Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Travel time aibu?

37 replies

Foxysoxy01 · 12/01/2017 20:07

A very simple aibu!

Wibu to expect people to travel 40 mins (18 miles) from a church wedding service to a reception venue?

OP posts:
PlayOnWurtz · 12/01/2017 20:08

Yanbu if it's family or close friend

SarahOoo · 12/01/2017 20:09

It's not unreasonable but it's not great fun either. You also lose time during your wedding day so I wouldn't recommend it. However if circumstances are what they are then it can't be helped.

JassyRadlett · 12/01/2017 20:10

How are they going to get from place a to place b?

altiara · 12/01/2017 20:10

Yes.

LIZS · 12/01/2017 20:10

Seems a long way. Is it rural or urban? We once had to go from a church into a city centre, on a Saturday. The journey took a while and then there were photos and drinks before the meal, by which time we were fed up and starving!

HermioneJeanGranger · 12/01/2017 20:10

I think it's a bit far, really.

Original poster
Foxysoxy01 · 12/01/2017 20:11

Well it's family and close friends but some people have a long journey so may have to stay over etc.

OP posts:
junebirthdaygirl · 12/01/2017 20:11

It's probably the limit of the distance l would like travelling.. Obviously l would do the distance if l was invited but would be happier if it was no longer than 40 mins.
Round here the usual is 30 to 40 mins

Crabbitstick · 12/01/2017 20:11

Did this for a wedding. It was fine. Wedding party organised a coach and we all took a travel bottle and had a sing song.

SparklyLeprechaun · 12/01/2017 20:13

A bit unreasonable. If they have to drive they won't be able to have a drink. Is there decent public transport at least? Not that that's ideal really.

GloGirl · 12/01/2017 20:13

Is that a conservative 40 minutes? Like it's a 20 minute drive but in Saturday traffic it might take 40 or is it a 40 minute on Google and therefore probably more like an hours drive?

If it's a long way people tend to stop off and get a sandwich on the way and dawdle. People might also check in when they arrive if it's a hotel so your drinks reception if you have one will be very long and not much atmosphere as people come in dribs and drabs. But if you're doing your professional pics you might not mind!

Original poster
Foxysoxy01 · 12/01/2017 20:14

Yeah it doesn't sound ideal I know Sad

It's difficult because there is a church with significance and a reception again with significance but both are 40 mins from each other.
Wouldn't be able to do mini buses or anything as would need somewhere to leave cars and would mean people had to go at the same time etc.

It's rural for a couple of miles then decent roads.

Thanks for the answers!

OP posts:
morningafterglow · 12/01/2017 20:16

Yeah, honestly you are a little bit unless you are providing transport. Not much fun and wastes a lot of your day and time. It would make me think twice about a wedding unless it was close friend or family.

Bluntness100 · 12/01/2017 20:16

Will you lay on coaches etc? It's a bit of a journey.

Bambooboo · 12/01/2017 20:17

I've done it, several years ago. Was a 35/40 min journey from city outskirts to a more rural reception. It wasn't fun. Tbh it takes a lot away from fun and general merriment of the day.
Even worse I'm going to one in the summer with a 1hr 15min journey. Suburban church where family have all been married/christened, reception at a hotel in the countryside. Going to be a total faff.

Original poster
Foxysoxy01 · 12/01/2017 20:18

It's about 35 mins so saying 40 just in case.

I don't want to completely out myself but it's for a sort of activity then onto the actual hotel/pub place after the wedding itself.
The hotel obviously has rooms if anyone wanted.

OP posts:
girlelephant · 12/01/2017 20:20

I've had that journey but always when a coach was provided from the church to the venue. Then after the reception there was a further coach from the venue to a location that would allow public transport.

We drove back to the Church the next day to collect our car (as did many others

Bluntness100 · 12/01/2017 20:20

Then just ask if anyone needs transport and lay on mini buses to transport them.

Original poster
Foxysoxy01 · 12/01/2017 20:20

Yeah I think it's too far really.

I can't see how logistically we could put on coaches as it would mean having a public car park somewhere picking people up taking them to church then 40 mins to reception then 40 mins back to cars at end of evening and maybe a coach for next morning as well if people staying in hotel?

OP posts:
BackforGood · 12/01/2017 20:21

If it must be, then it must be, but it makes for an expensive day if people are wanting a drink later and not wanting to drive home. It's also a long way if people don't have a car / can't drive. It's also a long way to ask a relations / friend to kindly 'drop them off' if they don't have a car with them.

Is there the option of a small bus or minibus from the Church to the Reception ?
Only you know how many people won't be willing or able to drive.

We had a longer trip than that only this Summer, but there were special reasons for the venue of the Reception and the particular Church, so people understood. If it's just because you fancy a particular garden view or something, then I'd say it's a bit inconsiderate, but if there is no venue available closer, then that's what it must be.
You will lose time in the day though, waiting for someone who has taken a wrong turn, or gone on a diversion etc.

Bailey101 · 12/01/2017 20:21

Could you arrange for people to park and meet at the hotel and then have a coach to the ceremony and back again? That way it's not too much driving or faffing around between the two (assuming the hotel is nearer to where people live)

happypoobum · 12/01/2017 20:22

I was already thinking it would put me off...then you dropped in that there was an "activity"..............

SheldonCRules · 12/01/2017 20:22

If you're providing transport yes, if not it's a lot to ask and unless a very close relative then I'd likely decline as it's a long day without driving in between.

GloGirl · 12/01/2017 20:22

Just realised I did it as a groom I knew got married in local Church then onwards a good 30 mins to venue.

I would do it for my wedding but thered have to be a really good reason for it and I'd try and make it as easy as poss -coach on from hotel to wedding then back to hotel again maybe.

Original poster
Foxysoxy01 · 12/01/2017 20:27

I'm going to have to out myself a bit more to explain I think.

Half the family/friends from far away half from area.
About a 5 hour drive for one half of family to actually get to this area. So some may stay? Some will travel then stay and some will travel sharing driving.

Say the church is in a village up a small rural road for about 2 miles then 16 miles away on decent main-ish road an activity, say a boat trip then onto a venue in walking distance from boat trip/activity.
Venue has a few rooms and car park.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread