from that side of things.

Navy - "blue Monday" is essentially a PR construct. The idea is that this is the unhappiest day of the year - we're still a fortnight from payday, everyone's skint, it's cold, people are on diets/Dry January or whatever, so the media is flooded with "good news" to try and cheer everyone up. Lots of companies will release silly, feel good stories today, often related to cheap short-term cheering mechanisms - eg, chocolate is good for you type stuff.

One day, maybe. But you're not sick.

I'd be amazed at a company who'd pay you sick pay when you're not sick....for 11 months!!

Glad you're listening to all of the comments though.

I don't think you've had harsh responses here, I can't imagine there will be many people who would condone a whole years paid sick leave because you want to stay home, what would happen if we all did that? My organisation are considering stopping paid sick leave because people like you are abusing the system and taking paid leave to stay home and have extra holiday it seems, therefore the rest of us will suffer, its not fair.

You could reduce your hours like you said, quit fully or get more organised with cleaning and looking after your kids. I'm afraid that's life, we all have to make these choices but you can't fake being sick for a whole year. Won't your doctor or employer expect some sort of medical tests to be carried out to find out what would be wrong anyway? I can't imagine they would just take your word for it for a whole year of 'sickness'.

have you not read op?
how can she reduce her hours when all around her are leaving?

make a stand, arrange a meeting. op

What's the normal childcare arrangement for your 10yr old?

I don't blame you for not wanting them to come home to an empty house for 5 and a half hours.

Have you RTFT? The op herself mentions reducing her hours as an option.

This is exactly what is wrong with society right now. A sense of entitlement.
Why exactly do you deserve time off in addition to your annual leave? If you are tired, busy, behind in your housework or studies I suggest you plan your annual leave a little better. It is there to provide you with a paid rest from work.
Perhaps if studying, working and running a household is too much you should put your studies on hold or get someone in to help with the housework.
Take some responsibility for yourself as an adult and stop committing fraud, because that is exactly what you are doing by calling in sick when you aren't.
Instead, you've left a colleague who may not have his contract renewed and someone starting maternity leave to pick up your work and ultimately made them more stressed so you can do your washing, not forgetting of course your employer (who you hope will renew your contract?!) to pay you for not being there. Then of course theres creating an issue around sickness in a workplace, the very reason places have sickness policies is to prevent people like you taking the piss, and invariably they end up punishing people with genuine illnesses
If you are unhappy look for another job, don't call in sick and make everyone your problems everyone elses

You have longer term things you need to make decisions about OP regarding your working hours, childcare and arrangements for your DCs. I can see how in your current state of mind feeling as though everything is on top of you that calling in sick might seem like an option. YANBU to take today as a day to regroup and start to feel on top of things a bit. Maybe start to make a plan?

But regarding the long term, YWBVU to be off sick for any longer because it helps you manage your family commitments or reduce any guilt you may be feeling(?!?). Working hard for 6 years does not entitle you to a year's sick pay. As others have pointed out the system is there for those who are genuinely ill. Not for those who fancy being paid a full-time wage for being a SAHM. Don't be that person.

OP. Like others have said, IMHO YABU, or would be, for taking sick leave when you are not sick. Yes, it's a fund you have paid in for, but it's a fund for those who are genuinely sick. What you were originally proposing was fraud, however you dress it up.

That said, I think you know that. You do sound like your job is really pretty rubbish and stressful, and you have some real concerns. However, taking an extended sickie is not a way to fix them.

If you want to start your own business, or buy your own home, start taking some positive action towards that gaol. To start with, it doesn't even have to be that big. Just do one small thing each day, and build up. And look for another job in the meantime, or accept the arrangement that you have got isn't prefect, but is giving you something in the short term (and make longer term plans).

Can't you do the laundry on a Sunday evening? Arrange for your DS to go to after school club or something? Small fixes, can build into bigger ones, and get you closer to where you want to be.

Taking time off under false pretences and living a lie really isn't the way.

everyone needs to occasional duvet day, a day to recharge their batteries, and not necessarily lying around in the duvet.
just sorting out their life.
op had to cut short her annual leave due to lack of staff.
give her some slack.

and you dont generally get sick leave for One Day

💐 you have a lot going on, it's no wonder you feel like this.

I agree with everyone else about it being really morally corrupt to be on long term sick, if you're not actually sick. As another poster said, it's not 'your' sick fund, it's 'a' sick fund for whoever needs it. Though I'm not sure if you are actually depressed or are just 'low' - you might actually warrant being signed off for a bit.

Where do you live that your DS finishes school so early every day?

Two small ones in nursery & a 10 yo who finishes school so early, I'd definitely be rethinking a job I hated. If at all possible I'd find a way of living on less or working for myself or in the evenings when DH was home with the kids.

Would taking a few days off this week help you pass your exam next week? If so, I'd take a few days off. Sick if necessary. Not ideal, but sometimes if the company won't look after you half decently, you have to look after yourself.

Get lots done this morning, then feet up this afternoon 💐 Well, as much as you can with three kids at home! 😬

Matilda, I'm sorry to hear that, and I do hope you make a full recovery against all expectations, but my post this morning wasn't meant as arrogance or disrespect to anyone.
Some in your position might take the company to court. I'm not suggesting you do this.
I realise that I'm looking for an easy way out when many have no choice, and if it makes any difference I prefer to have a sense of finality when I do leave the job. I will not take the extended sick leave route.

Is it your 10 year old alone for 5 hours?

Blue Monday has been around for years, though maybe not under that name - simply 'the most depressing day of the year'. I hadn't given it a thought. However, I didn't want to get up today, I don't want to go to work (not due in until this afternoon) and I feel really low. Too much to do & no time or inclination to do it. Maybe we'll both feel a little less crap tomorrow 💐

Wow. Have none of you ever had a mental health (duvet day)?
OP you sound overwhelmed. Hopefully taking today off will help you feel better.
Sounds like reducing your hours is a good move. Good luck with it.

Thanks AnnieAnon,

I'm in Germany, an expat but not British, DH is German.
As I hate going to doctors even when I am sick, I will hand this in as a day off from my usual leave entitlement. I will also check in at work from home this afternoon to help ease the pressure on my colleagues. -and my own conscience-

hope you work things out op

OP. Just a suggestion, but maybe make a list of all the things that are niggling or causing you major stress and start finding ways to fix them (like tweaking child care arrangements). Not an instant fix, but sometimes if you can see small improvements, it helps to make you feel more positive and better able to tackle the bigger ones.

Rereading the thread, it certainly does sound like you need to find more fulfilling work, it's just how you go about it.

Hope you find a solution, or better fit, soon.