To think SAHM's have an easier life?

[workingmummy123]

I understand this won't please everyone but I'm referring to SAHMs with school age children. I read lots of articles - one today on Facebook - which talk about how SAHMs "work" at home doing a hundred domestic chores. However I work full time and still have to do the exact same number of domestic chores - I just have less time to do them. Am I missing something??

[Slightlyperturbedowlagain]

I do wonder how there are enough hours in the day for working mum to do all the chores. Surely if you get home from work at 6, cook dinner and eat it's then 7.30, bath and bed to 8. Do u clean then?
Nope I usually finish any last bits of work I had to leave in the rush to get to after school club, then DH and I make the pack lunches, do a load or 2 of washing and the scout/cub/karate lifts. By then it's time for a shower and bed for another early start... Cleaning and shopping gets done at the weekend and on the day that I don't work if I'm lucky!! We muddle through

[Waitingfordolly]

I'm a lone parent, I work the equivalent of full time hours but generally from home so flexible. I also home educate my DD because of bullying at school. I feel my life is pretty tough but I wouldn't like to be in a position of being financially / practically dependent on someone else in order to stay at home, so given the choice between this and relying on a man to support me financially I'd choose this.

[Pseudonym99]

As long as they can afford it, SAHP have a far easier life. Their working partner also has an easier life as they don't have to juggle childcare with work.

[BakeOffBiscuits]

Oh I LOVE a good goody SAHM thread

Fwiw I've been a SAHM and also worked part time with school age children. Being a SAHM was much, much easier, in my experience. HOWEVER I'm not stupid enough to think everyone lives the same life as me.

[flumpybear]

I'd be bored stupid!!! But each to their own as some may love it / but I'd feel I was missing out on a career, independence, brain taxing work and an edge to my little world ... probably the same if I didn't have kids .... but some don't want kids either
So as I said, each to their own!

[Bettyspants]

Bit of a goady post really. Been a ftsahm to 3 and of course it's easy when they are at school. Now work 45 hrs per week doing a PhD and feeling horrific guilt at not spending more time with my children . (All so I can work less with more money in a few years to benefit the family) have s DH doing similar. It sucks right now. BUT I'd rather have this and know what the future will bring than cleaning the house while kids are at school. I think op you could have been more specific . There are sahm with horrendous stress in unhappy relationships, those who are trying to work and can't , those who are skint and worried , those like me and stressed to the max but aiming for a chilled life in a few years... are we just going to compare how much we do or don't do?

[Isadora2007]

Having become a mum in 1997 I have spent more of my life being a mum than not. I worked PT round school hours when my second child went to primary (2005) then stopped again when third was born (2009)

Now my youngest is at nursery and I do some voluntary work. when he goes to school in august I will be a sahm to school age children and I bloody deserve it after all the time spent on the baby years and the toddler time and he threenager hell etc. Well deserved easier life indeed.

With that though comes the sacrifices of no foreign holidays for 10 years, cheaper car, tighter budget etc. Our choice but it isn't all tennis club and ladies what lunch at all...

When I do go to work it will be when DH can cut down his work and he will retire when I go full time so there will always be one parent at home.

[Earlgreywithmilk]

Why, are you jealous op?

I think the answer is that it can be easier being a sahm, depending on the choices you make.
You can run yourself ragged becoming a step ford wife and doing housework, running Errands, baking cakes all day - or you could flop on the sofa watching Jeremy Kyle all day if you like and not give a crap about the housework. Or you could be like me and do a bit of both. It is nice to have the choice though.
I went back to bed after dropping kids off to school today (not yet got my body clock back in gear after crimbo)
It was bliss..

[mambono5]

There's no cleaning needed in my house Monday to Friday because there's no one in it! It doesn't take any time to load and empty a dishwasher and wipe the bathroom. Weekends look like a war zone.

[haveacupoftea]

Oh this the Facebook posts like i am NOT just a mum...I am a nurse, cook, cleaner, nanny, alarm clock, story teller , psychologist, magician etc etc.

Well sorry but no you aren't just because you put a plaster on your childs finger doesnt mean you're a nurse FFS.

[workingmummy123]

Isla - you have proved my point - thank you!

[nokidshere]

love it

I do the school run and come home and do whatever I want until 3pm - total bliss and a far cry from manic days with toddlers.

And I even have a cleaner!

[Tatlerer]

I currently have a very easy life. DD is at nursery school 4 days pw and we have a cleaner and gardener, so my time is my own within school hours really. I am, however, going to start working again in the next month or so (3 days pw) but I will still feel like I have it very lucky as I'll still have a day to myself as well as a day with DD. I've had this lifestyle for the past nine months having worked full time since I left Uni 16 years ago, and yes, of course it's easier!

[Believeitornot]

Yanbu

Of course it's easier. I'd find it easier on me. However as a family we'd suffer as we would have less money coming in.

I know that not everyone would be the same - just speaking personally.

[PolarBearGoingSomewhere]

I was a SAHM to 3 under 5s up until DD1 started school in September. They were the happiest days of my life which made them feel easy - yes I was tired but I was so fulfilled and the days were full of laughter.

I'm still a SAHM but the school run encroaches on our freedom and spontaneity now and the rush out the door every morning makes it feel a bit harder

Objectively of course a SAHM with no childcare responsibilities for 30 hours a week would be an easy life, however mentally it must be easy to slip into lethargy and loneliness unless there are friends in a similar situation around and/or consuming hobbies.

[ShastaBeast]

Being a SAHP of more than one pre school kids is the hardest thing I've ever done. But once in school it's a lot easier of course. I chose to get back to work and I'm finding my work days easier in some ways than school runs and the kids constantly demanding things after school. And it was lovely to skip out of the house during the school holidays, I definitely got the better deal going to work.

[ssd]

of course being at home all day when the kids are at school is much easier than working, everyone I know who has this life is getting more small minded and lazier as the years go by and things like going for a haircut are seen as a whole day out activity, rather than something you fit in.

[workingmummy123]

And some genuinely interesting responses about loneliness and lethargy etc.

[frogsgoladidahdidah]

I am a SAHM, with a special needs child. My day involves school runs and daily therapies. I had more free time when I was working. Plus, I had a cleaner and a childminder for the little ones, and weekends were for fun because I had plenty cash.

And lunch breaks. I used to go out for lunch, or read a book. And drink cups of tea before they were stone cold.

So to you, OP, I say

[RebelRogue]

It was a lot easier being a SAHM because i'm a lazy git. Did the basics and worked on the principle of good enough. Oh and I'm great at doing "nothing" and I actually enjoy it. So now i have to work,get dd homeworked,washed,fed etc and in bed by 7pm ,do the half arsed housework i'd normally do and still find time to be lazy(happy me time).
I muddle on,but I'm kinda pissed off i started work one day after dd started school full time,so never really got to enjoy that,particularly the " I'm gonna sleep for 5 hours just because I can"

[Pigflewpast]

I was a sahm of 4 and a dog. For several years I had my eldest 2 training 5 nights a week for their sport an hours drive away and at different times, taking up from 3.30 - 9 PM. As well as morning training, leaving home at 4.30am twice a week. DC3 was doing a different sport, in a different town which had to be slotted between the other taxi runs. dC4 was doing normal swim lessons etc of younger child. Dog is mad and needs over an hours walk each day. Usual house cleaning, clothes washing etc for 6 person household. It wasn't "having it easy". Very lucky to have been in the position to do it, could not have worked as well, but it was harder than any job I've ever done.

[HoneyBeeMum1]

I have five children. A son at university and four daughters of school age.

My husband is the family breadwinner and I have not worked since I had our first child. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for mothers who work full time as well as bringing up a family to have any leisure time.

Even when the children were younger (I had four under six years old at one time), I have never found being a full time mother more onerous than working full time. Since the youngest started school recently, I have a significant amount of free time. I am able to enjoy all sorts of activities that add to my quality of life as well as that of my family.

I have the opportunity to keep ahead of the practical household chores so that when my husband and the children are at home we can enjoy time as a family. We then have plenty of time for activities such as riding, walking, mountain biking and running as well as reading and helping the girls with their homework.

Women who work and bring up children have my utmost admiration. I cannot imagine having to do so myself.

[Clandestino]

Hope I'm not late for popcorn and a fizzy drink. Let me know when you want to throw the first bun, though, I would prefer to stay clean.

[CafeAuLaitMerci]

Hey, PBP, is this you too? All these new names, you must be exhausted you little wind up merchant you!

[WhisperingLoudly]

We'll all things being equal of course it's easier than trying to do everything on top of a paid job.

I was a SAHM with school age DC for a couple of years, it was lovely: I got very fit, read a lot, hung out with friends, went to cinema, dressed fantastically.

Now DH is a SAHD and he definitely has an easier life than if he also had to work but my life is also far easier than if he was at work. Win win.