Zips are wankers

[FishChipsAndBeans]

I'm 45 years old and I can't do up the fuckers. I can use zips if I'm not wearing the item of clothing, but that's not hugely helpful as I tend to want to wear my clothes.

Just had a big stroppy tantrum with my lovely new warm coat that I can't actually zip up.

I'm not being unreasonable. Zips are wankers.

Gil

USB leads. Or rather why it is it goes in one way up on my tablet and the other way up on my phone! Why? I can never remember which is which way up and it inevitably takes me 3 goes each time. Plus USB leads have the lifespan of a mayfly.
I used to run my own dressmaking business. The only thing worse than using an open ended zip is trying to fit one, the contrary little gits. You'd think they'd be the easier ones, but no.
Suffice to say, as many of my dresses as possible had corset backs!

So many things that I agree with on here.
Coathangers are the bane of my life (and kids going by the amount of clothes in the bottom of their wardrobes, lying on the floor of thier room...oh there could be another reason for that..)

Bloody bra wires - Tuesday going around town thought something was irritating me, had a discrete 'fumble' nothing under bra. Turns out 5 mins later as I was driven to distraction the fecking wire was broken! Jagged bits of metal were scratching me. HOW? Had to suffer it till I got home.
Thursday another bra - wire poking out/up in front thankfully had a sweatshirt on or it would have been waving hello to passers by! THink I am giving up on wires.

brilliant post! Yes zips are wankers as are door/cupboard handles and pocket combos! Gets me every time!

Cling film is a wanker.

I have 2 engineering degrees, can't work cling film for fuck.

YES! I was trying on warm coats in a changing room earlier today and completely FAILED to get the zip engaged in 2 out of 3 of them. As you say, OP, it's the fiddly bit at the bottom. I was sure it must be me, but now I feel much better. They are WANKERS of the highest order.

Also - plastic poppers on the bottom of bodysuits.

Whenever I used to visit my Mother I'd find her fridge full of mutilated milk containers, juice cartons etc. When asked what had happened she say 'I couldn't get it open so I stabbed it'

I think it's the new type of coat zips that are the real wankers. They're designed to come undone from the bottom as well as the top, even though I NEVER want them to, and because all the joiny-bits at the bottom move, they are utter wankers to do up.

I was discussing this very issue with someone a couple of hours ago.

The electrical cables on irons are wankers. They never have anywhere to go, so when you put the iron away, you waste time wrapping the cable round the handle only to have it escape. Hoovers are wankers (noisy, ill-tempered, block at the drop of a hat) but at least they have a place for their cables.

Dishwashers are also wankers. They're bone bloody idle, barely do the job for which you purchased them, leave all the really shit burned-on-fat jobs to you, and manage to trash crockery even when it's supposed to dishwasher safe.

Macs you can open those sealed scissor packets with a tin opener.

Tights- just wear a 2nd pair of knickers over your tights, = no hoiky uppy hell. (MN classic tip)

I'm adding super King quilt and duvet cover. The dimensions are slightly off square, so they seem like they are on, but then you get a 3in gap with no quilt in it and it's all bunched up at the top. Wankers.

Also cat food pouches that don't fully year so you get a nice drip of gravy on your hand as the meat doesn't all slide out in a lump (which, I think, is the fucking purpose of the damn pouches??). Meaty wankers.

bear, get yourself a Sharpie and write on the duvet 'end' and 'side'. That way you know where the poppers need to go...

Lumela genius!

It is official... despite what may ever happen in the future, Lumela , due to sheer genius, will never be a wanker.

Zips - bastards, agree - My winter coat has a zip & poppers - if the zip doesn't catch properly on the first attempt then I give up immediately & use just the popper otherwise I waste so much time grappling with it

Duvet covers - poppers are bad but my worst ever mistake with them was buying a set with buttons - so much more bloody annoying than poppers,

Ooh, I've just seen the compliments upthread!
Thanks folks.

And yeah, the buttons are little fuckers. Why don't duvet covers have bloody zips...?

hooks on trousers.
the kind that break your nails and were you have to suck in your belly to close them without pinching your flesh

£2 coins, I swear they are more than twice the size of a £1 coin, what's the point, especially when you need a coin for the trolley.