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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think your child doesn't need a snack in a 30-minute toddler class?

413 replies

Mummyreindeerlegz · 12/01/2017 12:10

Sorry for the long title.

Why is it some parents give their one year old snacks during really short classes (or at all during classes!)? A one year old wandering around with a soggy rice cake, dropping bits is grim. Wait half an hour or give them a snack before you come.

Please tell me why people think this is ok? Fully prepared to be told I am being unreasonable.

OP posts:
longdiling · 12/01/2017 14:08

I have to say, I'm not bothered about snacks in themselves. My kids and mindees have a small mid morning and mid afternoon snack. If you're in a group setting you need to be considerate of others, that's my issue. It's not just about what is convenient for you, it's about what works for others in the group. If my mindees arrive without breakfast just as we're leaving for the school run then I either go home to feed them and go to playgroup late or I sit them in the pram and offer them food as soon as we arrive. There's really no need for any child to be walking round with food, smearing it from one end of a group to the other. There is no food on earth a toddler can't make a mess with, including rice cakes!

longdiling · 12/01/2017 14:09

Bibble - it's a choking hazard. When kids/babies choke it's pretty much silent. You can't supervise them properly in the car, you might not notice her choking until it's too late.

MLGs · 12/01/2017 14:10

They don't need a snack in 30 mins obviously, but it might be that parents on occasions are rushing from one thing to another and the kid hasn't eaten for a while.

There are kids that are always eating crisps in a 45 minute class that DS goes to, which is very impractical as it's a running around type activity.

It doesn't bother me though.

The Mum who does it always brings her toddler DS with younger DS in tow. I always kind of feel like she's done well to get them both there at all.

RortyCrankle · 12/01/2017 14:10

Snacks have been around since toddlers have been toddlers

Not true - as a child we ate three meals a day - can never remember eating snacks - my mother definitely didn't provide snacks when she picked us up from school. There was rationing from the end of the war in the early years of my childhood but even after that ended we didn't get given snacks except for the occasional ice cream etc.

I wonder why some parents are surprised that their children are obese when they are stuffing food into them every half an hour.

Earlgreywithmilk · 12/01/2017 14:12

The only reason I think it's unreasonable would be for the mess it creates for the poor sod who has to clean up afterwards. Soggy bloody rice cakes squished into the floor, there's norpthing worse!

LaContessaDiPlump · 12/01/2017 14:13

At that age I gave my kids snacks to shut them up. It was that or leave the class. Since I'd probably paid for the class, my preferred option was to stay.

I certainly wasn't alone in doling out snacks and so thought nothing of it....

TheFairyCaravan · 12/01/2017 14:14

Snacks have been around since toddlers have been toddlers

My children are 20 & 22 and it wasn't the thing when they were little to have snacks when they were toddlers. When we went to toddler groups they got a drink and a biscuit or a piece of fruit, it wasn't something that we all did at set times, every day.

I can't see why a child, without medical reasons, can't get through a 30 minute class without eating a snack. If they really have to then they should sit down and not move until they have finished.

I'm a firm believer that this snacking culture we've adopted is partly to blame for the obesity crisis in this country. We aren't Guinea pigs who need to graze all day. It's ok to be hungry for a bit before meals.

Silvercatowner · 12/01/2017 14:15

lunch was 'snap'. In fact it wasn't even lunch, it was dinner.

And you say I'm being pedantic..... lol!

HalfwayToFifty · 12/01/2017 14:16

I used to attend a group that provided snack. This was 1.30pm, not long after lunch. My son has b/fast 7.30, lunch at 12, dinner at 5.30/6pmish. From lunch until dinner is quite a long time so he will have an apple/orange mid afternoon. Preschool he has lunch 11.30 so quite early. The 2 days he goes I allow a freddo from the shop on the way home. I hate groups so I never go with Dd. The reason I hate it is because I feel like I will be judged no matter what I do. It appears I may be right.

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 12/01/2017 14:16

Judging other people's parenting on the basis of a snap shot is one of the things I hate about this place.

TheresABluebirdOnMyShoulder · 12/01/2017 14:16

This thread just adds to the constant feeling that a lot of parents have that every step we take is being judged by another parent in the room. What a shame that some of us feel that we have to pick each other apart. A toddler eating a rice cake has spawned an entire 5 page thread and the mother has been accused of being entitled, being disorganised, and even showing off (?). So much for supporting each other. I find that I'm much more inclined to judge those who are overly critical of others' parenting than I am to judge someone who gives their toddler a snack in a baby class.

OllyBJolly · 12/01/2017 14:17

My DCs are in their 20s and this need to snack didn't exist when they were toddlers. Snacks were a treat when visitors came around or if we had to delay lunch or dinner for any reason. Certainly never had snacks in my family as a child. I think this need to eat every hour is a new thing- and not very sensible.

We have to get away from this idea that it's bad to be hungry. One of the reasons we have obese children is that they don't ever get to recognise "hungry" - they are fed constantly so food becomes a reward or a distraction.

HalfwayToFifty · 12/01/2017 14:19

I'd just like to add that my child would be sat down to eat if had a snack at a class and I would clean up after me. I hate food mess. Give me poo, sick, wee, but slobbery food mess I hate even from my own/my child's mouth so I definatly dislike other people's food mess.

Bibblewanda · 12/01/2017 14:22

long I sit next to my ds in the car the whole time as I don't drive so it's always my DH in the front :)

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 12/01/2017 14:22

Being judged by the other mums is one of the reasons I stopped going to baby group. No matter how well I planned it you could guarantee my DS (only 7 months now so still a baby) would want an epic feed followed by a long nap the second we got there. Last time I went he started crying to be fed and one of the other women said " told you it'd be less than 5 minutes" in a jokey manner to the rest of the group and they all laughed. I never went back because I just felt like they were talking about me behind my back and judging me.

OverTheGardenGate · 12/01/2017 14:23

they are fed constantly so food becomes a reward or a distraction

And then they're not hungry for a proper meal. And so on and so on.

Bibblewanda · 12/01/2017 14:23

This place is obsessed with judging other people's food, it's ridiculous.

OverTheGardenGate · 12/01/2017 14:27

Formerly

That was mean of them - are you sure you didn't overthink it?
I don't know anyone who would think that about a 7 month old baby.

That's a necessary feed, not a snack. Flowers

OverTheGardenGate · 12/01/2017 14:28

This place is obsessed with judging other people's food, it's ridiculous

It's a thread about snacking.

TheresABluebirdOnMyShoulder · 12/01/2017 14:31

Over exactly! One person was judgy enough about it to start the thread and a bunch of others piled in to add their own judgy comments into the mix.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 12/01/2017 14:32

I agree, life's too short to worry about inappropriately eating rice cakes.

I get more annoyed with adults bringing a full hour long picnic snack to the cinema and rustling, slurping and leaving the mess behind than a toddler eating a dry piece of polystyrene, sorry rice cake.

Bibblewanda · 12/01/2017 14:32

over yes it is, which proves my point Confused

Gileswithachainsaw · 12/01/2017 14:33

Yanbu.

People can't seem to manage a ten minute bus journey these days without shoving snacks in the kids hand.

Between bottles of milk and snacks and sweets I swear toddlers feed more than newborns Hmm

And yy to never being able to make the link between the company start supply of food and milk and the fact the kids don't eat their breakfast/lunch/dinner.

I've sat and watched a friend or two spend ages fending off hunger by raiding fridge and cupboards fir snacks rather than just getting up and making some dinner.

How hard is it to make a cheese toasties and some salad ffs. Gotta be quicker and not to mention cheaper to do that than buy and have the kids eat all these snack items...

cantkeepawayforever · 12/01/2017 14:34

Interesting thread in combination with another one I've been on (about the Eatwell plate) basically talking about what to eat to 'avoid getting hungry and then eating calorific snacks in between meals and thus gaining weigh or remaining overweight'.

I eat a meal, I get gradually hungrier, I am genuinely very hungry for the next meal, I eat it until I am adequately fed, cycle repeats. So I - and my children, who eat pretty much what I do as they are now teenagers - eat 3x per day plus an afternoon tea when they get home from school (as both do a lot of sports, often in that post team pre supper slot) and are really hungry for each of those meals.

When the children were smaller, the only difference was that they had an elevenses snack as well, which once they started school morphed into mid-morning fruit and then was phased out in key stage 2.

It seems to me that we now see hunger - any degree of hunger - as a "bad thing", as something to be instantly 'solved' by giving a snack, and that leads both to the behaviour described in this thread and to a tendency to overeat and gain weight. Yes, a toddler who has completely 'run out of fuel' can be a nightmare, and DS in particular had to have both his main meals and snacks at pretty much set times to avoid this, but there is a difference between that and having to have a continuous supply of food such that the child never even begins to feel hunger or to have an appetite for a main meal.

Gileswithachainsaw · 12/01/2017 14:34

Oh and yes if it's a must snacks should be eaten sat down in one spot. Very rude and disrespectful to make a mess in someone else's house or in a public place by letting them wander round dropping bits and touching things