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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think The question What did you get for christmas is a strange one for an adult?

118 replies

NormaSmuff · 09/01/2017 07:58

Went back to work and have been asked this question, which always stumps me.
I have a family with 3 dc.

to me Christmas is all about giving and , seeing family.
and tbh I can never remember what I got.
aibu
this question always has me stumped.
my pleasure is seeing the gifts I ahve bought being received. I am not sanctimonious, but I just can never remember

OP posts:
5foot5 · 09/01/2017 08:23

YABU I don't think it is a strange question at all!

Presumably people do buy you presents, what a slap in the face for them that you admit to paying so little attention to what they gave you that you can't remember what it was. How ungrateful!

You say you that you get pleasure from giving presents but how would you feel if the people you gave to were as dismissive of them as you are?

I too love giving presents and spend ages trying to think of things that my family will enjoy. But equally I got some lovely thoughtful things back and would have no difficulty answering the question.

WizardOfToss · 09/01/2017 08:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spartak · 09/01/2017 08:27

I think it's an odd question to ask an adult. I got asked if Santa had been good to me by a colleague. I'm 39 with no partner or children. I just gave a non committal grunt rather than make her feel awkward that the only gift I got was a box of biscuits!

HecateAntaia · 09/01/2017 08:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 09/01/2017 08:32

YABU.

You might not think you're sanctimonous but you sound like a burning martyr.

And I'm a bit incredulous that you can't remember a single thing you receive.

ChasedByBees · 09/01/2017 08:32

Makes a change from asking about the weather doesn't it!

ChasedByBees · 09/01/2017 08:32

Meant to be a ?

TealGiraffe · 09/01/2017 08:32

You enjoy giving, so presumably so do the people who give to you?

Ive said to people at work 'have a good christmas? Did you get anything special?' Etc its just normal conversation isnt it?

Some people got fabulous gifts, some people dont do gifts for adults, some dont do gifts at all.

It's called having a chat. I don't need you to tell me every stocking filler you got, just a general 'oh yeah Dave got me some lovely slippers' or 'we didn't really do gifts this year, saving for the extension'.

QuitMoaning · 09/01/2017 08:33

I think it is good sometimes as a conversation starter.

Original poster
NormaSmuff · 09/01/2017 08:33

well I could remember if pushed of course, but it stumps me Blush

OP posts:
Bobochic · 09/01/2017 08:35

I got some beautiful jewellery for Christmas. And money to buy things for our home - have already spent 1/3 of it replacing dinner and side plates. I enjoy them every day! How could I forget?

mumeeee · 09/01/2017 08:36

YABU. It's a fairly normal question. Adults still get given gifts. Well they do in my family. DH and I buy for each other and we exchange gifts with our adult children

OhhBetty · 09/01/2017 08:37

People are just making totally harmless conversation. I think you sound ungrateful that you don't remember anything you received. I think you do sound sanctimonious. Like anyone who enjoys receiving gifts is not as good as you. Fwiw I think he majority of adults enjoy giving presents etc, they just don't feel the need to tell everyone that.

KatSkinner · 09/01/2017 08:37

Yanbu I HATE being asked this. I dislike Christmas at the best of times so all the shite before hand "what do you want for Christmas? Have you decided what I should get you for Christmas yet? Is there anything you need that I could get you for Christmas? ... " argh! No leave me alone because I can't be arsed to think about it and if you can't think of anything you want to get me, don't bother!!! It's not my job to organise your Christmas present buying!!!

And then after Christmas - "what did you get for Christmas?" I don't know, can't remember because as soon as the day was over I stopped pretending to be into it!

Sorry for the rant, yanbu op - I hate being asked because like you I can never remember.

Original poster
NormaSmuff · 09/01/2017 08:37

i know a couple of things i got which I really enjoy

agree, it is just Chat, I guess I struggle with chat.

OP posts:
Plifner · 09/01/2017 08:38

Someone asked me this the other day and I was completely blindsided by it, so yanbu OP.

I think of Xmas presents for kids really. I'm 50 it seems a ridiculous question. In my case it was a boast as the woman that asked me got a mulberry handbag and a spa day Grin

I got some nice skincare stuff and two books both of which I bought myself and gave to dh to wrap for me Grin

HecateAntaia · 09/01/2017 08:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
NormaSmuff · 09/01/2017 08:38

its like hairdresser chat isnt it?

OP posts:
Original poster
NormaSmuff · 09/01/2017 08:39

exactly plifner.

OP posts:
picklemepopcorn · 09/01/2017 08:42

I think the present side of Christmas is more important to some than others. Some will have received a diamond necklace or an Apple Watch. Others will have had slippers and a toblerone. The first group are more likely to ask than the second, I think.

Original poster
NormaSmuff · 09/01/2017 08:42

agree pickle

OP posts:
TealGiraffe · 09/01/2017 08:43

I think its actually sad that people are so unappreciative. You enjoy giving. Now imagine that person a week later going 'oh god i cant remember....im not a child....i prefer giving'. Doesnt it make you feel a bit shit?

picklemepopcorn · 09/01/2017 08:43

My answer would be, if I were honest: more scented candles than I could burn in five years, chocolate, and a pair of slippers which I love.

Original poster
NormaSmuff · 09/01/2017 08:45

no but why would people be interested in the fact that my dm got me a dressing gown? and no my DH did not get me an Apple thingy and I guess we dont spend a fortune

OP posts:
Plifner · 09/01/2017 08:45

Yes. Some people live for the present side. I bought my dsis a present, spent quite a lot of time choosing it as she's a single mum and I know she loves presents. She didn't get me anything. Said afterwards that she couldn't afford to. I was a bit miffed (she could have told me before!) but then I thought oh well, it means more to her than me so I'll carry on buying.