To think this is a very weird reaction from

[dontbesillyhenry]

My husband....
We usually book a cheap sun holiday at the end of term which happens to coincide with my birthday. I always book the weekend that is the last one of term as they miss only one day of school and the weather tends to be good. Last year the Friday was my birthday I went to afternoon tea with our daughter for an hour and a half.
When he asked when I'd booked it he replied 'selfish having to book it for your birthday' although it's purely because it's the last weekend of term. However it almost seemed like he was implying I'm indulgent for marking it at all???

He is an actual cunt is my conclusion

Totally baffled by what happened but you're clearly living with someone you have utter contempt for. You know that's not normal or necessary right? Get a divorce and live happy.

Yes, this isn't really at all clear.
But basically I have surmised your H is pissed off that you're making the cheapy week/weekend (whatever it is) in the sun All About YOUR Birthday, instead of seeing that it's the best time to go vis a vis cost etc.
I mean, how Very Dare You want to do something nice for your birthday, shocker!!

So because you went for afternoon tea the day after your birthday, first day of your trip, with your DD and not him because he didn't want to go last year, and this year your birthday is actually on the first day of your trip, he's already getting the hump because he's assuming you're going to do the same thing again.

He's an arse, frankly. I mean, who gets pissed off about something like that? If he'd WANTED to come with you and you'd not let him, yes - that's pissed-off-worthy! But he didn't want to, so he's sulking because you did it anyway.

You've let slip that he doesn't ever like doing what you do - so in all honesty, I wouldn't bother with this. He doesn't like you, you don't like him much (at the moment at least) so call it a day.

So why do YOU think he thinks you're selfish?

I've seen for myself over a couple of recent meant to be happy occasions how miserable and self centred he is. Even kids birthdays he's turned miserable with moaning about this that or the other. He has contempt for everyone in this family it would seem which makes me sad

Has he always been like this or is it a fairly recent development?
Has he been to the GP re. potential depression?
Or, y'know, he could have someone else on the side.

All possibilities if it's a change in behaviour.

He's got significantly worse. I've asked him to speak to the GP umpteen times as her appears depressed yet is adamant he isn't and doesn't need to

My father destroyed many occasions in my childhood behaving like this. He also could switch off his arsey behaviour when other people arrived but had in the mean time made me & my mum unhappy. My sister could also turn it around for people as they are both very much put on a good front people. My mum stayed with him 'for the kids sake' apparently which worked out badly as she eventually left for the other man when I was in my 20s allowing my dad to relinquish any responsibility for the situation. it's left me with a really crap view of relationships and I'm now NC with my dad and sister. So I suppose what I'm saying is get him to sort out his behaviour or leave him.

You should pm me. I could, and might,write a book about a marriage that you describe.

I am now in the process of divorce and six months down the line can hardly believe how badly I've been treated.

Honestly. From what you've said, staying and putting up with that is as big a deal as leaving.