To think SAHM's have an easier life?

[workingmummy123]

I understand this won't please everyone but I'm referring to SAHMs with school age children. I read lots of articles - one today on Facebook - which talk about how SAHMs "work" at home doing a hundred domestic chores. However I work full time and still have to do the exact same number of domestic chores - I just have less time to do them. Am I missing something??

[RockyBird]

They do, I am one. School age kids. WOOH up until 3 years ago through nursery and early primary years. This is a piece of cake in comparison.

[SkyblueAnnie]

If you work full time you are heartless and selfish and 'outsourcing' the raising if your children to someone else.

If you are at SAHM you are a drain on society or a man and setting a bad example to your children.

If you work part-time you are probably doing a crap job of both and your colleagues resent your family friendly hours.

Women just need to pick which kind of wrong we want to be - we will be judged fir it anyway.

Or be a man. Whichever choice they make they are a hero.

[SpartacusWoman]

Some people think going to work is easier than being at home looking after children.

Some people think going to work is easier than being at home in an empty house for most of the day.

Some people work/sah because they don't have a choice and have to get one with it.

Vice versa.

There's so many factors like disposable income, having a dh who pulls their weight etc as to if someone will find whatever easier. I know it sounds cheesy but if everyone does what's best and what works for their family then everyone is an equally great Mum.

I hate the way society judges women for making choices different to theirs, either criticising them and/or being jealous because their own circumstances mean they can't have same choice, and it's often women doing it.

I've had a gander at some male forums and I'm yet to find a thread where they are worrying about being called crap dads because they work 12 hours a day, or having a pop at each other and saying the Dads who work time or not at home can't find things hard because they don't work, or saying to each other why did you have kids if you're gonna plonk them in daycare, asking each other for tips on how to cook healthy meals after a long day at work.

It only seems to be women who have to worry about this stuff, and who are judged and criticised for it.

[happyfrown]

im a SAHM. of course i have it easier than a working parent, i don't sit here feeling proud of myself, i often feel like scum being a LP on benefits. i might have an easier day but i don't have money to go out and treat myself all day.
not all sahm are all down the café together then off for a manicure, some volunteer their spare time, some are just at home doing the house work without an adult conversation. it can be lonely.

[Whatabloodyidiot1]

I've been a sahm for 9 years now, youngest has just started reception last September so yes, life is significantly less demanding now!
I don't understand this new competitive 'who's the busiest' movement that seems to have come about in recent years, it's almost like people, mostly women I've noticed, try to compete with each other,
'I work full time, 2 kids in childcare'
'Well I work full time, 2 kids, go to the gym everyday'
'Well I work full time, 2 kids, go to the gym everyday AND we are renovating our house'
Honestly, so fucking what?! It's not a goodthing to not have enough hours in the day, to not have any time to yourself, to have to spend every night when the children are in bed cleaning/ironing etc. When did that become something to aspire too? It's sad, really sad.

[chipsandchilli]

Single parent and been both, i just do everything i used to do but go to work as well. I would say it was easier being a SAHM in my situation. Iv'e got no choice, got to go to work so iv'e just got to get on with it but sometimes I feel like i am drowning in housework and washing and it grinds me down.

[trilbydoll]

There is definitely something to be said for being out of the house 7-7, it surely can't get too messy?! I work part time and it seems to be the worst of both worlds - we are here enough to make it dirty but at work enough to not have time to clean it!

The school day is actually quite short, I think I would have a lovely time pottering around. And all the holiday / sickness cover would not be stressful. It would be amazing

[chipsandchilli]

i've *

[StealthPolarBear]

Ooh I thought it had been a good 24 hours since the last sahm bashing thread!
Someone mentioned a sahm who spends her time shopping for things for the house - that sounds so depressing

[Hedgehog80]

It's different for everyone. No two people have the same circumstances so you just can't compare working parents to stay at home parents as there are too many variables on both sides.

[fakenamefornow]

I am a fully paid up feminist and wouldn't want to see the clock turned back, but I do sometimes think, is this what feminism has bought us, chronic fucking exhaustion!

[workingmummy123]

Those of you who admit to going back to bed or sitting on the sofa do you never feel a bit guilty if your dh/dp is working all day? And do you expect them to do chores when they come in or do you do everything?

[ToastByTheCoast]

I'm sure this is going to get me into trouble. I sometimes wonder how long-term SAHM with school age DC contribute financially to society? I'm not talking about putting a value on raising children; more the lack of contributions to tax, national insurance and so on. Things that pay for the fabric and infrastructure of the society in which they live. I'm a full-time working LP. I don't have any choice about working, I do it to support my family and pay taxes and so on as a consequence. I do sometimes think it is really odd that we allow a whole group of people not to pay their way socially (just because they have partners who can support their personal finances). Is it fair? Probably need to find something to hide behind now!

[tankerdale]

Yep I agree with the OP based on my personal experience.

But I've still chosen to go back because I just wasn't very good at being at home (2dc at school, 1 toddler) Sat on my bum and watched too much Netflix which made me feel crap.
At least now I'm working part time I've got an excuse for not being on top of the house stuff!

[Basicbrown]

However I work full time and still have to do the exact same number of domestic chores - I just have less time to do them. Am I missing something??

I assume you are a single parent? I do significantly less chores than the average SAHM. I have a husband who does 1/2 and a cleaner.

Skyblueannie I couldn't agree more.
Even worse though is the sympathetic 'how do you cope with working FT..?'. No one ever asks a bloke with children that

[MsGameandWatch]

I suppose some do and I suppose some don't. I know I don't. Two disabled children and a lone parent. I think your OP is massively ill thought out generalisation. I get that it's hard for you having to fit all those household jobs in to less time but dare say the lovely wages you earn and the pension years you're accruing help pad the blow don't they?

[Whatabloodyidiot1]

I still class myself as a feminist even though I'm a sahm, I don't think the 2 are mutually exclusive. If you want it all, fine, fill your boots.
Me? No thanks, I choose to stay at home, I'm lucky I can do that, I couldn't be happier with that choice, I'm not bored. I'm content and fulfilled and as long as I remain feeling like that then at home I shall stay.

[museumum]

I'd hate to be a sahm to only school age children. It would be great in the holidays but in term time I'd probably feel guilty for any time I was relaxing, would have no excuse not to have a perfectly clean and tidy house and all washing done yet I bloody hate housework.
So yes, it might be easier but I'd be miserable personally.

[StealthPolarBear]

Toast would you find it more palatable if we took the high earning partner's salary and just divided it by two?
Between the two of them they have decided that one is a high paid whatever and the other sah. And between the two of them they get paid x.

[holidaysaregreat]

YANBU and I am envious of people who have the choice. People are commenting about having toddlers/babies home - the thread is about once the kids are all in school.
I don't work FT but work every day and often have evening work to do. So housework has to be done on the go e.g. load washing machine before work/house shop for food after work. If I was at home when the kids were in school I would be able to organise my week to get stuff done.
I would love to have the house to myself to potter about and do jobs at my leisure - or read a book/watch a film on my own.
SAHM with school age kids do sometimes make out as if they are super busy. Others just admit it is lovely.

[Tatlerer]

of course being at home all day when the kids are at school is much easier than working, everyone I know who has this life is getting more small minded and lazier as the years go by and things like going for a haircut are seen as a whole day out activity, rather than something you fit in.

On the contrary, the friends I've made in the last nine months are broad minded and into all kinds of activities because they have the luxury of time to enjoy them. As for your haircut comment, well I loved making an afternoon of it before I stopped working so that hasn't changed!

[aprilanne]

well i was a sahm My youngest had special needs .I had to home educate him from age 10 because the only school available was 50 miles away at a resedential .I can assure you i would rather went to work had someone else do most of the childcare and had him a couple of hours at night Maybe people with neuro typical children have an easier time but i certainly never now hubby seriously ill so still in bloody house .

[BoomBoomsCousin]

I'm a SAHM to school age children. It is easy. But it's also awful. I'm applying to go back to school because the SAHM role is entirely for everyone else's benefit and provides me with nothing.

[RebelRogue]

Women just need to pick which kind of wrong we want to be - we will be judged fir it anyway.

This sums it up

[StealthPolarBear]

April Anne id like to hope even the trolls on here wouldn't argue you have it easy. Sorry to hear about your dh being ill.