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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ban DD from bringing drinks and food out of the kitchen

53 replies

Tezacat · 15/01/2017 21:55

DD 13 is downright clumsy, she's always been the same (low end sensory issues I suspect). She doesn't know her own boundaries as far as her personal space goes, she will spin, kick, dance and bang and bumble about with no regard for walls or furniture. She's just not careful, she'll bang down on furniture, stamp up the stairs and place her hands and face on walls, doors, windows etc and as she's now taken to wearing make up I regularly find lipstick and orange hand prints all over the house.
I've just completely lost my rag as for the umpteenth occasion ive gone upstairs to find brown drips all the way though the hall and up the stairs to her bedroom from her coffee she was carrying earlier. This isn't the first time it's happened, she's incapable of carrying a cup without spilling it, she fills it to the brim - same with food - she'll take a biscuit or cake and not use a plate, usually she'll sweep it of the kitchen with food in hand whilst doing some dance kick or twirl with no regard for anything.
I'm so fucking fed up with her at the moment, she's so full on - really she should be out with friends burning off energy but apparently no one goes out any more. Instead she burns off her energy twirling around the house in full disco make up making a sodding mess everywhere she goes. It's the complete disregard for our home I rage at. Everything is old but well looked after and I can't afford new carpets and furniture all the time.
AIBU to force her to stay in the kitchen every time she wants a drink or snack? I've told her this today and apparently I'm treating her like a child...Hmm

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 15/01/2017 21:56

Well then treat her like an adult! Get her to clean up every single time she makes a mess. Grin

alafolie29 · 15/01/2017 22:01

Tell her she's acting like a child so is to be treated like one.

That would drive me insane Angry

LoupGarou · 15/01/2017 22:01

YANBU, I have considered it, but with DH Grin. In the end I just scotch guarded the crap out of all the soft furnishings and sofas and banned him from my study as if my antiques were damaged I might have to murder him Grin. We have hardwood floors throughout the house which makes it easier.

Stilitzvert · 15/01/2017 22:05

We don't allow any food and only water upstairs, so perfectly reasonable

Original poster
Tezacat · 15/01/2017 22:07

Im tempted to get her a lidded baby beaker, I'm so sick of it. Apart from the food and drinks does anyone else have a DD that isn't happy unless doing the splits, breakdancing and seeing how high she can kick her legs in the air? It's like having an adult sized toddler honestly.
I'd be thinking she was hyperactive if she wasn't so calm and well behaved outside the home...

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 15/01/2017 22:10

Turn her bedroom into a disco studio space. Lights etc. say that she can do it up there. Or send her into the garden?!
Travel mug for drinks? My contigo doesn't spill.

Notcontent · 15/01/2017 22:11

My 10 year old is like that, so I feel your pain. She regularly spills drinks, etc.

Original poster
Tezacat · 15/01/2017 22:12

Travel mug. Why didn't I think of that. An upstairs disco would be too much I presume, she's like an elephant just walking around up there!

OP posts:
TeenAndTween · 15/01/2017 22:12

Both my DDs have poor motor skills. (DD1 age 17 has dyspraxia - have you considered that for your DD?) From early on we had rules about food and drink only in dining rooms or kitchen. Due to motor skills problems we have only very recently relaxed these.
So YANBU.

Notcontent · 15/01/2017 22:13

Btw, my dd does have hyperactive tendencies, although she seems to contain them when it matters, such as at school.

reallyanotherone · 15/01/2017 22:14

Send her to gymnastics or cheerleading class?
Burn off some energy and get her out the house.

She sound completely normal by our standards :) both mine still have lidded cups for outside the kitchen, and no food upstairs.

There's a reason i take them to a different activity every night :)

Cuppaand2biscuits · 15/01/2017 22:19

Genuine question, Should 13 year old son be drinking coffee?? Perhaps that's why she so full of energy and twirling around the house?

GinIsIn · 15/01/2017 22:20

Do you make her clean it up? That's a good place to start!

QuestionableMouse · 15/01/2017 22:20

Can you look into dance lessons for her?

Cuppaand2biscuits · 15/01/2017 22:21
  • 13 year olds Auto correct accident!
CannotEvenDeal · 15/01/2017 22:22

That crossed my mind too Cuppa...

CannotEvenDeal · 15/01/2017 22:22

About the coffee, not the gender typo Grin

Original poster
Tezacat · 15/01/2017 22:22

Activity is the key to this I think. I have DS 16 who goes to football on weekends and is a different kid anyway, calm, measured and careful. She's always been full of energy, loud, singing, humming, dancing, shouting we've always known we've had her so to speak.
Neither of the kids want to go anywhere, she doesn't have any outside activities apart from after school drama once a week. Every club she's joined (rainbows, youth club etc) she's left after a few weeks. She won't join any sports clubs, dance, swimming etc - she won't even come out walking without moaning unless it's a trip to the shops to buy makeup or clothes she's not interested. She's like an older teen in many ways but like an overgrown toddler in others.
She's got a nice group of friends but unless they've planned a shopping trip down to the nth degree involving expensive coffee shops and lunch out they don't go out at all. Why don't kids trawl the streets like we used to? At least we were out burning off energy and out from under our mothers feet!

OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 15/01/2017 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Tezacat · 15/01/2017 22:25

Hmm could be the coffee I suppose, although she's all but an adult in size, 5'5 and a clothes size 12. She's always been a big girl, I didn't think coffee would be any worse than cola?

OP posts:
Chelazla · 15/01/2017 22:26

The mess is annoying but you sound so negative! She sounds brilliant fun, but than glued to a screen!

Original poster
Tezacat · 15/01/2017 22:28

ive just told her no food food or drink out of the kitchen at all from now on. I swear she rolled her eyes so far back she only had the whites showing. I could knock her bloody head off at times...

OP posts:
Original poster
Tezacat · 15/01/2017 22:29

I know I sound negative. She is fun, she's bright and funny, I love her so much but she's exhausting. We seem to spend all our time telling her to cool down.

OP posts:
Chelazla · 15/01/2017 22:30

Teza are you ok is it more than the mess?

northernbairn · 15/01/2017 22:31

I'd proceed with either adult or childlike approach- and the choice is her. Childlike- all drinks that leave the kitchen must be in a beaker- lidded, and meals ate in the kitchen supervised, or if she doesn't want to be treated like a child, then she can clean up all mess she makes.

I was an incredibly clumsy child, and much like you described your daughter but when i split my drink for the millionth time, I cleaned it up as I was still aware I had done it and it would have been lazy not to! She knows better than to leave it at 13!

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