Childless friend organising a weekend in paris if you please for her hen night!

[charmkin]

omg
she is doing wedding on a shoe string
but expects me to go on weekend to paris for hen night! With all the organisation that entails and she has NO IDEA.

Can't you just get your mum to have the kids so we can leave early on Fri...

I know, she says, my mum can have them! Oh yes, I'm really going to leave my kids with a complete stranger so I can go to Paris...

Plus if I am goign to spend the best part of £300 on a weekend in paris, shouldnt it be with dh and not a couple of friends plus a6 people i barely know?

and how do i tell her? She won't understand having to leave the kids for a whole weekend takes a lot of sorting out and the fact that I won't enjoy it anyway because i will resent even being there...

I am not sure that childless friend is relevant in all this. I think that if you really wanted to go, you would organise something.

Just say you cant make it that weekend but dont make the kids an excuse just say lack of money, sorry.

If you dont want to go, dont.

If it were me, Id think

Can I afford it? - yes

Is DH capable? - yes

Then I'd just go.

If you don't want to go, don't go and explain why. End of. If she's a good enough friend, she'll understand.

She's the one getting married, it's up to her what type of hen do she has. If she wants to do something like this, she shouldn't just not do it because some of her friends have children and might not be able (or want) to come.

Its her hen night so she should do what she wants but I would explain that though you would love to go, unfortunately you can't afford it or get suitable childcare for that length of time.

It's still a shame but could you have a meal or drinks out another evening to celebrate?

I think its kind of rude to arrange a stag/hen do that is going to be so expensive for everyone.

Yes ok your friend can do what she wants and yes she doesn't understand what its like to have children but surely she understands that some people have limited budgets. For my hen do I organised an ultra cheap weekend in the lake district staying in well dodgy accomodation. I wanted all my friends to be able to come wether, it was for one night or the weekend didn't matter.

Someone I know has a DH who went to a 10 DAY STAG DO to Thailand, the worst thing is it went so well that another mate is getting married and they are doing it again !

Also another hideous thing about hen dos is there always seems to be someone keen to organise a kitty and then get pissed on champagne cocktails at your expense. But I'm just a bitter old hag me.

I know its hard, but she is a friend. Im sure she didn't arrange the weekend thinking, oh must make it as costly as possible.
She proberly want to spend weekend with her friends before she settles down and has her own kids, what wrong with that.
I don't know how old your kids are, but I think adult time is good when you can get it.
If you cant afford it, thats a different story, just tell her the truth.
I wish someone would invite me to paris for the weekend.

Lisa

fuck off you loser

mainly pitying of you :(

She is perfectly entitled to design her wedding, including her hen night, as she wishes.

She does not have to plan specifically around the needs of someone who has small children.

Equally you can simply say that this is not something you can do.

I think you are getting way too angry about this.

It is her wedding after all and she really does not have to put your needs at the top of her list of priorities...

I would be gone in a flash

You don’t have to go. Her hen do and her choice. Maybe she wouldn’t have necessarily chosen what you did for your hen do? But had the sense to realise it was your choice. I don’t think you can see their point of view. So why should they see yours?

I'm so confused as to why people are offering you their mothers to baby sit when these children have a father. Why is it such a huge hassle to leave the children with one of their parents for the weekend?!