AIBU to think that swearing at children is wrong

[mandy20256]

Hi everyone
Just want some opinions please
I've been with my partner for nearly 10 years. We have 2 dc. One is 7 other is 2.
My partner has always had a bit of a temper and swears but I absolutely hate it when it's around the children or directed at them.
Last night was the perfect example. Eldest daughter not listening and my partner called her a fu**ing idiot. Now that's not on is it.
We've had issues regarding this in the past but it's becoming much harder for me to want to around him.
The last time this happened he promised me he would change but a couple of weeks later we're here again.
What would you do?
Thanks in advance

I very seldom swore in front of my DC, and never at them.

This has real world benefits. When I burnt myself quite badly in the kitchen I shouted "Jesus fucking Christ!" at the top of my voice. Within a minute they were at my side, applying first aid.

I didn't swear in front of my DC because i wanted them to grow up being able communicate consistently in environments in which bad language would damage their prospects. They can swear with their mates. At home a higher standard is required.

I don't think swearing, even at someone, is THAT bad.

Oblomov16 if I called my son "an idiot" or "a fucking idiot" in anger it would make me feel sick. I was brought up in a house where shouting was the norm and so I am very used to it. However I recognise it's totally inappropriate and yes it is THAT bad

Idiot used in a loving context?

Yes, used occasionally in my house. If I have an airhead moment it's pretty normal to hear me laugh and say loudly "Ah Dutch, you idiot!"

DS (5 years) has picked up on it and loves it when i say the same to him when he does something stupid (with the laugh, the loud voice, the hands thrown in the air).

He gets the giggles, i get the giggles, it takes the sting out of a broken plate or something equally minor that would otherwise embarrass/shame my sensitive kid.

Yes, idiot can be used lovingly.

Yes, idiot can be used lovingly.

Do you lovingly call him imbecile, moron or spastic as well? All of these words (including idiot) are generally considered offensive, disablist terms.

Ive sworn at my children when they smashed the tv and the excuse was "i was trying to hit my brother" i know that wasnt on but it was one off. I would never call them an idiot ect.

For what your saying he would be out

Do you lovingly call him imbecile, moron or spastic as well? No, I don't. I take your point (except for the part about "idiot" being disablist - the language has evolved past an association between "idiot" and any disability) and I understand this is an edge case.

Still, the PP who said that it is possible to use an insulting word as a term of endearment was unfairly taken to task.

Absolutely f*ing appalling.

First time I've ever used this phrase, but............ LTB.

don't know about the rest of the population but i am the least sweariest person i know [except on here because some things are so daft and ott ? [missing the point entirely]

We had clearly defined family 'no say' words and anyone could shout that out when one was heard. This was usually youngest DS to DH, occasionally visitors would look surprised then a bit embarrassed when a DC called them out. Should stress that verbal abuse was a complete no no and the 'no say' used for expletives and adjectives, f weather etc.
The plus for doing this was the acknowledgment that these words existed but shouldn't be used.

It's the idiot but that's unacceptable - not the fucking. Insulting kids is abusive. Calling them stupid is too in my book.

*bit

I wouldn't accept that being said to me do I absolutely wouldn't accept my child being talked to like that!!

I honestly don't think that I know anyone who hasn't swore... I feel like many posters are trying to sound really "correct".

IMO the issue is not swearing, it's abuse. OP's partner sounds abusive and aggressive. And that's not ok, whether with a child or anyone.

An extremely emotionally abusive person I know NEVER EVER used a swear word.

And yes Pizza, "idiot" can absolutely be used in a loving way. And even when it's not used in a loving way, it is not necessarily abusive.