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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think your child doesn't need a snack in a 30-minute toddler class?

413 replies

Mummyreindeerlegz · 12/01/2017 12:10

Sorry for the long title.

Why is it some parents give their one year old snacks during really short classes (or at all during classes!)? A one year old wandering around with a soggy rice cake, dropping bits is grim. Wait half an hour or give them a snack before you come.

Please tell me why people think this is ok? Fully prepared to be told I am being unreasonable.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 13/01/2017 17:46

Some people on this thread are truly awful, intolerant, inward looking, judgemental twats beings

Do you honestly think 'apologising in advance' and being 'caught in a bad mood', gives you a licence to insult people who have taken part in the discussion on this thread?

I mean really?

Flingmoo · 13/01/2017 17:51

I don't have a problem with toddlers snacking at any time. 5 minute wait at a bus stop, during a toddler group, whenever. Little and often may be better than massive meals anyway.

What I do find ridiculous is the idea of a 30 minute toddler class. 30 minutes?! What's the point??

mightyducks · 13/01/2017 17:56

I'm with you, my personal grate is parents who shove sweets/ chocolate into their kids hands as soon as they leave school! Like they can't live without food until they get home!

MrsWez · 13/01/2017 18:11

No YANBU, just intolerant.
But there is no need to have a snack during a 30 minute class. It is repulsive when the kids wonder around dropping bits of food everywhere, and no doubt it irritates the person trying to give the class.
One day we will look back at all this and laugh!

GlomOfNit · 13/01/2017 18:12

It wouldn't even occur to me to notice this as 'not on'. Snacks at toddler groups are entirely normal, as far as I've seen. Sometimes children need a little incentive or encouragement to sit on a carer's lap during a song time or similar -some toddlers just have itchy feet and want to be moving! I see nothing wrong with keeping a toddler focussed on staying on a lap with some apple slices/cucumber/rice cakes/whatever.

My second son is severely autistic and is now 6. We take a box (or boxes, more like) of dry snacks like cucumber, cereal, popcorn etc pretty much everywhere we go with him - panto, his brother's school church service, the supermarket ... just about the only place I wouldn't let him have a quiet snack is the library. It keeps him still and on my lap or in his chair, and makes it easier for the whole family to go out together without rushing after him. He's on the 25th centile for weight for his age/height, btw, before anyone suggests I'm helping him become obese.

so, judge away! I really couldn't give a shit if you did. Grin

MrsWez · 13/01/2017 18:12

Because they have the attention span of a gnat?!

Ohmuther · 13/01/2017 18:20

YABU. Could be medical, could be behavioural. Could be an 'entitled' parent, could be a struggling parent.
Please be kind to people, you have no idea what's going on.

FurryLittleTwerp · 13/01/2017 18:20

One of my unbreakable rules when DS was a toddler was sit down when you are eating - partly to reduce mess but also for safety.

I can't bear wandering grazers dropping their salivary mess everywhere that goes for adults too

At that age is was unlikely DS would have wanted a snack in the middle of an interesting activity, but I always had a snack available in case he went from fine & pleasant to ravenous & foul in a split second Grin

FurryLittleTwerp · 13/01/2017 18:20

*it was, not is was

Anywhichway123 · 13/01/2017 18:50

Totally agree with you OP

I have a 20 month old and have been to all the usual toddler groups e.g. baby sensory, music classes, art classes, rhyme time etc etc and I'm always amazed by the amount of snacks some parents give to their children during one of these classes. Some last half an hour some an hour. I never give my DD any snacks when we're at these classes. I want her to be too busy playing and enjoying herself to be eating and she's not going to starve if she doesn't eat for an hour!

LubiLooLoo · 13/01/2017 19:01

no child is ever hungry in 30 minutes

You have never met my son obviously! Also, it's not 30 mins for everyone. It's a 30 car trip there and back, 20 mins trying to get everyone out of the house, 5 mins hanging around waiting for the class to start...

It's not ideal, and it's good to do your best to avoid the situation, but I'd rather give my son some finger food than miss the class to his crying.

The use of 'entitled' annoys me here. You're entitled to your opinion, but judging other parents trying to do the best for their baby (even at your mild discomfort) isn't all that fair. You might be able to reason with a 2 or 3 year old, but a 1 year old doesn't understand 'later darling...'

Sarahrellyboo1987 · 13/01/2017 19:06

Umm - yeah, kids can just eat in the car seats. Unless your child has a medical issue (or choking risk) it's utter BS about not eating in car seats

picklemepopcorn · 13/01/2017 19:15

This didn't used to be normal. I have run a baby group for years and always provided toast mid session. The children used to sit down to eat it, then we packed it away and they went off to play. Now they arrive with breakfast in a cup, snack, don't eat the toast or eat it wandering around, and the toys and carpet get filthy.

Shona52 · 13/01/2017 19:19

I have a ds with autism (wasn't diagnosed till 4 but starting being investigated just after 2 for it) no way can he wait for food even now when he needs food he has to have. But I wouldn't give it unless he showed signs that he was needing it

CantReach · 13/01/2017 19:20

Equally, when I was at school we were given a small beaker of milk or water with lunch, and nothing else for the rest of the day. That used to be normal. I was so used to this that I only started to use the school loos when I started my periods. I can't imagine not going to the loo between 8 and 4 now, and most people would say that isn't ideal.

PatsysPyjamas · 13/01/2017 19:26

Sorry, I haven't read the thread but my 10yo DD goes to an activity which lasts 1.5 hours and has a snack break. Gets on my wick as I often forget to give her a snack and then she says she feels left out. She eats dinner before she goes, so I don't see any need for a snack.

starlight13 · 13/01/2017 19:27

The worrying question should be why does a one year old need to go to 'a class' FHS? They are 1, they do not benefit from being dragged here, there and everywhere. And yes, you are being unreasonable, I've seen it all before and it is the children who go on to be slow/ behind and dull at school who were the ones who when toddlers sat there like limpets to their parents and were 'scared' of them. WE are humans, we graze and little children are just being human. The questions, statements etc on this site are beyond ridiculous sometimes. I hope the parents who do 'entitle'(!) their children to snacks occasionally don't ever listen to those narrow minded parents of 'perfect' children. Your children at least have some 'spark' about them and respect for not holding snacks as a ransom to a toddler.

StandardNameHere · 13/01/2017 19:41

PP - it really isn't BS about babies eating in car seats when driving (if you are stationary and sat next to them then fair enuff)
A baby choking is silent, all it takes is a bump in the road, a harsh brake- you may not look in the mirror in time.
As a paramedic, believe me- the advise saying not to give children food whilst driving is not BS

FrizzyMcFrizzface · 13/01/2017 19:48

I run those type of classes and have a strict no food policy due to babies and allergies etc. However some people have ignored it 😡 and I have had to point to the signs. It is ridiculous to suggest they can't last 30 minutes without a snack.

I don't give my DC snacks on a regular basis and never have and they have both always survived to each meal time without tantrums. They are both boys (if that makes a difference?) and one has a genetic disorder that means he never feels full and has an obsession with food. If he manages, why can't everyone else? We have been told never to use food as a reward or bribe for good behaviour - I think the general population would be healthier if everyone followed that advice.

Believeitornot · 13/01/2017 19:53

I don't think snacks are the cause of our obesity crisis judging by some of the responses.

More like the lack of exercise and low fat/high sugar diets we tend to have.

Anyway I digress. OP yabu. Your child has a severe intolerance or is it an allergy? Is th world expected to bend to your will?

As for those saying their children survived between meals - did they never have a tantrum? That tantrum could have been because they were hungry but being 1, they find it hard to articulate. Sometimes I at the grand old age of 35, get grumpy etc then it's only after stopping to think, I realise I'm a bit thirsty or need a snack. However I don't gorge on three meals a day - I don't feel full after a meal because I don't eat big portions. So I have snacks to top me up. I'm a size 8.

Rixera · 13/01/2017 19:56

Completely agree believeitornot.
And it strikes me as quite minimising to say 'that will cause food issues if you're not careful!' or other threats of eating disorders. Erm, no, my anorexia is not caused by my mother serving me grapes instead of cake, and I'm sure an overeater's problem is more complex than having a rice cake between meals.

Sirzy · 13/01/2017 20:00

But a lot of obesity comes from comfort eating, and by giving food to stop upset that is exactly what Is being encouraged.

QueenofTinyThings · 13/01/2017 20:21

Its a small snack, they are babies, everyone parents differently, multitude of reasons they may have been fed during the class, stop stressing, life's too short!

Rixera · 13/01/2017 20:26

Yes, Sirzy, precisely- and toddlers don't have the capacity to learn complex emotion regulation. They face enough frustration and distress tolerance just trying to put an arm into a sleeve or a cup to their face, making them ignore hunger to prioritise the adult's preferred tasks or timings seems way too much to me.

Of course if they weren't asking for food it would be silly to make them eat it, but the antidote to comfort eating would surely be teaching healthy ways to manage emotions rather than placing so much importance on what is eaten and when. That just enhances the 'specialness' of food.

picklemepopcorn · 13/01/2017 20:29

Basically by eating where and whenever, those children make it very difficult for all those with food intolerances and also for the groups leaders who can't keep the equipment clean.