Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that my friend's landlady is taking the piss?

85 replies

user1483971196 · 09/01/2017 14:25

My friend entered into a lodgers agreement that shes paying through the nose for, as she get a nice room in a nice house, rather than living in horrible student digs. Since shes moved in there has been one 'catastrophe' after another according to the LL. Her daughter moved out, and apparently she has spent days moping round the house crying. After this she spent a whole day and night moving things around the house, and invited her friend around to help. However I'm told they spent hours in the kitchen talking loudly (friend's room is separated by a partition only). Friend had told LL on many occasions she had important essays due imminently yet still this went on, and then again the day after! My friend had to work all night as she couldn't get any work done with what was the equivalent of two women talking and laughing at the tops of their voices next to her.
Now there's another 'catestrophy'! Apparently the LLs dog is sick and needs to be put down, but rather than being considerate to her paying tenants, she is having a vet come to the house and put it down, and has asked my friend (and I assume the other tenants?) to be out of the house for then! Obviously its very sad, but she is surely running a business (with two other tenants!) and sure this is completely unreasonable. My friend is so patient and passive but I can see that she's starting to get very stressed by the constant drama that seems to surround the LL. I have told her to move pronto, or at least confront the LL on how unprofessional and emotionally inappropriate she is being but she seems reluctant because she doesn't want to fall out with her. Am I being thoroughly witch like and unsympathetic? Oh and by the way, all this has happened over only TWO WEEKS!

OP posts:
WorldsSmallestPatio · 09/01/2017 15:04

The great thing about being a lodger and not a tenant is that she can just move out.

It sounds like a crap place and not as described to her if they're being noisy in a room that was supposed to be unused. So she should move out.

Starlight2345 · 09/01/2017 15:04

I find your anger about this LL odd... This is your friend...Living as a lodger there will always be issues. Was she complaining about leaving the house ...I think respecting LL wishes for half an hour when her pet is been put to sleep is a very reasonable request.

Did your friend speak to LL about volume?

If she is unhappy she can move. The right to peace and quiet in property... I have lived in student accommodation and 2 people chatting and laughing while I am doing an essay would of been a dream.

I wouldn't want to live in a partitioned off room next to kitchen..

You only joined today to post about your friend???

ChicRock · 09/01/2017 15:06

You seem to have got your knickers in a right twist about his on behalf of your friend.

If your friend is that bothered I'm sure she'll find the gumption to deal with it herself, her way.

DianaMitford · 09/01/2017 15:06

So you only posted about this for support, not advice? Wrong topic OP.

Also - an eon is a length of time so doesn't make sense in the context in which you've used it here.

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 09/01/2017 15:06

So she was upset about her daughter moving out and the only reaction from you pair of loons is that it was really inconsiderate of her? Hmm Don't be so self-obsessed.
While I can see why it would be annoying to be kept awake, it seems it's only happened once. It's her home, why shouldn't she have visitors?
As for the dog, I can see why she would want the poor thing to be pts at home, it's horrid and stressful enough as it is. Your friend could always say she doesn't want to go out and that she will stay in her room, you know, use her words.
You both sound awful. HTH.

gamerchick · 09/01/2017 15:09

No I don't have a link. It'll be there somewhere.

DJBaggySmalls · 09/01/2017 15:09

Why are you so invested in this? Who can't show some empathy for people about to lose their pet?

You both sound like you have unrealistic expectations of what life owes you.

Emmageddon · 09/01/2017 15:11

I feel sorry for your friend - perhaps she would be better off renting a self-contained bedsit (she can soundproof the walls herself if she has noisy neighbours). At least she would have the privacy she needs.

I would hate to live in a room that was only partitioned off from another room.

Treaclex · 09/01/2017 15:12

I too am puzzled as to what responses you expected Hmm

JaneAustinAllegro · 09/01/2017 15:15

"quiet enjoyment" is a legal concept, not simply someone saying it'll be peaceful and quiet and nobody will use the living room the entire time you're here (in which case, why t f didn't she take the ENTIRE unused room rather than a partitioned off segment of it?)
You should appreciate that the property owner AND any other lodgers have a right to use her home regardless of who is studying and if your friend is so sensitive to noise and adverse to studying in a library, then she's not suited to sharing. Two people talking in a kitchen during reasonable hours is not something that anyone can reasonably object to but if it really upsets your friend they should get their own place, pronto.

NerrSnerr · 09/01/2017 15:19

If it's that expensive why hasn't she rented a bedsit or small flat? Seems really strange to pay loads for a partitioned off room. I'd be interested to know what you mean by 'expensive'.

Miserylovescompany2 · 09/01/2017 15:21

If she isn't happy then she should move or buy some ear-plugs...

The landlady is obviously having a difficult time of things, maybe it's your friend (the lodger) that needs to show some consideration right now.

Sunnyshores · 09/01/2017 15:22

Unfortunately I imagine its really hard to find a compatable ll and lodger and thats why rent a room is a cheaper solution than renting an independent unit - there is little privacy, little legal rights and its pretty hard to qualify the ll or the property upfront.

So, having found herself living somewhere she doesnt like she can either discuss it with her ll and ask her to - what? not have friends over, be quiet, stop having dramas???? or she can move out. Seems chalking it down to experience and moving out will be best.

Aki23 · 09/01/2017 15:23

You have given her the advice - leave or put up (with ear plugs). its up to her now. Dont get all upset over it.

DontTouchTheMoustache · 09/01/2017 15:24

Op I'm assuming by the fact you and your friend are fully time.students renting that you are quite young? Forgive me of I am wrong on that but if so it could be why you are so astounded by this. I've had many years renting experience and as PP have pointed out, it would be a different situation if your friend was renting the whole.property but in this case she is a lodger which is a very different situation as it's also LL home. It has to be viewed more of a house share situation. None of what you describe sounds bad at all, she had a friend over and they were noises, happens all.the time in a house share, your friend can go to.the library (I had to do this many times at uni due to noisey housemates). Her dog is about to die, this is an incredibly upsetting situation for your LLB as many people view dogs as like family members. In her heartache and grief she has made a small request for your friend to give her some privacy to say goodbye and cope with it.
You are being very unreasonable. Does your shock at the replies here not suggest to you that you might just be wrong?

ChicRock · 09/01/2017 15:26

LL is a bit upset because her daughter has moved out, has a friend over to the house and, shock horror, talks in the kitchen Shock and has now asked (not demanded) that your friend leaves for a short while (what like an hour, two?) whilst the dog is PTS.

This is life in a house share.

If your friend is too delicate for this then she needs to rent a flat/bedsit, but be prepared for the everyday noise of neighbours.

Original poster
user1483971196 · 09/01/2017 15:28

Quick response. She was wearing earplugs during the visits. Noise could still be heard. Was like working in a bar she said, and I could hear it easily over the phone.

I'm invested because she has had a nightmare of a year and IMO has lost all of her fight, and I'm worried about her. I hoped if I could show some impartial responses then she might pick herself up and stand up for herself. We have been best friends for over 15 years, thats why I care about her.

The dog it does without saying is beyond tragic. It is still yet more drama, and I dont think she should have to deal with it.

OP posts:
Original poster
user1483971196 · 09/01/2017 15:30

Donttouchthemoustache it doesnt make me feel wrong, as in my times of lurking I've read many posts which are not just expressing morally dubious opinions, but legally wrong too.

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 09/01/2017 15:30

'The dog it does without saying is beyond tragic. It is still yet more drama, and I dont think she should have to deal with it.'

This is life- and if you live in a houseshare you have to deal with other people's lives. When I lived in houseshares I dealt with people losing parents, relationship breakdowns, domestic violence etc. Of course i didn't want it to happen but when these things happen to people you live with you have to get involved!

If she doesn't want anything to do with others she needs to live alone.

Treaclex · 09/01/2017 15:33

Can't believe you said having a beloved pet pts is yet more drama Confused you have a very warped view on what drama is

Milklollies · 09/01/2017 15:34

Your friend should find somewhere else as the Ll is too much drama

DontTouchTheMoustache · 09/01/2017 15:35

The LL obviously couldn't predict her daughter leaving or the dog dying. It's not "drama" it's difficult life events that your LL is trying to cope.with. please try and forgive her for being human. Hmm

reallyanotherone · 09/01/2017 15:40

Your "paying customer" attitude is odd.

If you're in a house share, part of that is living with others and compromising on little habits.

"Paying customer" is getting the roof repaired and the washing machine replaced. It is not dictating what the ll can and can't do in her own house. She will be paying her share of costs too.

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 09/01/2017 15:42

You should appreciate that the property owner AND any other lodgers have a right to use her home regardless of who is studying and if your friend is so sensitive to noise and adverse to studying in a library, then she's not suited to sharing. Two people talking in a kitchen during reasonable hours is not something that anyone can reasonably object to.

^ This. Your friend doesn't sound like sharing a place is suitable for her (and believe me, student digs are generally WAY worse than this - music, smoking, pissed-up flatmates barging around making noise at 4am). She should rent her own flat if she doesn't want to be bothered by other people's lives and noise.

SpermThroughASashWindow · 09/01/2017 15:43

Unless she is very fragile, I think these 'dramas' are just part and parcel of living in someone else's home. She must have seen the room before agreeing to rent. Maybe you should try to find her alternative accomodation.