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AIBU?

To think this is a very weird reaction from

34 replies

dontbesillyhenry · 15/01/2017 01:22

My husband....
We usually book a cheap sun holiday at the end of term which happens to coincide with my birthday. I always book the weekend that is the last one of term as they miss only one day of school and the weather tends to be good. Last year the Friday was my birthday I went to afternoon tea with our daughter for an hour and a half.
When he asked when I'd booked it he replied 'selfish having to book it for your birthday' although it's purely because it's the last weekend of term. However it almost seemed like he was implying I'm indulgent for marking it at all???

OP posts:

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ferriswheel · 15/01/2017 20:31

You should pm me. I could, and might,write a book about a marriage that you describe.

I am now in the process of divorce and six months down the line can hardly believe how badly I've been treated.

Honestly. From what you've said, staying and putting up with that is as big a deal as leaving.

OhisHOME · 15/01/2017 17:17

My father destroyed many occasions in my childhood behaving like this. He also could switch off his arsey behaviour when other people arrived but had in the mean time made me & my mum unhappy. My sister could also turn it around for people as they are both very much put on a good front people. My mum stayed with him 'for the kids sake' apparently which worked out badly as she eventually left for the other man when I was in my 20s allowing my dad to relinquish any responsibility for the situation. it's left me with a really crap view of relationships and I'm now NC with my dad and sister. So I suppose what I'm saying is get him to sort out his behaviour or leave him.

dontbesillyhenry · 15/01/2017 15:37

He's got significantly worse. I've asked him to speak to the GP umpteen times as her appears depressed yet is adamant he isn't and doesn't need to

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ThumbWitchesAbroad · 15/01/2017 14:23

Has he always been like this or is it a fairly recent development?
Has he been to the GP re. potential depression?
Or, y'know, he could have someone else on the side.

All possibilities if it's a change in behaviour.

dontbesillyhenry · 15/01/2017 14:08

I've seen for myself over a couple of recent meant to be happy occasions how miserable and self centred he is. Even kids birthdays he's turned miserable with moaning about this that or the other. He has contempt for everyone in this family it would seem which makes me sad

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Scarydinosaurs · 15/01/2017 14:07

So why do YOU think he thinks you're selfish?

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 15/01/2017 13:56

Yes, this isn't really at all clear.
But basically I have surmised your H is pissed off that you're making the cheapy week/weekend (whatever it is) in the sun All About YOUR Birthday, instead of seeing that it's the best time to go vis a vis cost etc.
I mean, how Very Dare You want to do something nice for your birthday, shocker!!

So because you went for afternoon tea the day after your birthday, first day of your trip, with your DD and not him because he didn't want to go last year, and this year your birthday is actually on the first day of your trip, he's already getting the hump because he's assuming you're going to do the same thing again.

He's an arse, frankly. I mean, who gets pissed off about something like that? If he'd WANTED to come with you and you'd not let him, yes - that's pissed-off-worthy! But he didn't want to, so he's sulking because you did it anyway.

You've let slip that he doesn't ever like doing what you do - so in all honesty, I wouldn't bother with this. He doesn't like you, you don't like him much (at the moment at least) so call it a day.

OneWithTheForce · 15/01/2017 13:47

Totally baffled by what happened but you're clearly living with someone you have utter contempt for. You know that's not normal or necessary right? Get a divorce and live happy.

Bluntness100 · 15/01/2017 13:43

He is an actual cunt is my conclusion

dontbesillyhenry · 15/01/2017 13:39

Yellow I have booked a holiday the same weekend as we went last year.
This year my birthday is Saturday, last year it was on the Friday

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MatildaTheCat · 15/01/2017 13:03

You are clearly not feeling the love right now.

Somewhat silly typo.

MatildaTheCat · 15/01/2017 13:02

Let's be honest this is a post about much more than your OP? You clearly are feeling the love very much right now. He does sound a misery and perhaps this has been the last straw.

Tell him in words of one syllable what is upsetting you and don't restrict it to a single comment about your holiday dates,met sounds way more than that.

YellowOfficeBlock · 15/01/2017 12:58

I'm confused!
When did this happen?

dontbesillyhenry · 15/01/2017 12:51

No he doesn't have a problem with them missing a day off school

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QODRestYeMerryGentlemen · 15/01/2017 10:46

I don't really get it. Did you go on holiday?

Scarydinosaurs · 15/01/2017 10:45

I get YOU don't have a problem with missing a day- does HE have a problem with them missing a day?

dontbesillyhenry · 15/01/2017 10:45

He didn't want to go to afternoon tea as he doesn't like it and thinks it's a waste of money. Like everything I like

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Scarydinosaurs · 15/01/2017 10:44

What did he say when you asked "why am I Selfish?" I don't think anyone but him can provide an answer to that.

Katy07 · 15/01/2017 09:58

So the Friday was your birthday, you had afternoon tea with your daughter Saturday, so were you away on holiday when you had the afternoon tea and he was pissed off because he wasn't invited to the tea despite being on holiday with you?
Confused I am

dontbesillyhenry · 15/01/2017 09:46

And we don't go that weekend because it's my birthday but because it's when the kids break up

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dontbesillyhenry · 15/01/2017 09:45

And yes they have the last day off school which I have no problem with doing as their attendance all year is good

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dontbesillyhenry · 15/01/2017 09:43

No no no.
The Friday was my birthday so on the Saturday we had the afternoon tea.
I did question him and he seemed stony faced.
He is an actual cunt is my conclusion

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Spring2016 · 15/01/2017 09:10

Selfish of him, to not book it, and therefore causing you to do it?

Scarydinosaurs · 15/01/2017 09:02

Does he mean selfish to make your daughter miss a day of school?

BalloonSlayer · 15/01/2017 08:21

I read it as you usually go away for your birthday and leave the day before but this year the day before you are having the tea which means you can't go on holiday till a day later?

Or is he saying that it's your birthday so why are you doing something with just your DD instead of the whole family?

Context context context!!!

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