To take this further

[Raggydolly3]

I work for a charity and we have a board of trustees. I really like my job, The CEO of the charity has always been a very changable- one minute fine and the next pulling you to peices but she is like that with everyone.
I had a miscarriage on Sunday but managed to get in to work Yesterday (Monday).
I told the CEO what had happened and that I was still bleeding quite a bit but would do my best to stay in. She replied it was prob best I was in to take my mind of it which was my way of thinking as well.
Today I was in work and got to about lunchtime when I started bleeding really heavily, I changed my pad a few times but I started bleeding though to the chair, I was also having really bad cramps by this point. I went to our deputy manager who told me to go straight home and not to worry. (CEO was not in)
Tonight had a text from the CEO asking why I went home so I explained about the bleeding and the fact it wa coming through the pads into the chair.
I have just had a text back saying "why would you be bleeding so heavy now if you had the miscarriage on Sunday and could you not have worn a thicker pad or two at once and changed them more often"
It's has really upset me and I don't know if I should report it to our board of trustees or should I just forget it, she does have a reputation for holding a grudge.

I have worked for a boss exactly like this (the split-personality thing). They are very difficult to navigate, and actually end up making you second-guess yourself.

However, what she has done is not okay. It's totally out of order, and probably actually illegal in some sense, although I'm not familiar with UK employment law. She needs to be called to account.

There is no question here- you MUST report this.

This is shockingly callous, Raggy. You should report it.

omg report it!! that is horrendous! youd be doing the rest of the female staff a massive favour if you report this ceo because they cant be allowed to continue thinking that that is an okay way to speak to someone whos just suffered a miscarriage. Im so sorry for your loss

Some trustees can be very much in the dark about day-to-day operations or indeed the legal side of their role as employers and charity trustees.

I would write to all of them with all of what you are saying here as there is clearly a governance issue that affects your charity. Nepotism is a problem and failure to recruit appropriate staff in the correct manner can result in performance problems which then puts funding at risk. You need to consider making all of the trustees aware of your concerns. Having a brother as a trustee is a clear conflict of interest in the eyes of the charity commission. A trustee should be loyal to the charity, not the family member.

Trustees need to be reminded of their obligations and their legal exposure to the actions of the CEO and take mitigating action. Including having the CEO follow procedures and not text you about illnesses at night.

I'm so sorry for your loss but very glad to see you have a GP appt. Dont feel bad if GP signs you off, maybe you need it. I wouldnt reply to your CEO, simply email self-cert until you see the doc
I work for a charity also and last year I stood up for my mistreatment by the CS/boss. He had friends on the Board, but I still spoke to ACAS and followed the Grievance procedure. Surprisingly, the Board backed me, he no longer works there and the charity had its best ever year. (and I got a raise!).
As for the nepotism, employing nephew. If he wasnt interviewed, she did not follow correct procedure and likely broke the law by not opening the position to anyone else.
I think people forget that charities are also companies and as such are bound by law to follow correct employer procedures.
If you think your board are corrupt or will not take your concerns seriously, contact the charities comissioner. In Scotland, thats OSCR. The Board are volunteers but still have certain responsibilities (laid out in your governing documents).
For now, you need to look after you.

X-post with scottishdiem there! what they said!
My Board were appalled and unaware, what a difference now!

What EvilStepmum01 says.

I report it to everyone possible including all the trustees. I'd include an exact transcript of the text. Family or not I imagine they will all be horrified.

It's almost unbelievable it's so awful.

Hope you are feeling better . I went to work straight after an early miscarriage and I was glad I did but I had nice understanding employers who let me work short days and who I know would not have minded if I had stayed home. I definitely felt better for going in as I got a lot support from my colleagues and I liked being busy.