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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be upset over friends attitude to job news

62 replies

lalalandxx · 12/01/2017 20:54

I fear I am BU but this has thrown me a little.

A couple of days ago I got a new job at an agency for a rather competitive industry after a lengthy hard interview and vetting process. When I told my friends they were all wonderfully supportive as I have been out of work for a couple of months and really wanted this job. One of my friends (I say friend, they are more a friend of a friend whom I have clashed with a little before) asked straight away what the agency was as he wanted a job there too and started to be quite aggressive and argument when I said he was being a bit grabby as I had only just found out that afternoon I got the job. I left it at that and said I would talk him through it another time as we were on a night out and not the place for the discussion.

Next day I found he had applied and he had been offered a similar position in the same work place and then started gloating that "I wasn't as special as I thought I was" and that he "deserved this more" than me as he had wanted it for longer.

So I guess i'm asking AIBU to be a little miffed over his attitude of it all?

OP posts:
atheistmantis · 12/01/2017 21:28

Is the job at a day nursery?

Bluntness100 · 12/01/2017 21:29

His attitude is was upset me the most as instead of just going "well done lala" his response was "Oh cool whats the agency I should think if you can get in I can"

Imknackeredzzz · 12/01/2017 21:29

Sorry OP you sound like a pain in the arse! He asked a bloody question - just tell him what the agency was/is. I would be annoyed too and want to rain on your parade if you called me 'grabby' for that.

And frankly I wouldn't be celebrating an achievement when everyone who applies gets accepted!!!

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 12/01/2017 21:31

Why were you "celebrating your achievement" when everyone who applies gets a role?? (mindboggling!)

^ this

And a ridiculous way to recruit

airforsharon · 12/01/2017 21:35

The way you describe it in your update sounds awful tbh - so you never know from one week to the next if you'll have work or not? What are these 'roles'? I hope it pays well (please don't tell me it's commission only work too....)

Caboodle · 12/01/2017 21:36

I think OP is getting a hard time here. I'm not pretending to understand this recruitment process but the AIBU isn't really about that. I think OP would just have liked a small 'well done' (which is surely what friends would say) not a 'if you can do it then I can easily' which is the impression I get of OP's friend iyswim.
Anyway....congrats on the job OP!

airforsharon · 12/01/2017 21:37

Sorry for the air of gloom, but it's just reminding me of a job I had (briefly) in my early 20s - sounded wonderful but was a right royal piss take on their part and I made no money at all.

AyeAmarok · 12/01/2017 21:40

I hope it's not a zero hours contract? It sounds a bit exploitative from what you have said so far.

steff13 · 12/01/2017 21:40

I'm still not sure I get it. If he's one to get argumentative, then surely the better course of action would be to say, "I went through XYZ Agency, good luck," and left it at that. He seems like he's just an acquaintance, anyways.

Original poster
lalalandxx · 12/01/2017 21:40

No not everybody gets a role, if they like your application you will be offered an interview with a particular role in mind. You can easily not pass the interview process and not get a role.

But thanks for putting me straight. I am one who takes things to heart a bit too much so some more perspective has been great! Thanks Mumset people x

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 12/01/2017 21:41

Caboodle , you can still get a well done and help others.

The thread makes no sense at all, on one side it's an achievement to be celebrated, a lengthy interview and vetting process and on the other you can apply in a day and get it and everyone does, you just need an interview after you've got it and it's then a fight weekly to have work.

Weird.

steff13 · 12/01/2017 21:41

anyway

Bluesrunthegame · 12/01/2017 21:42

I think I see where the OP is coming from, he has accused her of thinking she is special and has also said that he deserves a job more than she does as he has wanted it for longer. She has got a job after a tough recruitment and this guy is hassling her for agency details when he must know he has a job with the same agency because he announces it the next day. I can see why she might be a bit miffed, he seems to be playing some sort of game.

AmeliaJack · 12/01/2017 21:43

The OP said she had been out of work for a while, why shouldn't she celebrate getting a job.

I presume the issue with this man is all about "tone". There's a difference between "that sounds fantastic, I'd love to work there" and
"If you can get I hired I could".

Never mind him OP. I'd try to hit the ground running in the new job and leave him in your dust but I may be a little bit competitive

Original poster
lalalandxx · 12/01/2017 21:46

@Bluesrunthegame Yes thats it. I know the way the job is got is silly and yes it would have been easier to have sorted it out there and then. I didn't say much on the process as i didn't want it becoming a thread about how I got a job really lol

OP posts:
MadMags · 12/01/2017 21:49

I don't think it sounds like he was hassling though.

OP: I got X job.

Him: Oh great. Who with as I am looking for something similar.

OP won't tell because he's grabby?? for asking. And she wanted to celebrate...it's all a bit immature.

Original poster
lalalandxx · 12/01/2017 21:50

Yeah I have helped a few of my friends get work where I was last positioned as it is hard to get into. And I offered to talk to him about it another day where i could explain it better.

His attitude just upset me so i was wondering if I was BU to be upset at his comments or just to brush it off and to put my big girl pants on.

OP posts:
RandomDent · 12/01/2017 21:55

@lalalandxx apologies I thought you already had a job. I would be a little miffed but unfortunately it's big girl pants time. Smile

woowoowoo · 12/01/2017 21:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Caboodle · 12/01/2017 21:59

OP I still think YANBU, you said you would help but I agree a night out wasn't the place. And really what is wrong with hoping for congratulations at your achievement?
My Mum calls your friend's behaviour 'peeing on your strawberries'....not friendly at all.

FannyUmbongo · 12/01/2017 22:03

You don't have to pay a fee to join this agency, do you?

pieceofpurplesky · 12/01/2017 22:07

My head hurts from trying to work out what actually happened!

MontePulciana · 12/01/2017 22:24

It has to be a TV role yes? If it is you need the attitude to get anywhere

Bluntness100 · 12/01/2017 22:26

Oh that makes sense, is it to be a tv extra?

Floggingmolly · 12/01/2017 22:29

You offered to explain it better another day... But it was a very simple process, and he managed to get a job (because, you know; everybody who applies gets in) in a couple of hours without your patronage Hmm
The whole thing sounds nuts.

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