To believe parents shouldn't send their kids to school ill

[sailorcherries]

Before we start, I'm not talking about a cold, cough, sniffles etc. I am talking about actual illnesses and vomiting.

I teach and the amount of children who get sent to school after throwing up that morning or over the night are ridiculous! There is a clear policy which states that your child should not return until 48hrs after the last bout. Yet day after day we have kids turn up and then sent home before lunch time because we a) find out or b) they're ill again.

Today I sent kids home because they got sent in with the bloody chicken pox. Their parents noticed the spots, knew about them, and sent them anyway under the assumption that "you only get it once so it can't be". Surely it can't just be me who would take my child to the doctor instead of school if I noticed a rash like that? They'd been there for a few days apparently.

Not only does it not help your child but it compromises the other children and staff there, some of whom will have immune disorders or may be pregnant etc.

I understand finding childcare can be hard, but actually sending an ill/infected child to school just seems so ridiculous. Aibu to be annoyed and being so annoyed by this? Obviously if spots appear at school or they get sick at school it's a different story but when they know and do nothing, it grinds my gears.

Must say, a letter would cause me to panic

Dh would simply look at it and throw it in the bin with "it's my child! If I say they are too sick for school they are too sick!"

Hell hath no fury if one dares to turn up on our doorstep. I almost feel sorry. Almost

YANBU

Parents who do this are arse holes.

It's also extremely unfair on poorly children.
An adult wouldn't force themselves into work if they had the shits or had been throwing up, why would you make a child?
Just wrong.
I don't give a stuff about the politics around attendance. They go in if thy are well or just have a sniffle, but bugs, massive no.

This really annoys me dd1 has had chicken pox twice, both times kept off school until no longer contagious, both times school moaned about attendance.

On the flip side same DD has a hacking cough, sounds bloody awful BUT she also has runny nose etc, so standard cough and cold. She has had the cough for approx 3wks every day at drop off and pick up her teacher has rolled her eyes saying she needs to go to GP's - we didn't agree, we have been here numerous times before with her unfortunately she just has a lingering cough. Today the teacher sent her home at 9.05. I said to DH right I'll book a GP appointment, managed to get one and was told what we have been told before, it's a cough! No chest infection, not asthma just a cough. DH was apologetic to GP and explained it was the teacher who said to bring her, that we had been avoiding it as we believed it was a cough and cold. GP replied with if I was you I'd be sending her straight back to school!

(Just wanted to say before I'm jumped on, if for a moment we believed it was anything other than a cough or she was poorly in herself (which she hasn't been) we wouldn't have hesitated in taking her to the GP)

I think schools are partly to blame with their constant reprimands to parents about time off for illness. They should make it crystal clear which illnesses merit time off (and how much time), and not harangue parents who have a DC who has vomiting/chicken pox/whatever contagious illness. I think grading schools on attendance is ridiculous - truancy is one thing - but DC being off for illness is another and the schools should not be penalised for that.

Parents that do this are unbelievably selfish and inconsiderate.

They are arseholes of the highest order. They couldn't give a shiny shite about their own child never mind anyone else's. Keep children off School when they are unwell vomiting with a bug. It isn't fucking rocket science.

There are people saying " but I have to go to work"- well, then childcare needs to be found or you need to take a day off.

For those who are SAHM, then there really is no fucking excuse.

YANBU .

I don't teach in an English school, so the system isn't like that here and people still send their kids.

I agree that the English system is ridiculous in penalising schools (and schools then doing the same to parents).

I think a lot of people are completely cowed by the entirely idiotic "computer says no" attendance letter regime.

If you harass parents constantly with threats of educational welfare regardless of how genuine the illness might be, this is what you get.

Do you teach at my DCs school OP? they've had to send a few kids home this week who've been sent in looking decidedly pale and then chundered everywhere come lunchtime. I just feel sorry for the children. The only place most of us want to be when ill is at home feeling sorry for ourselves.

The myth that you only get chicken pox once isn't true in our experience either. DS is nearly 8 and already had it twice. It can make some people really poorly too as recent threads have shown.

My 21 year old friend recently caught chicken pox off her nieces and she was really poorly with it too.

YDNBU.

I don't know the full details of the chicken pox scenario mentioned earlier in this trail, but I do have some sympathy. I took my DS to nursery one morning, did his nappy, dressed him, nothing out of the ordinary. Drove to the nursery which was twenty mins away, dropped him off and went to work over the road. Minutes after arriving at work, the nursery called "he's got chicken pox" . I thought they were talking about another child for a minute. They said he had a few spots on his tummy. I went to collect him. Literally took me 5 mins to get there, in that space of time he was head to toe with spots. So wondering if those parents had no idea chicken pox was there either.

The parents definitely knew. One childs parents thought it was a rash getting worse, the other said it might be and sent them in.

As I said I completely understand why you'd send kids in who had no symptoms as you cannot stop it happening, it's the ones who do know that get me.

I agree with you OP but in the UK a lot of parents really struggle to find alternative childcare and whilst schools are meant to be places of education make no mistake they are also now childcare providers. As a teacher yourself you must know how much pressure is on SMT for 100% attendance and you know how difficult for staff to take time off if either they or DC are ill.
Most parents work to pay the bills and simply can't afford to take an unpaid day off or risk losing their job. There isn't an easy solution but it isn't fair on anybody.

I've had chickenpox twice. DD2 has just got over it, but she never went to the GP as she was just a bit grumpy and itchy. I have better things to do than waste the GP's time on a child that is just under the weather and can be treated by the pharmacist.

We used to get several letters about DDs attendance. (asthma and viral infections). At one of her hospital appointments I told the consultant. They arranged for the asthma nurse to go into the school and have a word. Never got another letter.

Used to get them for DS too but not for attendance. For lateness. He hated the school he was in and they weren't treating / teaching him according to his needs. Told me that if he got five consecutive lates they'd chalk it up as an unauthorised absence and I could be fined £60. I told them they were welcome to take me to court. It'd be lovely to see my old colleagues again and I'm sure they'd be understanding given DSs difficulties. Nothing ever materialised there either.

Moral of the story. Dont feel forced into sending poorly, as in vomity DCs into school because they've sent you an attendance letter. Most are just sent out generically anyway.
Then again. I dont think its just the letters that force people. Some parents just don't give a shit. Once witnessed one parent laughing saying her DD had thrown up that morning but sent her in anyway. Also watched about three teachers have to repeatedly tell a parent, no x was only sick yesterday, we cleaned it and we cannot take x in. Noro is contagious. Please take x home. The DCs and I have both had noro. It's evil and I couldn't even entertain the idea of sitting in a school environment for six hours with it.

socks again the issue was that the parents refused to acknowledge chicken pox and instead 'believed' it was a rash yet never sought to see a gp for a rash slowly covering their childs body.

Obviously if you know what it is then you don't waste time, but you also don't send them to school.

DS is at nursery and I have taken him in if he's been sick the day before and it's clearly nota bug i.e. only threw up once then right as rain. But never if it's obviously a bug.

Bum bum talo, had that with my dd1, told her nursery teachers that she had been off to attend doctors appointment. According to doc lingering cough due to mucus dripping into throat. Advised blowing nose etc passed this info onto teachers. Teachers pulled me up several times over the week about her cough. Went to docs again, all fine aside from cold n cough. Told teacher again. Received a call come pick dd1 up. Went back to docs, had a telling off from doc worked up the nerve to say I believe you but for some reason the school either think I haven't been here or they think your wrong. Doc was extremely cross and muttering about telling trained medicals and if only she could send a letter to school on my behalf. But combing your dd hair and discovering a nit and keeping her home to remedy this is not a reason to miss school?!

Op I posted about this a few weeks ago when a parent at my ds school sent their daughter in after she shit herself at school the previous day. Then she vomited before school started and he took her home. Where are these parents brains. Selfish fuckers. I felt really sorry for the little girl who was probably totally embarrassed from the diarrhoea in class incident.

I agree with you op but when schools give out awards and treats for attendance I can see why some parents do it. My ds's school give a special pudding on the Monday to the class with the best attendance the previous week and as a result kids are given a hard time from their peers for not turning in!
Chase the parents who are keeping their kids off without reason instead of punishing kids who have been sick!

This is my mega bug bare. In December the whole school was wiped out with noroviris. My DD was one of the first to get it and I kept her off for 3 days just to be safe. If other parents done the same it might not have affected the whole school. I think the school were sick of it as they sent a text to parents reminding them of the 48 hour rule.

I sent her in the other day though as it was her birthday and she ate LOADS and threw up spectacularly after going to bed. It was a one off and wasn't caused by a bug just over eating so I sent her in.

I've also heard of schools who have big treats like trips at the end of the year for those with 100% attendance. I bet kids who haven't been off all year aren't going to stay home near the end of the year if they've been sick on the Sunday but feel fine.

So the parents and kids who do the right thing and stay home when they're ill end up being penalised.

Some parents cant win.

Dd has had 4 days off since September. 2 x 48 hour sickness bug rule applied.

Result = I've just had an attendance letter for falling below 95%

So we got a warning for following the bloody rules!

I do keep ds1 off school when he's sick. Problem is he seems to get every bug going and I get the school sending letters home about attendance. The reason his attendance is low is because I'm keeping him at home and following the 48 hour rule.

princessmouldilocks I'm glad it's not just us, it really feels like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. The GP completely agreed with us but could see that we just wanted to be proved righ if that makes sense.

We appreciate the school have a job to do and I can see that it could be a safeguarding issue (i.e. parents refusing to seek medical treatment for a sick child) but we honestly felt the cough didn't warrant a GP appointment.

Do some people really think that nits are a legitimate reason not to send a child to school...?