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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

putting my 2 1/2 year to bed with no dummy ?

31 replies

cjs76 · 22/02/2007 20:04

Trying to get him to sleep with no dummy for the 1st time - is he still too young should I give in? feel very bad - I gave it to him to start with....

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 22/02/2007 20:15

Do you feel he is old enough to understand what you are trying to do? Getting him on your side would help a lot. Can you use some psychology here and get him to agree to give it up for some reason, rather than making the decision for him? Maybe choosing something as a replacement for the dummy, if he manages to give it up? Is there something he really covets that would make it worth the swop? If you feel he is not old enough to understand these sort of tactics, is it worth waiting a few months until he is more able to understand what's going on?

isaidno · 22/02/2007 20:16

We took the dummy away the first night he was in a big boy's bed - not the cot - and he was fine (surprisingly!)

If he is distressed it is not the right time though.

ScottishThistle · 22/02/2007 20:19

If he's only using it at bedtime I'd say he's maybe a wee bit too young to understand why your taking it away!

Does he have a tantrum over it?

oliveoil · 22/02/2007 20:20

imo you either have to get rid of dummies early (before 12 months) or when they can understand, about the age of your son

does he only have it in the night? dd1 got rid of hers by default (bad cold = she couldn't breath with dummy in ) so we had a few sleepness nights with the cold and decided not to bother with it again. She was about 13 months

BUT she got very attached to a teddy soon after and still has him to this day (now 4), whenever she is insecure or tired etc, he is there

maybe get a teddy to replace the dummy, make a huge thing of it, plan a day at the shops, go on about it, let him pick one etc

OR wait till Easter and say that the Easter Bunny will take it and replace it with an exciting present

Original poster
cjs76 · 22/02/2007 20:21

we came home and he seems to have lost it - I cant find it anywhere!! I have more in the cupboard as I have a 6 month old but thought it would be the ideal time.
He does understand he still have his milk bottle which he is attached it although hardly drinks any and lots of toys - I have told him he can have a treat 2moro he is goes to bed without it! He understands he is nearly 2 and a half and is very bright, speaks very well etc... will probably leave him a bit longer if still moaning give in - its been half an hour now dp not back yet!

OP posts:
oliveoil · 22/02/2007 20:23

my friend dipped her dummies in vinegar, dried them and then said they tasted bad as they were meant for younger children and a present was miraculously found under the pillow one morning

it's all in the stories you make up imo, to get them to accept it

FrannyandZooey · 22/02/2007 20:23

Oh if he understands what you are on about, and you really have lost it (and he knows you have), and he isn't really upset, I would probably go for it

Original poster
cjs76 · 22/02/2007 20:28

He thinks we have lost them but is upset bot it and keep asking for it think I will give it another 10 mins

OP posts:
staceym11 · 22/02/2007 20:37

my dd was 2 years 3 month and we gave it up. that was 3 weeks ago, we'r now dummy free.

the dummy fairy came and took them all away in my house (we had a dummy hunt the day before and put them in a special pot) then a present was left. then we did sticker rewards and after 7 she got another toy, kept doing stickers until she stopped asking for them, and as i say now 3 weeks on we'r dummy free and even the stickers stopped last week. persevere, it'l be worth it!

Original poster
cjs76 · 22/02/2007 20:38

he is asleep without it - do I go on strong 2moro and go and buy a present now it has gone?

OP posts:
staceym11 · 22/02/2007 20:41

give him a little something tomorrow (maybe a toy thats been left at the bottom of the toy box and hes forgotten it) and then tell him if he goes the whole weekend (ie till daddy goes back to work monday) without it then he will get another present! do this for a while but make the intervals longer iykwim, eventually they forget all about it!

generally when they stop asking for the dummy the forget about the rewards!

Original poster
cjs76 · 22/02/2007 20:44

ok going to try the toy in the morn and then the rewards etc... Thanks for all the tips x
Going to try alot earlier with ds2

OP posts:
Original poster
cjs76 · 23/02/2007 19:36

ok went on strong all day although was asked for serveral times - bought him a nice present and kept reminding him why he has it - used stickers and distracted him with other things is now asleep for the 2nd night, nearly gave in but hoping we can carry on like this - baby still got his but seems to understand that he is a baby and that is ok

OP posts:
staceym11 · 23/02/2007 20:10

thats the way i explained it, babies need them big girls/boys dont!

glad you stuck to it, if you give in now it wil only make it harder when you do finally do it!

Original poster
cjs76 · 23/02/2007 20:21

staceym11 - thanks for your input was really worried but he seems to be ok with it now, he told his nana he didnt have it anymore and was really pleased with himself x

OP posts:
Bozza · 23/02/2007 20:28

cjs76 I think you are doing really well. Hope he enjoyed his present.

staceym11 · 23/02/2007 20:39

thats fine, still fresh in my mind as less than a month but she seems to have done well, hopefully your little boy will too! good luck!

Lilliput · 23/02/2007 20:58

We ditched the dummies on Monday, ds turned 2 last week. Have a look at my thread to see how easy it was here

Original poster
cjs76 · 23/02/2007 21:37

Thanks for that I am almost inspired to take away from ds2 6 months as well but he has just started teething will do by a year tho x

OP posts:
Lilliput · 24/02/2007 17:55

How's things been cjs? My ds woke at 5.30am and took quite a lot of persuasion that it was not time to get up, in the past I would have just shoved the dummy back in and left him to it.

Original poster
cjs76 · 24/02/2007 18:28

ok most of the time asked for it quite a bit but just distracted him and reminded why he had that lovely toy!!
No nap yesterday as wanted him to be extra tired and he didnt moan too much at bedtime, ive been up since 530am with both of them today - no getting them back to sleep, took them in the car so he had an hour nap today will see how it goes tonite leaving it to DP need a bit of a break DS1 is a bit tearful tonite also hoping he will get up in morn. Thanks for asking x
so did your's go back to sleep? how did you manage it?

OP posts:
Lilliput · 24/02/2007 20:17

He kept on saying he wanted to get up, he'd obviously been cryng quite a while before I woke up because he was really sobbing. I gave him a drink of water, he calmed down a little then said he wanted some medicine, so I gave him a tiny bit of calpol and he lay back down and I left the room. I feel a bit bad for doing that.

Original poster
cjs76 · 24/02/2007 22:07

bless him! my ds will not stay in his bed at that time and im always so worried he will wake ds2 i just let him come in our bed but they were both awake this morn so no hope

OP posts:
Aero · 24/02/2007 22:19

Having successfully ditched the dummy with ds1 and dd at around 2.5 yrs, ds2 was a whole different story. We did the whole Father Xmas thing and all the dummies were gone, and presents replaced them, but two weeks into the new year, ds2 was still crying/waking in the night and asking for them. We got to saturation point when we were due to go out one night and leave MIL babysitting all three of them. I felt I couldn't leave her with this problem, so I 'found' one dummy Santa had forgotten to take. He settled again in no time and I guess he just wasn't ready to part with it altogether yet. He turned three in January and still needs it at night, but there's no way he'll be getting it back during the day again. I feel that just like the toilet training (another story), he'll be ready when the time is right (after months of worrying he'd never get it, he did it over night when he was ready) and I don't want to stress either him or ourselves more than we need to at this stage. I guess I'm saying that what works for one, doesn't necessarily work for all, so if he can do without it fantastic, go with it, but if not, don't beat yourself up as a parent for not bring able to get him off it iyswim.

Original poster
cjs76 · 26/02/2007 16:52

ok are doing pretty well so far, bought the present doing the stickers etc.... but feel I am giving into him a bit too much as still feel bad for having taken it away akthough I know its for his benefit longer term - he still asks for it now and then but it is getting less and less any thoughts on siving in too much?

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