to ask how many of you charge your 18 yo to live at home?

[Mousees]

DH and I can't agree.

This issue hasn't yet come up, but all three DC know that as soon as they've left FT education and are working or receiving benefits, they will have to pay board. Not yet sure on the amount/%age. I can't see the problem with it.

Dd is at college and has a part time job. We don't charge rent but she pays for her own phone, clothes, social life and the running costs and insurance for her motorbike. If she had a full time job I'd expect her to contribute to the mortgage and council tax. They need to learn about financial responsibility and how adult life involves paying for things that aren't fun.

If they're working full time and earning a reasonable wage, why shouldn't they pay their way ? I've never had 100% of my earnings to spend on me; come to think of it, I don't know anyone from my generation who did. Why on earth would you want your offspring to live under the illusion that 'life' is free ? Check out what the going rate for a house share in your area would be and adjust accordingly.

I do wonder if the amount of debt/bankruptcy/loan sharking is down to the fact that working teens and twenty somethings have no idea about money because their parents make it too easy for them.

I was shocked when talking to my friend about this last week. Her ds ( 19 years) earns £18k and she doesn't charge him a penny in board. I guess it's up to her though.

I doubt all debt and bankruptcy stems from children not paying board. Likely a result of the culture we have whee adults believe it's ok to not work, make choices they can't afford and want want want.

It's perfectly possible to learn how to manage financially as an adult without paying board whilst still in your parents home.

My logic for not charging board would be so they could save money. And we don't need it (now, could change obviously.) it just seems a bit stingy to me to charge them money for the sake of it.

No if in education. If they worked I would expect them to save for own place and not charge them. I can afford to support them financially and would be delighted if they stayed under my roof forever.

While my dcs are in full time education they will have their home provided by me, whether that ends at 18 or 21 after uni is up to them (dd1 is definitely applying for uni, the only question is which ones, dd2 is too young to know yet). If they want to live at home once uni is over and they are working they will have to pay a fair share of rent/bills/food. It wouldn't be free of they lived elsewhere, and I wouldn't be paying for it for them either, so I won't feel bad about it.

It's perfectly possible to learn how to manage financially as an adult without paying board whilst still in your parents home.

Of course it is, but I think it is perfectly reasonable to assume that any adult, in paid employment, makes a financial contribution to the household in which he/she is living.

I had a full time job in care when I was 18. I paid £200pm to my mum in board (turned out she wasn't even paying the rent but that's another story) Dh moved in and paid her 100. She wanted us to stay when I was pregnant. My board was supposed to be calculated according to what I was earning. I went onto smp and still had to pay the same amount. Was hard. I would never charge my children to live with me. They will always be welcome in their family home.

When DD turns 18 (and if living at home and working FT), she will be expected to pay. Allowances will be made if in FT education. I paid £10 a week at 16 in 1981(out of my £32 weekly wage). Always did, the amount increased as I earned more. Never begrudged it. I'm a great believer in "adult" children paying their way. I know things have changed (as in they need to save for deposits etc), but that shouldn't mean (in my opinion) they pay nothing.

My friend when she lived at home had a good set up where she paid money every month while working full time and got it all back to help with a deposit when she moved out. It also helps prepare you for managing money in real life.

DM charged me 250 a month for B&B 20 years ago, claiming it was 'expenses only'. I was trying to save for a deposit and she put paid to that. Works out about 95 quid a week now.

After eight months I moved into a rented flat in a better area which, including bills, worked out at just 28 quid more a week. Bargain, I never went back.

If you need the money to keep a roof over your heads and they have an income that will enable them to contribute, yes it's fair to ask (not tell) them to contribute.

If you don't need the money or they don't have an income, yes you are completely unreasonable in expecting them to pay. They are your child for goodness sake, not a lodger! You decided to have a child, you have to support them until they are able to demonstrate that they are willing and able to support themselves.

Charging your child rent "because they ought to pay me something" is utter bullshit. A child is not a financial investment! They will leave home when they are ready and able, when they are mature enough they will probably offer to pay some rent. Until then, try to look at them without seeing £££ symbols!

No because I don't need it. They do buy the odd thing or offer the occasional bit of help around the house.

I would never charge my children to live with me.

Weird isn't it how people are so ready to charge their children to live in their own home yet don't see the irony that many people don't actually pay to live in their home either as somebody else picks up the costs. Using that theory, only households where all the adults work and financially pay charge their children board yet somehow I doubt it.

Those saying not whilst they are students ... you do realise as a mature student I've never had nor never likely to have that much disposable income in my life

I had a full time retail job at 18 after dropping out of collage. I paid my parents £200 a month and was happy to contribute. I was earning money, using washing powder, shampoo, eating food etc etc that my parents bought, so why wouldn't I contribute when I had lots of disposable income.
I'll do the same for my kids. Once they are earning a ft wage, they can contribute.

Brummie my dcs won't get the full loan as I will be expected to contribute. They won't have a lot of disposable income, unless they also have a part time job. If they live at home then I will provide a roof over their heads, if they move to uni then I will give them enough money to top them up to the full loan amount either by paying the rent or by providing weekly grocery money. If they were getting the full loan and living at home I would expect them to at least contribute to food.

Those of you saying you'd never charge your children, when does that stop? My brother is nearly 40 and still living at home, never having moved out. Should our parents still be funding him entirely? He's had a reasonable job for nearly 20 years now, so he's not exactly a child, and my parents are both now retired so he's earning more than either of them. Would you just continue paying for him forever? Some adult children never decide on their own to offer to pay, or to move out, it has to be forced.

Ah I see. Mine will get the full amount, if they stay at home they will be contributing (and it'll be saved but they won't know it), because they will have more money than an 18 year old should have to just blow

My working 19yr old pays me £60 a month. She's on min wage. The agreement is that if she saves half her wages each month for a deposit then she can just pay the £60. If she didn't want to save, then I'd charge her more. If we were better off I'd still charge her a bit but save it for her. I don't think it's at all healthy to get used to frittering away all your wages.

Assuming that I didn't need the money myself once they were working full time I'd probably insist they paid some rent which I'd save up for a deposit for them in the future or invest into driving lessons or something. The only exception would be if they were older or more mature and were very carefully saving as much as possible themselves. Even on a fairly low wage if you're paying no bills, rent or food you'd have a pretty enormous amount of disposable income.

My DB moved in with my parents after uni, never paid a penny in rent, ate breakfast and dinner there (and sometimes made himself lunch to take in too) so he basically got used to having a huge disposable income. He never budgets, never saves and still lives with my mum and acts like a teenager now he's 30. I'm pretty cautious of avoiding that situation.

I don't have an 18 year old but I imagine it depends hugely on their situation. I had pretty massive MH issues at 18, so lived at home as too unwell to go to uni. I'm not exactly sure how I'd have paid rent etc, as I don't think I'd have been able to claim benefits for that.

Plus it depends on your situation. My DPs are pretty well off, and by the time I was 18 they had no debts, no mortgage, and were both high earners (six figure salaries back in the 1990s) plus investment income etc. On the other hand, a close friend of mine moved back in with her DPs and it was a massive strain on their family budget as they were living hand to mouth already, and the additional electricity, food etc was a real strain.

MsAwesomeDragon I said I wouldn't charge my children. The reason being after my mum asked us to stay for a bit she retired. Me (part time worker but on maternity leave), Dh (full time work plus 12 hours overtime per week), 2dc live with her now. Still here 8 years later because we pay rent, gas, electric, TV license, food, drink and I'm constantly borrowing her money that I never see again. We are finally just about ready to pay a deposit to private rent because we have very limited spare money. I'll expect my children to buy their own toiletries/pay own phone bills when they are in full time work (a long long time off) but I can't charge them to live with me because I know how hard it has been for us to finally break free.