I am 33 weeks pregnant. I have been seeking help for post-traumatic stress disorder and its effect on my pregnancy since I was 25 weeks pregnant. Everyone from whom I have sought help agrees that I need to be seen before the baby is born. Everyone from whom I have sought help assures me that "someone" should and will be able to help, but nobody can tell me who this "someone" is or where I can find them.
To date, I have tried:
The GP: They can only refer me on. In the past, they were sometimes able to offer short-notice 10 minute appointments to allow me just to talk a bit and in theory still would. Like most GP practices, though, they are currently inundated with patient need, with the result that it can often take hours or days to get through on the phone, and the only appointments available can often be weeks away.
The midwife: She has given me endless extra time and appointments, and has advocated tirelessly on my behalf. She is not trained or licensed or insured to deal with PTSD herself, and so like the GP can only pass me on.
The counselling service attached to the GP: I am on their waiting list, but they cannot see me before the baby is born. From what I have heard locally, they will not have the experience or the expertise to help, but I am willing to try anything.
Health psychology: They used to be able to treat pregnant women with PTSD, but are no longer commissioned or funded to do so. They are not making an exception for me.
The local perinatal mental health service: I do not fit their local criteria. Firstly, they tried to refer me back to health psychology, finding as I did that health psychology will not take me. They are now trying to refer me to a local primary care psychology service which has no specialism or expertise in pregnancy or PTSD, and which has waiting lists of such length that I am unlikely to be able to see anyone before the baby is born. The process even of referral from the perinatal mental health service to primary care psychology will take 7-10 days - which, given that I only have a maximum of 7 weeks left, seems a very long time.
The antenatal ward at the local hospital: Due to medical problems with the pregnancy, I have been admitted several times, and during each admission procedure, I have been asked the routine questions about my mental health and about whether I would like help. However, I found that, by saying that I would like help, the ward could only refer me to health psychology or perinatal mental health, neither of whom will see me. Like the GP and my own community midwife, the hospital midwives have been nothing but kind and supportive - but they are overstretched, and not trained or equipped to deal with PTSD.
The Samaritans (116 123 from UK landlines and mobiles, available 24/7): They are very good, and I cannot recommend them highly enough. But they are not a substitute for professional help, and would never claim to be. And unfortunately, some of their volunteers do sometimes say "I'm sure if you spoke to your GP, he would be able to find you the help you need". This isn't helpful, for all the reasons I have explained.
The local private sector: I am (with the support of my DH and midwife) currently ringing round all local private therapists. So far, all of them have said they either cannot help with my specific difficulties, or that they cannot help within the timescales needed. I am not in London, am not in the SE, and do not drive, so this limits my options a bit too. But yes, I probably will find someone eventually. If I didn't believe that I might, or if I couldn't potentially afford to pay for it, I wouldn't be posting my experiences here on Mumsnet.
And yet, having documented all of this, I realise that I am in a privileged and fortunate position. I have a good support network, the education and literacy to be able to seek and request help, and the money to pay for what the NHS cannot provide. If things are this bad for me, how much worse must they be for women who lack the voice to ask for help and lack the money to pay for it.
So having documented all of this, I am asking the following
- Could we all please end this culture in British society of telling distressed individuals simply to "get help"? To tell someone to "get help" implies that there is help available - and as my story illustrates, this is not necessarily the case, and certainly not necessarily the case at the point at which the individual needs help most.
- Could any readers or posters on here with any political or strategic or media influence please use my story to lobby for better availability, accessibility and funding of mental health support for pregnant women?