14th Birthday Party - Cocktail dresses and heels please!

[laSegundaPaloma]

This was stated on the e-mail invite for the 14th birthday party of a girl DS1 knows. The dress code for the boys was "smart jackets - no jeans please".
DH picked DS and some girls up from this party at 11.30pm last Saturday. Things were in full swing - DS was on about staying later and getting an Uber home DH was shocked to see all the girls tottering round in high stilettos. In the car on the way home, he was listening to the girls debating whether so-and-so's shoes were actually Jimmy Choos or fakes
Has anyone ever encountered anything like this?

Sounds pretty normal 14 yr old stuff to me.....

Not round here no - they'd know they were fakes!

But would you let your 13 /14 year-old daughter buy and go out in 4 inch stilettos - designer or not?

Nope.
I have a ds of 20, a dd of 18 and a dd of 15.

At 14, none of them were going to parties like that. At 15 and 18, nor are the dds still going to parties like that. Mine tend to go to house parties in converse / Vans / cheaper copies of same, with skinny jeans and tops.

Yeah I would - if it was her own money - why not if that's what she wants to wear?

My sister used to wear stilettos and 50s style dresses when she was 14, and not just to parties, it was her day to day look

I think my mum preferred the heels to the grungy/pierced/tattooed look that quickly followed. 😂

Seriously though, I think that at 14 if they want to wear stilettos then it's up to them. What's the worse that's going to happen (apart from bunions)?

Don't think they did at 14 but certainly black tie parties from 15. Not Jimmy Choos quite so young but Kurt Geiger, irregular choice and Dune, as I recall.

I was all ready to be outraged then remembered my 15 year old self tottering off to an 18th birthday party (friend's older sister) in a nightclub, wearing a tight black dress and 3" high stilletos. My other friend's mother fell over laughing watching my attempts at walking when I called for my mate to get the bus.

This was 1988 . They definitely weren't Jimmy Choos I was hobbling about in though.

Yikes, not here. A lot of them do have branded things but would be horrified at cocktail dresses and heels

Wow -trying to cast my mind back to the 80s
I have 2 daughter's - just trying to get my head round the fact that they will be asking for Jimmy Choos in a few years! Apparently some of the girls got them from Santa and it's all over Instagram.

I was that age in the late 70s/ early 80s - the height of new romanticism. I certainly remember my classmates in swishy non-uniform pencil pleat skirts like this, as long as they could get away with and heels as high and narrow as they could get away with (passing shoes like this off as school uniform]] . Isn't it part of the experience of being a teenager for many people?

I'd let my 15yr old wear them, but I wouldn't pay for Jimmy Choos, Top Shop all the way!

14th birthdays for my daughter and her friends were nothing like this. Not even remotely. They don't wear high heels or very expensive brands. My daughter camped in the garden with a few friends and they toasted marshmallows! It's still all sleepovers, film nights and activity parties round here.

I think things can change very quickly around 13-16 though and the timing just varies from social group to group.

many teens do think fugly staggerers, twisted feet, arse out waddle, fish pout and inch-thick makeup are a good look.

unfortunately so do many who are older!

just laugh and leave. No harm done by looking ridiculous.

The 'prom' or 'graduation ball' at end of Y11 (so 15 years) and in sixth form were definitely heels and ball gowns. Last year our daughters graduation ball dress cost us £750 with mine coming in much cheaper (parents were required to attend or child couldn't go). It was far from the most expensive. Sixth form balls were when the boys were bought their first dinner suit and dress shirt. Expensive but a lovely thing to go out and buy with each child in turn.

Crumbs Please please please tell me that you are joking and that £750 was a typo! You didn't seriously spend £750 on a dress for a 15yo?

I bet it isnt a typo. I saw a mother daughter combo few weeks back coming out if Matchsticks and talking about the dress they bought for the DD. It was £700! DD must have been a tween!

Sounds like the trashy types that go to dd's school. Fortunately most there aren't into this trying to look older/'celeb' nonsense and appear to be more focused on their studies/kid type stuff

M0stlyhet - Nice

I get it for the 15/16 year olds, but am surprised it starts at 13.

A few weeks ago, another girl had hired "Raffles" nightclub on the Kings Road. No dress code there though and they did chuck them out at 10.30.

Obviously, as my 2 eldest are boys, I have some catching up to do

Crumbs most will be 16 at the end of year 11. My dds school has a leavers prom and yes evening dress and heels but you dont need to spend that much (less than a 10th for both my dds dresses!

What does trashy types mean?! Do you think it's appropriate to shame young teenage girls?!

I had 4 inch stilettos at 12. Mum thought they looked smarter with Indian clothes.

Two of mine were 15 end of year 11 but yes many were 16 years by then. The £750 dress was for yr 13 leavers ball - cheap compared to many. Birthday parties she has attended in past year include flying twelve out to Spain for a week on a yacht and a private festival complete with yurts, portaloos, staging and cocktail bus for 150 (no ball gowns though).

I have no problem with 14 year olds wearing ridiculous outfits. It's in their job description. I don't like the obsession with wealth and labels.
Only boys here though.