Lone parent considered cohabiting/in a partnership

[BantyCustards]

I have just been told by a compliance officer that I am not allowed to have my boyfriend stay over at my house - ever - as if I do I will no longer be considered a line parent.

I challenged this asking how on Earth one is supposed to have a relationship and progress that relationship to becoming a partnership if that is the case - how are a couple supposed to know if they're right for each other? How is one supposed to know if their boyfriend is 'safe' without spending time overnight with them as the relationship progresses?

This cannot possibly be true, can it?

When one compares the level of benefit fraud compared to the level of tax fraud I find it to be completely mind boggling.

If that message was in reply to my comment... I wasn't making a comparison between benefit fraud and tax fraud. I was saying that for WTC and CTC claims they are also going through them with a very fine tooth comb. Apparently they have a huge spate of people who pretend to be self employed, hence why they want the business records.

Nothing AT ALL to do with tax evasion, but yes, benefit fraud.

If you don't like the way the system works, figure out a way not to be reliant on it.

And 'they' are not going v through a very fine tooth con when it comes to tax fraud - I can post the expenditure versus estimated fraud £££ if you would like...

Of course you deleted it, MNHQ - the fact that a PO judged me without knowing my circumstances as 'figuring out a way to not be reliant' on the system just highlights exactly how far you are divorced from the system that is stacked against line parents (enigma are overwhelmingly female parents.

I judge you, MNHQ and I am very disappointed in you for deleting a message that tells a judgemental poster to fuck off.

If that's the case it's utterly ridiculous and spiteful. And I think some of the PPs are being really snidey! I think that this govt hates women 😔 and completely agree with MrsTerryPratchett
"I'll bet serious money that this affects women massively more than men. No one gives a shit about single mothers. That's what happens when you vilify sections of society. Makes it easier to make their lives, and those of their children, massively harder" Absolutely!!

Andnowitsseven

I see you talking bollocks all over the shop, are you on a mission to take everyone back to the fifties or just trolling?

OP that is truly ridiculous.

Sorry to derail a bit, but I think women and men should have the choice whether they have sex with someone or not before marriage and no-one else's sexual behaviour should be judged. Telling posters they aren't normal because they didn't have sex before marriage is as awful as those who are judging people because they've had lots of sexual partners.

I grew up in a very Catholic environment and know plenty of people that didn't have sex before marriage and plenty of people that did. my own parents didn't sleep together before they got married and they have been together, blissfully, for 40 years. My best mate didn't have sex with her husband until they married three years ago. She's perfectly normal, modern, and is also very happy.

Who has said hat those who did not have sex before marriage are abnormal?

Realistically, those who took that stance attempted to cast myself as somehow 'abnormal' whilst all I was asking was if it really was a problem to have a boyfriend stay over st my house or at his.

It would be fab if they'd apply as much enthusiasm and detail to parents who evade paying any maintenance.

My adult daughter has her own flat. She visits me (we live 200 miles apart) stays over, cooks for me, might help out with household stuff, minding her younger sister a few times a year (Christmas, summer and the odd weekend) Does this mean I'd fail a compliance test?

...or is just about whether I'm having sex? Because that's the only difference between her and a partner staying over.

h yes, but said enthusiasm for making sure s parent financially provides for their child(ten) would target men - men are not a journalistic scapegoat generally (unless they have a ridiculous amour of children to more than one woman and forge a plot to burn their house down to cast themselves in a sickening narcissistic ploy as a hero).