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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think your child doesn't need a snack in a 30-minute toddler class?

413 replies

Mummyreindeerlegz · 12/01/2017 12:10

Sorry for the long title.

Why is it some parents give their one year old snacks during really short classes (or at all during classes!)? A one year old wandering around with a soggy rice cake, dropping bits is grim. Wait half an hour or give them a snack before you come.

Please tell me why people think this is ok? Fully prepared to be told I am being unreasonable.

OP posts:
seafoodeatit · 12/01/2017 13:44

YANBU on the mess front, if you're going to feed your child in a class/indoor environment especially, then really you should be picking up their mess as they go along. I rarely used to take snacks to groups because I tended to only go to one in a day and fed dc just before leaving. Some of the mums did the pity-the-women-who-brought-no-snacks, in particular onewoman would be like mrs doyle, she'd bring a long a packet of biscuits and would slowly get more and more irritable as you declined her offer Confused . 'would he like a biscuit? go on let him have one, he really looks like wants one, whats wrong with my biscuits?' Confused

Gottagetmoving · 12/01/2017 13:44

No,..A child doesn't need a snack in a 30 minute activity or class.
Feed them before class or after.
Medical issues aside, this is just pandering. Kids will have meltdowns precisely because their parents indulge their demands.
Only a tiny baby needs to be fed on demand..not a toddler.

Gottagetmoving · 12/01/2017 13:45

Also, there is nothing wrong with a child being upset because it can't have what it wants.

itsgoodtobehome · 12/01/2017 13:47

I don't get this whole thing with constant snacks either. My DS4 very rarely snacks, and if he does, it's at home. I meet some of my mum friends at the park or whatever sometimes and they come armed with enough food to feed an army. We're probably only going to be there for an hour or so. If an outing isn't over a mealtime, then why the need for extra food?

Obviously where there are health issues, that's a different matter, but most young children should be able to survive an outing or class without eating.

HairsprayBabe · 12/01/2017 13:49

YANBU - feed your child before, don't rely on snacks to bolster shabby parenting.

Silvercatowner · 12/01/2017 13:49

I don't think that's true. Snacking wasn't a thing when I was a child,
nor when I took my dcs to playgroup. We'd sing and play clapping games and the like, but eating was never a part of it. We might have a drink and a bit of banana when we got home though, or maybe before, so we didn't get hungry while we were out.

Weird..... I'm old and we had 'snacks' when I was little. Not the constant grazing that goes on now, but certainly snacks were a 'thing'. The word has its origins in the 17th century so presumably predates your childhood??

Doglikeafox · 12/01/2017 13:49

Gottage, That is a ridiculous comment. I often feed my mindees during classes and it is nothing to do with 'indulging their demands' or giving them what they want. It is about feeding them at a time convenient for me, which may just happen to be during a class.

Buster5187 · 12/01/2017 13:49

Southern "Also the parents waiting with snacks ready - sandwiches, crisps or whatever. They only ate 3 hours ago FFS hmm
Anyway, rant over!"

Completely agree with this. I don't take snacks afterschool for school pickup (the days I do pickup), on a rare occasion I might take a little something. However a friend of mine takes chocolate bars daily, and now gives my son one if I am at pickup due to feeling sorry for him not having a snack!

Back to the original OP though, I do think it wouldn't be 'as bad' if the children would sit down with their snacks if they are needed. As someone else mentioned that would probably put them off needing that snack as they'd rather be playing and could eat after the class.

Peach9876 · 12/01/2017 13:52

I used to work at a private nursery and the kids (3 months to 5) would arrive from 7.30am onwards. They had set meal times. I can't remember the exact meal times but it was along the lines of breakfast at 8.30, dinner at 12.30, and high tea at 3.30. Nursery closed at 6. We have to make sure parents understood that high tea was a small snack of half a sandwich and some fruit as many didn't (and still didn't after numerous explanation) feed their child again. And that was about 5 years ago.
So they all coped fine... Personally I think for a 30 minute music class food should be banned. I understand that some children NEED food more often, but they can't wait 30 minutes? I get they can't eat in the car whilst you are driving, but get there 5 minutes early and give them the much needed 'rice cake' and then wipe them down in the car (sat next to them) before the class or even after. Is there day that busy that they don't have 5 minutes to stop?
As someone else said a baby that needs a feed of milk is a different, unless we're talking a crawling around with a bottle of milk, which would be the same IMO, as toddlers with rice cakes.

Squiff85 · 12/01/2017 13:52

Entitled, OTT parenting in my opinion. YANBU

HairsprayBabe · 12/01/2017 13:53

I am practicing Catholic and what seriously irritates me is snacks in Church!!! It is 50 mins, unless your child is a babe in arms pack it in they do not need a constant stream of chocolate buttons.

When they get to 4 and have to go to church with school they won't be bribed with chocolate buttons by the teacher so why set that standard. They can colour quietly, play with quiet toys or if they cry be taken outside for 5 mins. NOT given food to keep them quiet!!!

OhhBetty · 12/01/2017 13:54

It doesn't make anyone a better or worse parent though if they give snacks or not. Each child is different and has different needs and appetites. Some days as a parent you just do what you can to get through the day!

Trainspotting1984 · 12/01/2017 13:54

Many nurseries do offer 3 meals and 2 snacks, and convention now is for small children to have 3 meals and a snack or two. Who is to say that's wrong? We don't know do we? There is no hard and fast answer

Pigflewpast · 12/01/2017 13:55

If I was the group leader this would drive me insane. If people take their child to a music group I'd expect it to be for them to join in, not eat. Obviously at that age there'll be times it goes wrong, when a child might sit at the side and eat if really no option, but walking round eating and using instruments shouldn't be allowed. Cleaning them between classes must be fun.
I think I'd have a quiet word with the leader, explaining your child has severe allergies and I bet they'd be very released to have a reason to ask parents not to let their children eat other than at the side.
At a toddler group etc it's obviously different but at a "class" I think it's reasonable to say no.

Gottagetmoving · 12/01/2017 13:57

Gottage, That is a ridiculous comment. I often feed my mindees during classes and it is nothing to do with 'indulging their demands' or giving them what they want. It is about feeding them at a time convenient for me, which may just happen to be during a class

I was talking about giving snacks in a short period during a class. I have no idea what your 'mindees' are? How long the classes are or what they are. If your children don't ask for food in a class they don't want or need it - so why give it?

Hedgehog80 · 12/01/2017 13:57

My dd2 needed near constant snacks aged 3 due to diabetes and even now aged 7, on an insulin pump she has numerous snacks in class during the day .
It may not be obvious if a child has a medical condition and needs frequent snacks

Maryann1975 · 12/01/2017 13:59

There is a mother the music group I go to and I'd say every other week she is following her ds around trying to get him to have a bite of banana or something. It's a half an hour class with a snack (apple, banana Andrew biscuit) at the end. Apparently if he doesn't have breakfast he is a nightmare, but he is always fine behaviour wise and not in the least bit bothered about being given this banana. At the end, he sits happily with the other children and has a snack with them. His mother has just got it into her head that he can not go without food for a short time and it is so frustrating.
All the talk of obesity in children and we wonder why. Children are fine if they are not fed constantly. I don't mean ignoring real hunger, but if they had their previous meal, they should be able to last half an hour at a group to be fed (where presumably they are well distracted?)

Gottagetmoving · 12/01/2017 14:01

God I hate this attitude of its ok to do whatever gets you through the day or to keep the kids quiet or to stop tantrums.. It is precisely because people do that, that they have problems with their kids in the first place and it is never ending.
Tantrums and meltdowns continue because you reward them.
.

brasty · 12/01/2017 14:02

Totally agree OP. And snacks were far rarer in the past. They still are in some countries like France. And yes, I do think it is making more children fat., Children have to learn to tolerate a bit of hunger, to avoid getting fat.

Catsize · 12/01/2017 14:03

I agree OP.

But then I never understood the giving snacks thing either. Kids seem to be permanently grazing now.

And why are they so body-clocked to know exactly when meals and snacks are imminent?

Yokohamajojo · 12/01/2017 14:04

I so remember those horrible rice cakes with flavouring, was it Heinz apple or something? They were so sticky it was unbelievable! YANBU, if it's a 30 minute music class and the kid desperately wants a rice cake, take him/her aside and let him/her eat it. I bet he/she would realise that the music instruments may be more interesting.

I am not against snacking at all but not at the same time as something else! I mostly pack a banana or grapes for my DS7 as he has the habit of getting HUNGRY as soon as we are out the door

OverTheGardenGate · 12/01/2017 14:05

Weird..... I'm old and we had 'snacks' when I was little. Not the constant grazing that goes on now, but certainly snacks were a 'thing'. The word has its origins in the 17th century so presumably predates your childhood??

I meant snacks weren't a thing that we had. Not that the word didn't exist.Possibly a cultural difference as I was brought up in a NE mining village and lunch was 'snap'. In fact it wasn't even lunch, it was dinner.
We never ate between meals, is what I meant. Or rarely, if you want to continue to be pedantic.

Dani240 · 12/01/2017 14:06

Most one year olds won't be able to understand "No you can't have a snack now, you will have to wait 30 minutes". I'd much prefer to see a toddler having a little snack than having a screaming tantrum because they're hungry.

Now not cleaning up after their child is a different matter, that would really irritate me. But I find it hard to disapprove of parents feeding their very young children when they are hungry.

DailyFail1 · 12/01/2017 14:07

It's really bad parenting to offer snacks for anything other than hunger. I see it all the time - little percy's throwing a tantrumn/beating his sister (probably because he's bored or tired) & then gets a rice cake shoved in his gob to make him behave.

Bibblewanda · 12/01/2017 14:07

Why can't they have snacks in the car seat? misses point of thread

It's the only thing which stops my 10 month old being a screaming banshee in the car

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