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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think your child doesn't need a snack in a 30-minute toddler class?

413 replies

Mummyreindeerlegz · 12/01/2017 12:10

Sorry for the long title.

Why is it some parents give their one year old snacks during really short classes (or at all during classes!)? A one year old wandering around with a soggy rice cake, dropping bits is grim. Wait half an hour or give them a snack before you come.

Please tell me why people think this is ok? Fully prepared to be told I am being unreasonable.

OP posts:
Jennymummy2014 · 12/01/2017 22:44

Not sure why everyone is so uptight about this. If it's what the child wants, then why not? If they're being rude and leaving stuff everywhere, why don't u just say something to them? Also, if your child has a serious allergy, then the class leader should be informed and everyone told that it's not acceptable, or at least keep snacks tidy and away from other toddlers. The problem won't be solved by judging them on here and having a go at how other parents parent their kids.

DailyFail1 · 12/01/2017 22:56

RabbitSaysWoof I would get very firm if strangers were feeding my toddler like that. Just say no, or leave those kind of groups. What if your dc had an allergy?

RabbitSaysWoof · 12/01/2017 23:11

It was friends that I had known for years before even having dc, I was really upset and insulted about it at the time, l even started a thread about it. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/2376687-If-your-dc-dont-snack

OverTheGardenGate · 12/01/2017 23:14

*And I've always queried the logic in ' he doesn't eat much at mealtimes so I have to give him regular snacks "

Hmmm... Maybe it's the other way round *

Oh how I love to hear the voice of common sense.

user1477282676 · 12/01/2017 23:20

Rabbit oh and for me, that followed me into the DC being older! When mine were about ten and six, we met up with some old friends for a day out.

They bought their children something to eat from seemingly every single food stall and van we encountered!

Chips,
Lolly ice
Ice cream
Chocolate bar
Fudge
Sweets
Hot chocolate

It went on and on and mine were looking at me like "Are you really not going to get us that too!?"

Mine had had a large lunch in the pub, then ice cream and I balked at adding chips and more crap...apart from the cost this was a terrible amount of food.

The other children were very overwreight.

80sMum · 12/01/2017 23:20

Children nowadays seem not to be able to go more than 30 minutes without eating something. What is all this obsession with snacks? I don't think they're necessary.

WellErrr · 12/01/2017 23:30

Not sure why everyone is so uptight about this. If it's what the child wants, then why not?

And herein lies the problem with modern parenting.

WorraLiberty · 12/01/2017 23:48

During the 6 years I've been on MN, I have repeatedly read overweight/obese posters saying they have weight problems, due to being made to clear their plates as a child.

Therefore, they didn't learn to stop eating when they were full and it's caused them lifelong problems.

Well I can see the overweight/obese adults of the future, blaming their weight problems on the fact their parents kept shoving food at them, whenever they cried/had a tantrum/became bored or restless.

It's the same thing - eating for eating's sake, rather than eating when you're actually hungry.

Many kids today don't actually know what hunger feels like because they're not given the chance to feel it for more than 2 minutes.

Hunger is not an enemy. It's a perfectly natural feeling and one that actually makes many people enjoy their next meal all the more.

WellErrr · 12/01/2017 23:50

Totally agree Worra had to happen someday Grin

Sirzy · 13/01/2017 06:45

Exactly worra

Gileswithachainsaw · 13/01/2017 07:08

Great post worra

It's scary how it's all just become normalised.the food threads always stun me. How school age kids eat adult portions how teenagers raid fridges all day etc

I was a teenager once. I never did that. My brother was always eating and was skinny as anything. He isn't anymore though.

Well here's some news. That ability to stuff your face and remain slim one day just stops. You don't know when it's going to happen could be a more than could be a year but one day it will stop and you will end up three times the size you were whilst wondering how it happened as you haven't changed your habits.

Which is why instead if taking full advantage of the ability as fun as it may be it's still better to not developed bad habits of snacking and eating all day.

As a teen I went to school and then college there was none of this ridiculous food consumption. My parents would never have allowed me to eat a weeks worth of packed lunch items in an afternoon.

Strangely enough they can't help but constantly try and throw food at the kids now. Which I have to keep reminding them not to. An hour of sport does not "make room" for a ton of crap.

I actually have no idea how people afford it tbh everyone's kid on MN seems to eat all day and must have shares in ocardo because getting through that lot can't be normal..

Gileswithachainsaw · 13/01/2017 07:11

It also seems almost an achievement to people too. Look how much my toddler eats for lunch. Like you are somehow starving your child when you provide something more sensible in its size.

It's lime that Jo frost programme and how shocked the parents were when she showed them what their age appropriate portion was. Amd the kids were eating up to 4x what was recommended.

waterrat · 13/01/2017 07:20

I have -like many other people I know - been guilty of using food to pacify or distract my small children. I did it much less with my second child because I cpuld see how pointless most of the calories were .....

Completely agree that hunger is not something to be scared of. We have all lost touch with the idea that hunger is natural and can be enjoyed !

For those saying children should eat snacks simply because they want to. Wr have an obesity epidemic !!! A very very serious one in the UK and globally.

WellErrr · 13/01/2017 07:25

The danger with using food as a comforter, a distraction, a reward, a leisure activity etc, is that the child will associate food with happiness and end up a comfort eater.

There's a reason there are so many overweight children around these days, but no parent ever seems to recognise that it could be their fault.

Gileswithachainsaw · 13/01/2017 07:31

There's a reason there are so many overweight children around these days, but no parent ever seems to recognise that it could be their fault

And coupled with the old "storing up before a growth spurt" or "he looks like my dd at that age he's now a bean pole" etc people can't actually now even see there's a problem. Even when their 6 ur old is wearing clothes for 9-10 year olds. It's then the clothes fault they are badly designed etc

Bar one or two places most clothes come up huge now

Kids spend far more time sat at desks at school then home doing homework etc

They are responsible eating more than ever and no longer have the free roaming status we all had as children. MN wants to call SS should a 9 year old post a card through a neighbours letterbox three doors down let alone going to the park to run around

Gileswithachainsaw · 13/01/2017 07:32

They are now eating

Cold hands sorry Blush

NickyEds · 13/01/2017 08:20

Surely there's a big difference between giving your children lots of treats to keep them quiet and giving them a snack because they're hungry. It's fine to experience some hunger and if my kids get hungry 20 minutes before a meal then they can be entertained until it arrives, if they get hungry 2 hours before then they get a snack. It's not snacking as such that causes the problem. My friend gives her dc, what I consider to be a large afternoon snack, but they eat quite late so that they can eat together- she adjusts their protons accordingly.

NickyEds · 13/01/2017 08:33

Portions not protons!

WorraLiberty · 13/01/2017 10:06

WellErrr, let's never speak of this moment again Grin Grin

Totally agree Giles. Many constantly snacking-for-the-sake-of-it kids/teenagers will be quite active at this point in their lives.

But once they reach adulthood, they obviously stop playing in the street/park, they'll often drop the sporting activities gradually and they'll take up driving.

Yet the eating habits they learned as children, will often stay with them forever - hence the reason I think they'll be the overweight/obese Mumsnetters of the future, blaming their parents for their poor relationship with food.

Oneisenoughokay · 13/01/2017 11:24

It can make massive difference. It's the difference between a well behaved lovely child and a absolute nightmare. They eat when they are hungry full stop. Now my boy is three he understands there's a time and place to eat but before that it's not really an option. I wonder if some of you saying they can wait would also judge a temper tantrum? Sometimes if you give a little you can avoid bad behaviour. Although always clean up after yourself. Especially high chairs!!!

WorraLiberty · 13/01/2017 11:31

Why would anyone judge a temper tantrum in a toddler? They're perfectly normal Confused

It's good that your 3 year old now understands there's a time and a place to eat, no doubt that'll be because you taught him that.

The kids I see every single day outside my local primary, who are met at the gates with sugary/salty snacks 'to keep them going' on the journey home, appear not to have been taught that.

The same appears to go for the senior school kids who walk past my school crossing every single day, with a box of chicken and chips.

5notrumps · 13/01/2017 11:36

There is a shop (? M&S) which sells a range of snacks "for grazing"

Humans are not cows. We do not need to graze. If we model our eating habits on those of ruminant live stock but substitue sugars and fats for grass we will all get enormously fat. That is already happpening.

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 13/01/2017 12:01

Why would anyone judge a temper tantrum in a toddler? They're perfectly normal confused

People do though. My 7 month old was screaming in Costa last week. Me and DP had only just got out drinks, we tried to calm him but he wasn't having any of it so we got ready to leave. An elderly group of ladies kept looking over and shaking their heads. One even said quite loudly that she wouldn't have put up with that behaviour with hers.

People judge regardless of whether it's perfectly normal behaviour or not.

paxillin · 13/01/2017 12:06

I'd worry that "feeding away" a tantrum or whinge will lead to feeding any negative feelings in the future. Isn't stopping on-demand-feeds part of weaning a baby anymore? Quite a few undergrads are eating constantly during lectures, I suppose they just never stopped the baby feeding schedule.

CantReach · 13/01/2017 12:09

When do babies start to actually understand, though? A 3 year old you can have a conversation with. My just turned 1 year old understands 'no' but not 'later'.

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