To not tell my mil that most of the food she buys us goes to local food bank?

[Nameforsaken]

When she visits, once every coupls months she brings lots of treats & snacks for the dc, me & dh. Mainly biscuity/chocolate type stuff. But also stuff we don't like the kids having like fruitshoot.

We obviously don't mind dc having treats but she bring us loads! And if they're in the house they get eaten so I find it best to give most to the local food bank.
I have asked her many a times in the past not to but it falls on deaf ears, so this seems to be the solition I've come up with.
What do you think?

It would...

That sounds lovely to hear, witsender. I'm sure that when you're on your uppers, a few treats would be very welcome. And let's face it, people who, 10 years ago, would never have imagined they would need a food bank are using them now. It could be any one of us.

Lou being "straight" with someone in this situation isn't always that easy. It's a complicated business.

My MIL is very generous, but any request to stop or reduce the volumes of sweets gifted she sees as a direct criticism of her parenting. Which to be honest, it is.

She (quietly) felt the same way about my breastfeeding. She fed my DH for about 6 weeks. She took my feeding for over a year as a reproach (which it wasn't of course).

Family relationships are complicated. I was honest in the end (through sheer exasperation) but only specifically about the Easter eggs. She still doesn't know that she's inadvertently kept our local fb in haribo for years.

And I still haven't solved the excessive Christmas and Birthday gifts yet. And I've tried in multiple ways.

I just add it to my mental "what not to do when I'm the MIL" list. I'm sure I'll drive any future DILs demented in other ways though. Filling their houses with books probably.

Can't see a problem, tbh. She likes bringing you stuff, you like eating some of it, the rest gets to benefit other people....win win win!

scaredycat really???

Great post gruoch. I imagine the OP has already tried to have those conversations, but has been ignored. This is a good, stress-free solution for everyone.

I feel compelled to share this just to see if anyone else would be grossed out: when PIL visit, my MIL brings ends of cheese that she hasn't used up. By the time they reach us, they have been opened in her fridge for several days, then in a hot car for at least 5 hours, more often 7-8 (it's a 5 hour journey, but they like to stop and visit somewhere on the way). I absolutely hate even touching them and they go straight in the bloody bin as soon as her back is turned! I then pretend I've used them in whatever I'm cooking. And that's just one of the things she brings!!

Thanks Shove. Eek re the cheese!

I'm usually one for very straight talking. My PILs certainly think I'm very direct. . However I do try my very best not to hurt their feelings unnecessarily.

Haha camo we certainly have to be quiet about things dc like otherwise we too will end up with tons of the stuff

I have asked her many times in the past. Dh has been very straight about it in the past but she just says okaayy in a whatever type voice and carries on.

Oh gruoch I've given up with the amount of presents the dc receive at christmas/birthdays.

I have a MIL like this, I have asked her MANY times not to, but she still does it. She is like Mrs Doyle, not taking a refusal for an answer... ah go on! She also offers seconds at a meal, if we say "No thanks, I'm full now" she just gets out the three different kinds of pudding. When we refuse that, with thanks, but you know, we're really full now, it's: "Piece of fruit to finish off with?"

SHE WILL NOT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. EVER!

We take a lot of chocolates and biscuits to the food bank just after Christmas too. At least someone benefits.

"She is like Mrs Doyle, not taking a refusal for an answer... ah go on!"

This made me laugh! It's an affectionate way of looking at it, too!