More a wwyd, household finances?

[sailorcherries]

My OH and I aren't married and have rented together since 2015 and finally bought a property and moved in in August 2016.

Currently we each have our own accounts and a joint account. We each transfer roughly the same amount each month (I earn a little more so transfer a little more, roughly £60ish). This is enough to cover the bills and leave a little extra in the account in savings. We then use the rest of our money on our own expenses (car, petrol, phone etc) and savings.

He is soon starting a new job, with higher potential earnings. Would it be wrong to ask him to increase his input in to the joint account to ensure we have joint savings and can afford days out/holidays etc from there and not personal money/savings? My career is a steady wage that will increase over the next 5 years (6 point scale and I'm currently on the 1st rung). I input the same amount each month and as my wage increases I plan on increasing the amount accordingly. I'm not asking him to put thousands in but say and extra £100 or so if he has it free, giving us £2000- £2500 sitting for birthdays/holidays/christmases etc.

How do you and your OH split finances if you don't mind me asking? I know my parents only have 1 account and each of their wages go in there with all bills coming out. However, they never had separate financial lives before committing.

Yeah I just don't know how to approach it without sounding grabby "i know you earn more so please put more in so we can live". I think a joint account would be easiest, but as we're not married I'm unsure how he'd see that haha.

Before we were married DH earned roughly double what I did so he paid 2/3 of the bills and I paid the other third. Now married with DC, our salaries are more aligned, but we divvy up bills so we both have the same disposable income. We have joint savings, but our current accounts are separate.

We are on the same lines as Sarah

Bills are 78% of joint income so we each pay 78% of our income over. This leaves about £100 wiggle room and dh has a lot more than me for 'fun' money, his tax bill and petrol and clothes etc. I use mine for petrol and clothes and some food shopping.

I think this is the best compromise for us as individuals living in a family unit. We have separate interests and I would hate to have my purchases subject to scrutiny. Also the stress of a joint account for bills and spending money would be so hard to keep track of.

I'm also going on mat leave soon so obviously wouldn't be able to contribute the same amount as my car etc will take up perhaps 3/4 of SMP and there will be no other money.

That changes things and it would be best to treat all money as family money and both of you ave equal spends.

We both put 2/3 rds of our income in to the J/A. That is for basic household expenses only. Holidays/cars/ meal or days out are all.separate. Together 18 years married 12 2 dcs.

also make sure any child related expenses come out of the joint pot not your personal spends

stillwishihadabs how does that work, do you earn similar amounts?

Everything goes into one account - my money is OH's money and his is mine. When I first moved in I took on his (small) credit card debt and now he earns triple than I do. Swings and roundabouts.

I couldn't imagine living with or marrying someone and still having your own finances. I just can't comprehend how that works when you go out for drinks, weekends away, pay for your kids, etc.

We just put everything in one joint account. I earned more for the first three years and now he earns more as Full-time. It works for us. Partly as dh hates shopping for things (apart from IT) and so I am making most of the purchases for the kids, the home, food etc. And of course I do well out of this, but it is also very much simpler to run it as one pot of money.

Me and OH have been living together for 10 yrs. We have separate accounts. He transfers me 50% of the mortgage, which comes out of my bank. I pay for council tax, water, house insurance. He pays for internet, gas and electricity. We both pay our own phones, car ins, and petrol. Whoever goes to the supermarket pays for that shop.
We each spend what we want and if one of us is short of cash at any time, the other covers it.
We never argue over money or feel that either of us is out of pocket.

I would recommend discussing 'what if one of us were to be a SAHP at some point?' Would your chosen system still work with a bit of tweeking. Even if you think you won't be SAHP. The one doing majority of childrearing, should have equal finances available to them as the one doing more in the workplace.

DP and I have put all our money into one pot.

The joint bills (including groceries and petrol) are split to reflect our income %. DP earns more so the split is 60/40ish. Then we have our separate bills (mobiles and a couple of small direct debits each). We then have pocket money that comes back out and is the same for each and in our own accounts. We then save the rest and discuss big purchases but the pocket money is enough that we can save ourselves usually. We dont have kids and dont want them but imagine this would be very different if maternity leave or similar was on the horizon (I think so many more women need to be clear about money when having kids).

I think that you need to have a conversation about your maternity leave and how much money you think that he should make available for all of your costs and the cost of the baby. It also depends on how your DP views this increased income. I, by my own admission, am bad with money and if I started to earn way more that previously or my DP I would still keep the current arrangement but I know that others would want to keep more of their income for new things. I think its best to create a budget for everything, including petrol, nappies, food, christmas, holidays etc and get commitment to it.

We are joint pot, even savings. TBH whilst I earned more early days in now a SAHM so glad!

The only time purchases are really noted is if account goes very low, which is rare, but then we unpick together.

I'm just glad to follow the easiest route tbh and it's seems hassle to work out %

It gets harder when kids come along and one partner gives up work or takes a big drop in income.

OH and I have one pot of money, we can spend as we like.

Having £100 each to "fritter" seems very wasteful, that's £2400 a year spent on rubbish.

Yeah I think putting all the money in to the joint account and then transferring a set amount to each person (enough to cover their car finance, phone etc while having the same left at the end) would be reasonable.

So for example if OH had x expenses and I had y expenses the anount transferred would then lead us to each having z spends once all is paid and done.

Then whatever is left in the joint account is there should we need it as a family.

This would be particularly useful during maternity leave as I could make sure that expenses are covered and no one is feeling short of money.

Between us, atm, we'd probably have say 1200 in bills, then roughly 350 personal, so 1900 in total. We bring in about 3000 between us, leaving 1100 - so we could easily have 300-350 each spends for the month with 400-500 left sitting in savings for a rainy, maternity pay day haha.

Gives us plenty of money as a family, plenty for random purchases such as lipstick or subways (OHs biggest flaw) and we can still save from that.

We pool everything.. I don't see it as my money or his money, it's our money. Works for us, appreciate it won't work for everyone.
Who cares who contributes more? As long as the bills are paid and you both act responsibly then it should work well!

If your income is reduced because of maternity leave, the impact of that should be felt jointly by both of you.

cocopop= I agree.

All money is family money. I couldn't be arsed working out who pays for what.

If you're having a baby, you definitely need to tear money as family money. I'm sure your DP doesn't want you struggling on SMP (unless he's planning on paying you for childcare ).

I would pool all money and you each get the same amount of spending money transferred back to your personal accounts. Then you both know you can spend from your own account freely.

Anything DC related comes out of the joint pot (do not get into the habit of spending on your DC from your personal account - it's family money you should be spending).

If your income is dropping due to maternity leave, your DP needs to share the drop. Pretty kids (and marriage) DH earned twice as much as me (he's older) so paid twice as much into the joint account to cover bills and we left the remainder in our sole accounts to spend as we please. Since having kids all the pay goes into the joint account to use on bills/family expenses and we have (a tiny amount) of pocket money to spend/save on ourselves each month. I only work very p/t and have been a SAHP for a number of years and would not do that with someone who is not willing to share finances. I do not feel like I'm spending his money - it's family money which he earns and I facilitate him earning by looking after our 5 DC.

Mindtrope

Having £100 each to "fritter" seems very wasteful, that's £2400 a year spent on rubbish.

Define rubbish. Perhaps 'fritter' was the wrong word. Maybe 'misc' would have been better.

We are fairly comfortable (that £200 is around 1.5% of our income). As I said, all of our income is pooled. Bills are paid by DD from our account. Fuel, clothes, food, holidays, meals out... everything from the single account. Having the £100 just gives a little feeling of not being watched or "scrutinised" as a PP put it.

My misc. cash is usually on chocolate, Starbucks, Chablis and climbing shoes. Little treats in life as opposed to wasted.

Besides the frittering money, we budget carefully. It works for us. You get the guilt-free part but also save well and know how much we will (can, and do) save each month.

I agree my "fun spends" this month were tickets to rogue one (enjoyed by all) followed by a burger out. I don't consider that money wasted at all.

Remember if you are unmarried and you jack in FT work after mat leave you are leaving yourself financially vulnerable. Your 'partner' is still living in flatmate/student land.

We do a variation on the percentage method. Our salaries go into our personal accounts and we each pay in a percentage of it to the joint account.

During the month we spend as we want/need from our personal accounts, then transfer any "excess" that we didn't spend into the joint account.

If either of us need extra money during the month we just transfer it out off the joint account -it's all family money, the personal accounts are more for convenience (and secrecy for Christmas presents etc!)

So I own a business and my DH has a salary. I earn less than him in a year but I have a salary and draw dividends from the business (which still ends up as less but makes it a bit more complicated)

All the bills etc come out of DH's account and I pay him a set amount out of my salary towards bills which works out a % of what we earn and leaves us with the same amount of disposable income. We then have a standing order into a joint account which we use for holidays, Christmas etc.

It used to be that the excess from DH's wage went into a savings pot but now we have a buffer of three months it goes on overpaying the mortage.
Then when I draw my dividends we put that into the joint account and that's for home repairs etc, it works out like a little saving system as pay myself minimum wage and live on that during the year and draw out anything I earn over that in one go.

Neither of us earn much but we don't have kids and we live super frugally so it works well.