Mainstream or special school- experiences please

[Lazymazy1]

I would describe my ds as having mild to moderate learning difficulties. (School is saying moderate - severe) global developmental delay, no diagnosis.
Special school around here is ofsted reg terrible ( I've visited and very chaotic and wasn't favourable).
Anyway, my initial thoughts were to keep ds in mainstream (has FT 121) just for better chance in later life with jobs and less stigma, however, speaking with another parent who says it's like trying to fit square peg in round hole. Child would be unhappy.
Prepared to move away to get a better special school for him.
What are your experiences ?

At school he had a poo accident he sat in it for an hour apparently and not alerted staff, at home he's never done that, if he needs help after a poo with his bum, he tries to clean himself up, if he needs help he asks me. Seems like he retreats in himself at school.

Your poor ds, an hour? Not sure if there is any excuse for this.

Maybe it's the same school! I tried to teach phonics eg sssssss,
They said not to but to just concentrate on sounds in environment (leaves rustling etc).4/5 months later he knew all his sounds and could write his name!

Every time I think he's making massive progress, the sch still says it's not enough,bursts my bubble 😞

Keep up with the good fight x

Oh lazy your ds sounds like mine, just as I think he's making progress, the school rain on my parade, what does that do to their little confidence! Their self esteem, if they are made to think they can't do it, they won't, its a self fulfilling profecy. If the current teaching styles or not working for that child, adapt them, make the curriculum engaging and interesting. This I don't think they do in mainstream schools, teachers are limited to what they can do. My friends dh is training to be a teacher, and has a secondment at a primary school, he tried to make the science lessons engaging, but was told he had to stick with the standard lesson plan!

Just so wrong isent it!

How old is your ds? Mine is just 5 next week! Ds has a dev delay, is obviously developing at a different rate to his peers, but it does not mean he won't catch up! Even as adults, some are very clever and go to Oxbridge, some don't and do the career or job they want to do, not wrong, just different paths.

Btw at college I was assessed at 19 by the Educational psychologist they brought in, and I had a Maths ability of a 9 year old. I have successfully done a BA (hons) Psychology, and Msc Psychology, with stats modules, so there you go.

Yes I have a few tears at his annual meeting everytime as they specify how he's not meeting his targets. He read tonight , cvc words- he can do it !

He's 6 in June, still in reception as repeated the year.

Rang today about a special school - a good one (on paper) 200 miles away ,and they have space 😊

Do you have a diagnosis? Hardest thing is trying to second guess his future as I do think know whether he will catch up.

Fab work on your psychology quals 😊 gives me and others no doubt, hope xx

• as I don't know whether he will catch up

No, Paeditrician has said that he is significantly developmentally delayed. If he gets an EHCP, we will be looking at a school with a unit for children with learning difficulties. Sounds like he is doing really well, the expectations of children so young is awful, the pressure that is put on them in school, is enough to put them off learning, even those without any issues, have had enough by the time they are 16, and want to leave or go to college.

Thanks Lazy, he might catch up later on, when hes in his teens or adulthood, the brain matures at different rates. Funny how ds is very independent and is very capable, but finds academics hard.

Can I also tell you that when I was 9 my primary school would not let me go on a residential trip as they could not cope with my immature behaviour, I was 9 going on 5/6, and I am now living independently, managing my own finances, held down jobs before having dc, and got my degrees, so you never know what the future holds.

Rang SS today in new area, ds is too mild to go there, I feel too many needs to do well long term in mainstream.

I feel like he doesn't truly belong anywhere 😔really dramatic I know.
Hopefully they will catch up at some stage, meanwhile , I will aim to make the right decision.

My ds has been advised to be 18 months behind. He got an EHCP straight from the off at school.
Why have they delayed your ds EHCP?

Hi I am so sorry to hear that, how about a school with a unit for children with moderate learning difficulties. My son has only just stRted school in September, so they are evidence gathering, visited the paed today, they will await his report before sending off for the EHCP. Ds is about 1.5 years behind his peers with leRning the academics, though when I see him with his peers he looks fine and enjoys playing with them. Yesterday he a prawn sandwich by himself, which I videoed for the paed, and he was saying the letter sounds and trying to write them , which I also videoed. Apart from academics, he is fine at school and other practicle aspects of learning. Can dress himself, toilet, get himself simple snacks, and likes playing with his peers.

Makes Lego cars and stuff without help, and has spontaneous soeech when he feels comfortable. He is making progress academically just not the rate they woukd want. Paed has said he has learning difficulties, with A bit of ADHD and some Autistic traits.

Having the 1:1 really has made all the different for my ds. He really wouldn't have made much progress at all, so it's really positive your ds has made such progress all by himself 😊 my ds doesn't really have the understanding which hinders him.
Good luck with the EHCP... I just think it makes a fantastic difference

I've been given a list of ms schools who are very inclusive , but I'm going to keep an eye out for Ms with a unit attached x

That is great Lazy I hope that you find the right school for your son