Why oh why did Gwynnie uncouple from Chris Martin?

[ProserpinaColada]

I still don't understand!

[PickAChew]

I suspect it might have been mutual, but she strikes me as the bigger oddnut of the two.

[FairyHoneydragonTwinkleScrotum]

Don't these types get with their muses?

So it's the cycle of the relationship that affects production?

She loves me ....yay/song/royalties

She's committed to me forever ....yay/song/royalties

She's given me babies....yay/song/royalties

Ooooh our lives have changed bit sad about it...yay/song /royalties

Tofu and wheatgrass gloop? Earth mother hipster nurture? ....Yay/song/royalties

JESUS CHRIST ON A BIKE. SHES STEAMING HER VAG IN THE ORANGERY.WHAT THE FUCK?! .....conscious uncouple/find new muse

[GilMartin]

There is only much self righteousness that should ever be under one roof. They exceed it.

Saved spoiling another couple though.

I wonder if his conversation with the kids went like this 'okay kids, I've got some good news and bad news. Bad.news is I'm consciously uncoupling from your mother. Good new is that it's pie, chips, gravy and a fruit shoot for tea.'

[RubbishMantra]

Because he's Chris Lentil Martin? And probably has really stinky farts. Which could all be forgiven, if he wasn't Chris Martin so tedious.

[RubbishMantra]

*... now if Paltrow had married Thom Yorke and divorced him that WBU.

[Bambambini]

Never really rated him and bought the smug, hipster, boring image . Then recently heard him speaking on radio and he was funny, charming and mocked himself. I was very pleasantly surprised.

[GilMartin]

Never really rated him and bought the smug, hipster, boring image . Then recently heard him speaking on radio and he was funny, charming and mocked himself. I was very pleasantly surprised.

Doesn't alter the fact that his music stinks worse than an old man's knob cheese.

[RubbishMantra]

*....and also his song "It Was All Yellow" makes me think of urine.

So, many reasons to leave the self righteous dullard really.

[RubbishMantra]

*...I forgot about the ridiculous knitted hats, those extra long beanies, that look like one's wearing a sock on the head.

In fact, wtf was Paltrow even thinking?

[UnderbeneathsiesTheMistletoe]

I think they would have bored each other to death... ''tis a pity she's a bore" as they say.

He used to be an asexual choirboy and a bit hung up on CofE rhetoric. Wasn't he going to be a vicar or something? So dreadfully moist.

She is an totally vacuous goody one shoe, without much going for her (not even a pair). Brain lovely and clean though, not a thought knocking around, cluttering it up.

They made a perfect 2D couple, and I do feel sad they unhitched as now they can bore more people with their blandness. I'd say their uncoupling was the most conscious they'd been the entire time they were together.

Sad really, in the end, all they could think of getting were incy wincy monogram tattoos as the grand homage to their endless lurve.
Souvenirs indeed.

[Glastokitty]

I am actually aghast and incredulous that anyone finds Chris Martin attractive! He is such a big long steak of piss as they say where I'm from. And he would totally cry and thank you after sex! shudders

[GilMartin]

So, many reasons to leave the self righteous dullard really.

Agghhhh.

Dullard doesn't mean a boring and uninteresting person. A dullard is a slow witted simpleton.

So Chris Martin comes across as dull (and self righteous and po-faced and a crap lyricist), he certainly isn't a dullard.

[LandLock]

How can you look at him and not think pillock?

The long sleeved tshirt under the short sleeved tshirt, the 'undone' funky trainers, the bracelets.... cringe, cringe and triple cringe. 😜😜😜

[cx5221]

I think they were arguing and Gwynnie tried to see things from Chris' point of view but she couldn't fit her head up his arse hole too

[PolkadotsAndMoonbeams]

I like this thread (and when they broke up actually) because it reminded me of .

"Consciously uncoupling" is definitely something you do to railway carriages... applying it to a relationship is wanky in the extreme.

[MoreProseccoNow]

I saw him on the TV coverage at Glastonbury & wanted to ravage him.

Gwyneth Paltrow seems self-obsessed, self-righteous, dull & so far up her own arse she can't see daylight.

[RubbishMantra]

Soz Missus

[Choccywoccyhooha]

Oh they're as hateful as eachother. But his thing for scribbling on his hand with a felt tip as some kind of "statement" would push anyone, even Paltrow over the edge. No kne wants to be married to a teenager.

[EatSpamAmandaLamb]

I wonder if he went to the fridge to get some lentil salad and it was off and then he went back later to try the quinoa and chia seed pudding and it was all yellow too?

[LouiseBrooks]

As an aside, how many girls are there in Hollywood called Jennifer?

I was just thinking ...

Gwyneth/Brad Pitt then Brad/Jennifer Aniston
Gwyneth/Ben Affleck then Ben/Jennifer Lopez (how long ago was that!) and then Ben/Jennifer Garner
Gwyneth/ Chris Martin then Chris/Jennifer Lawrence

I've seen Lawrence on Graham Norton, she was hilarious. I cannot imagine why she was interested in Martin but I'd have said he and Gwyneth were two sides of the same coin.

[Mynestisfullofempty]

OP I don't understand why you are assuming it was her decision to end the marriage. Is it inconceivable to you that it was him who wanted out?

[KimmySchmidtsFakeXmasSmile]

I thought he left her. Because of BF. Who I thought she was now engaged to.
I will say this. He has always had my respect for the business nous of sharing all royalties with band members equally. No resentment then of the main songwriter, band sticks together, charidee tax break but 10% of all record proceeds get donated? Plus apart from one time when it was in his unconscious and rectified later, has always been good at giving credit where credit's with samples used.
Plus he learnt how to sing the scientist backwards to make the video.
As for the music, I think the following still sound good:
Lost/Talk/Clocks and Don't Panic are beautiful.
And Cold play came up twice below, which I quite liked, as it's not cool to admit to liking them.
www.theguardian.com/music/2016/dec/29/life-goes-on-try-dancing-our-writers-favourite-music-moments-of-2016

[TheDowagerCuntess]

MoonShaped - you are nailing it on this thread.

I couldn't have sex with a man who does yoga shudders

Right?

[KitKats28]

Because he sweats like a pig and she got fed up of trying to get the stains out of his t-shirts with eco washing powder.

[cocopopsrock]

They probably bored each other to the brink of death and realised they needed to uncouple if the wanted to live any longer.
And the smugness. Let's not forget about the smugness.