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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that my friend's landlady is taking the piss?

85 replies

user1483971196 · 09/01/2017 14:25

My friend entered into a lodgers agreement that shes paying through the nose for, as she get a nice room in a nice house, rather than living in horrible student digs. Since shes moved in there has been one 'catastrophe' after another according to the LL. Her daughter moved out, and apparently she has spent days moping round the house crying. After this she spent a whole day and night moving things around the house, and invited her friend around to help. However I'm told they spent hours in the kitchen talking loudly (friend's room is separated by a partition only). Friend had told LL on many occasions she had important essays due imminently yet still this went on, and then again the day after! My friend had to work all night as she couldn't get any work done with what was the equivalent of two women talking and laughing at the tops of their voices next to her.
Now there's another 'catestrophy'! Apparently the LLs dog is sick and needs to be put down, but rather than being considerate to her paying tenants, she is having a vet come to the house and put it down, and has asked my friend (and I assume the other tenants?) to be out of the house for then! Obviously its very sad, but she is surely running a business (with two other tenants!) and sure this is completely unreasonable. My friend is so patient and passive but I can see that she's starting to get very stressed by the constant drama that seems to surround the LL. I have told her to move pronto, or at least confront the LL on how unprofessional and emotionally inappropriate she is being but she seems reluctant because she doesn't want to fall out with her. Am I being thoroughly witch like and unsympathetic? Oh and by the way, all this has happened over only TWO WEEKS!

OP posts:
MagicChanges · 09/01/2017 15:46

I think YABU - User are you sure you only joined today because I am pretty certain I've seen a lot of your posts, unless there's someone else with a user name and different numbers but I wouldn't have thought that possible. In fact I think we were in agreement on a recent thread (can't remember what it was about) - I have some notion that you were a foster carer but I might have that wrong. Gamerchick seems very confident that you are posting about yourself.

HalfaFishFingerAndTwoPeas · 09/01/2017 15:48

Magic there's hundreds of users with a 'user2357624568' name.

specialsubject · 09/01/2017 15:49

this is a houseshare and they are rarely fun with strangers, or even with people who you knew before.

great news though - 'friend' can move at short notice, live-in LL infers far fewer obligations (and rights) on lodger. Even if this is London there will be plenty of other options.

bleat less, do more. And remember what you see is what you get. A place with thin walls will never be quiet.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 09/01/2017 15:52

YABVU and weirdly over invested.

Think that sums it up. Smile

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 09/01/2017 15:54

I think YABU - User are you sure you only joined today because I am pretty certain I've seen a lot of your posts, unless there's someone else with a user name and different numbers but I wouldn't have thought that possible

There's fecking hunners of them.

I'm not suggesting there's a correlation between the poster being totally unreasonable and the use of an automated username but ...

19lottie82 · 09/01/2017 15:54

she needs to make sure she is still providing peaceful enjoyment

I'm assuming you mean "quiet enjoyment" OP?
Unfortunately this doesn't apply to a lodger, and even then it doesn't even relate to being quiet, as such, more like privacy for tenants, so the LL doesn't appear trying to access the rented property.

As discussed, your friend must have realised there was only a partition between her room and the kitchen, so this was likely to result in noise issues.

I'm not sure what outcome your friend is looking for here? It's unrealistic for her to expect others to tip toe around so she can study.

Surely the best idea for her would be to move on to somewhere that suits her better?

JaneAustinAllegro · 09/01/2017 15:55

I wish I lived in a universe where "constant drama" = 2 people chatting in a kitchen and a request to vacate a house for half an hour. She's really very lucky you know - your friend should read some of the housing threads on here about kids in damp, mould covered rooms and neighbour harrassment and take a giant, millennial snowflake shaped reality check.

(this does make me wonder about the student who took a room without any windows in a flat share only to discover that it was dark and poorly ventilated)

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 09/01/2017 16:08

as in my times of lurking I've read many posts which are not just expressing morally dubious opinions, but legally wrong too.

Where are all these posts that are morally dubious opinions and legally wrong.

Do you have legal qualifications yourself? or are you just guessing

Beeziekn33ze · 09/01/2017 16:15

Can you 'lurk' without joining?
Did the LL and her friend make a noise all day and all night?

Imknackeredzzz · 09/01/2017 16:16

You and your 'friend' are being very unreasonable. And frankly you are very rude with your attitude here.
Tell her to Buy noise cancelling headphones and a grip while she's at it

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 09/01/2017 16:22

Can you 'lurk' without joining?

Yes it is an open forum.

Lucy7400 · 09/01/2017 16:22

Just move out. Problem solved.

laidbackmummy13 · 09/01/2017 16:23

I am a landlady. I rent two rooms to make ends meet.
When my tenants moved in it was made quite clear that I have a dog and two children. Noise is gonna happen. Bathroom/kitchen won't always be available. People will be coming round and I will be going out. Don't like it then don't move in.
Renting a room in a house is hard. You have to remember you are paying for the room only. The rest of the house belongs to the landlady. She can do as she wishes. And TBH a bit of chatting in the kitchen isn't exactly a midnight rave now is it??

In this house there is midnight screaming (from toddler and baby lol).
But they understood that and accept it as it's cheap rent.

If she's that unhappy she needs to move out.

OhSuckItUpDucky · 09/01/2017 16:26

you do realise this is MN not NM OP ?

laidbackmummy13 · 09/01/2017 16:30

And if your that concerned then flat share with her. There. Problem solved. Well until u want someone over for coffee, then be sure to whisper won't you.

FairNotFair · 09/01/2017 16:31

you do realise this is MN not NM?

That's my belief system shattered, OhSuck Sad Grin

TitaniasCloset · 09/01/2017 16:32

OP yanbu.

In what world is a late night chat and a dog dying 'drama'?

Also you are being very rude to anyone most of us who disagrees with you.

I can only assume you are very young and that explains the lack of empathy and unrealistic expectations.

BTW I am a LL and have rented out rooms in my house for years. My tenants/friends know they are getting a very good deal so put up with the noise and other issues because its my bloody home!!

TitaniasCloset · 09/01/2017 16:34

Oops! I meant yabvu!!! Bloody spell check.

OhSuckItUpDucky · 09/01/2017 16:34

Fair Gin

OhSuckItUpDucky · 09/01/2017 16:35

Grin obvs but gin is good too

FairNotFair · 09/01/2017 16:36

OhSuck gin works just fine, thanks

KoalaDownUnder · 09/01/2017 16:39

take a giant, millennial snowflake shaped reality check.
Grin

Probs the best advice you're going to get here, OP.

LouBlue1507 · 09/01/2017 16:39

Still no answer from OP why she's posting on AIBU when all she wants is for someone to agree with her and have a different opinion?

pigsDOfly · 09/01/2017 17:11

Think OP has given up hoping someone will agree with her.

Clearly everyone on here is just as unreasonable as the friend's LL with her inconsiderate terminally ill dog.

GinIsIn · 09/01/2017 17:22

If your friend wants absolute peace and private space, they need to be the kind of 'paying customer' who pays for their own flat, otherwise I'm afraid it's part and parcel of shared living and they did agree the price and room prior to moving in so its not like it should be a surprise!