14th Birthday Party - Cocktail dresses and heels please!

[laSegundaPaloma]

This was stated on the e-mail invite for the 14th birthday party of a girl DS1 knows. The dress code for the boys was "smart jackets - no jeans please".
DH picked DS and some girls up from this party at 11.30pm last Saturday. Things were in full swing - DS was on about staying later and getting an Uber home DH was shocked to see all the girls tottering round in high stilettos. In the car on the way home, he was listening to the girls debating whether so-and-so's shoes were actually Jimmy Choos or fakes
Has anyone ever encountered anything like this?

I had white stilettos at 14, worn with my "CHOOSE LIFE" T shirt, dancing along to Wham!

Ahh Them were the days.

I was wearing "Princess Diana" heels at about 13. Basically kitten heels so not as high as 4". These heels are for a special occasion, mine weren't. I'd have no issue with my dd wearing them when she reaches this age. But not Jimmy Choos. Unless we win the lottery, which isn't going to happen as we don't play.

The £750 dress was for yr 13 leavers ball - cheap compared to many.

I am both completely horrified and a bit relieved. That's what I spent on my wedding dress (several years ago) and I have felt so guilty about spending that much money on an outfit for one day ever since. Knowing that some one would spend that on a dress for the leavers' disco makes me feel a little better...

Crumbs - OK, we get it, you have wealth and want to flash it. Not everyone has it and many who do have it feel no need to flash it. Personal choice!

Actually on topic, though... when I was 14 I was 5'10 and so desperately trying to make myself look shorter, but plenty of my friends had stupidly high heels, and my (very middle-class, all girls' grammar) school was fighting an unwinnable war with us over what constituted a 'low heel'. It probably didn't look very classy, but I don't think it did anyone any lasting harm.

Sounds like the trashy types that go to dd's school. Fortunately most there aren't into this trying to look older/'celeb' nonsense and appear to be more focused on their studies/kid type stuff

Urrgggh! An adult calling kids 'trashy types'?

Sounds awful.

Pretty normal, got 2 teenage DD's myself. Im quite impressed with their makeup skill's and the massive perfect eyebrows they have mastered as well as the contouring. They seem to watch a fair few you tube makeup and hair tutorials then replicate them quite well.

When i was their age I had a massive perm covered in insette hairspray and orange pan stick or leichner? foundation but i never had access to you tube. I would say they look and act a lot older than my generation at the same age.

Ds2 is 14 and has started asking for designer clothing and accessories! I thought it was bad enough when ds1 started asking for hollister and Nike etc.

I can't believe there are normal income patents out there willing to spend £200 on a Gucci/Louis Vuitton belt for a teenager but apparently there are lots that do. So I can believe the jimmy chops etc for girls.

Am dreading dd becoming a teen. She's 10 and already aware of brands that her brothers weren't at the same age.

This is very true chips. They look so put together at 13, as if they've missed out the dodgy phase.
DS often goes to Harvey Nichols because there is a drinks bar called "Bubbleology" on the top floor which has been a craze with this age group for a while. But the girls will be in there having makeovers and looking for clothes! I just think it's too much too soon.

Non of them wear £750 designer dresses, maybe top shop or one of the many online store's and they would possibly wear some sort of heels if they were going to a wedding/party, not massive stillettos though.

My little girl is not even 2 but I'm suprised this is happening so young!

I don't think I wore heels until I was about 17! At 13 I was in doc martins, though this was this early 90s!

I must admit that even my daughter age 9 is obsessed with the Zoella make-up tutorials.

laSegundaPaloma I agree, they have people they follow on you tube with their own channels and they all seem to do it. They drew high def eyebrows and put a full face of makeup on their primary age little Dd the other day and when i told them to get it off it looked horrific they said its only makeup, we were practising doing eyebrows on her, little DD was gutted as she thought she looked great.

Well looks like my attempts to hand make her gown may fall on deaf ears if that's the type of money flying about

Crumbs - that's insane, spending that amount of money on a dress for a child. DD1 is at an international school, where most of the parents are probably richer than Croesus, and most of the dresses the girls wore to DD1's prom came from TK Maxx. As did DD1's (for £20) - hence us recognising all of the dresses, as she had tried most of them on!

At her previous international school in Paris, there was a bit more bling and cash flashing, but not from DD1's friendship group.

What sort of schools are these, actually? The photos of DD1 and her friends from FB show fairly ordinary looking girls in (age appropriate) party clothes, make up and small heels. Which is what I would expect.

Beezie your reply to crumbs is rather rude ; she is simply answering the question and showing that even at £750, it wasn't the most expensive. I believe this relates to the jimmy choos mentioned in the OP.

I remember trying to wear heels at 14 but instead of cocktail dresses , we all wore tight mini dresses that we had to pull down with each step! The most expensive dress at my yr 11 prom was £450. I think the most expensive shoes were about the same (Louboutins) .

Some have , some don't, oh well !

laSegunda - I have a photo somewhere of me resplendent in my broderie anglais ra-ra skirt, age 14! The 80s were well classy, I tell ya!

oh do do one strongmummy stop being so precious. it is a forum where i can freely say what i like, within reason. I stand by my use of the word TRASHY. it sums up these type of girls exactly. There is no direct shaming to anyone as i a/have typed this on a MN forum where i doubt you get many 14 year olds looking and b/i haven't gone into detail explaining exactly 'what' i mean by it. I don't have to either. There will be many reading this who both know exactly what i mean by its use and (silently) agree with me

I wasn't allowed heels until I was 16 , I did have the pencil pleated skirt mentioned above, though and wore it with heels clubbing afew years later

M0stleyhet , I think we're roughly the same age and bringing back so many memories

MrsSchaden - I don't really know the schools because they all seem to connect via Instagram or whatever, but it's Central London independents. Some of the girls are virtually unrecognisable out of uniform from what I've seen on DS' phone.

I know girls will push it where they can and we all did the same. I just don't think that, as a mother, I'll be stating a dress code to my DD's birthday parties any time soon.

I wasn't allowed out, let alone in heels til I had a job at 16. But my best mate who was a few years younger than me...although you wouldn't have known...was drinking, smoking, tottering around in heels and so on. I still keep in touch with her and she's an extremely responsible, rather posh, mum of 2 now.
If I could've afforded designer shoes back then (early 80s) I would've!! I remember spending a fortune on a black leather biker jacket, I still have it somewhere. The girls in question all sound fairly normal to me.

Here in NE US, cocktail dresses and heels are normal starting at 12 when all the bar/bat mitzvahs happen. The most discussed issue was whether or not strapless dresses were appropriate. I bought their dresses on sale, mostly $20 - $40. But they add up as there are many bar/t m and they MUST not repeat a dress (not within same "season" anyway) Heels are a definite also. But they take them off at the party to dance. Most hosts provide socks.