Hospital should feed breastfeeding mums?

[NurseRosie]

AIBU to think that if your baby is in hospital and Mum is staying as fully breastfeeding, the ward should feed Mum? The NHS is not spending money feeding the baby as mummy us making the milk. Baby feeding sometimes 2 hourly and very clingy as unwell. Ward have only given tea and biscuits. Restaurant expensive and open funny times, for example baby upset over lunch yesterday so didn't get down until 2 and they'd stopped serving hopt food for the day. Do you think they should offer mum a meal?

When my DS was 4 months old and exclusively bf he was very ill and in hospital for 4 days over Christmas. I arrived in an ambulance with him so had no money, purse or time to get any supplies for myself. My son was in isolation meaning I couldn't leave him and there were no shops, cafés or anything open as it was Christmas. I was offered not so much as a drink of water the whole time even though I was bf every 2-3 hours. My DH had to drive 20 miles each day with our other kids to bring me food. It was a bloody disgrace and I wrote to the trust afterwards. Their response was that as exclusively bf babies are so rare they didn't have a policy. Hope you get sorted OP!

I've changed my outlook after reading this thread. However, I don't think that bf mums should be fed and not ff mums. Or dads for that matter. If they are expected to be with their child to provide care.

This is based on the expense and inability to access food, not the breast is best ideology (which I don't agree with for several reasons).

Exactly @Blu

During our 2 weeks in Paediatrics, there was no one visiting me and the twins until after 6pm during the week. Everyone was at work.

My girls were on oxygen, so couldn't leave the room, and I was bf-ing them every 90 mins or so. We were in a side room, so nurses would only be in if they were doing meds or observations etc.

How was I supposed to go and get a sandwich/lunch? I was in a room with 16 week old twins on oxygen, by myself for over 10 hours at a time (sometimes longer) for around 12 days. It's not just as easy as just popping to the M&S or Costa etc in the hospital!

Some of the people posting on here should be ashamed. I must say I have been through hell this past week but the vile attacks I have read here just make me feel like there is no hope for humanity. I've learned a big lesson about posting on here.
I am well aware of how the NHS works and it is run on the good will of the staff like myself, run down to the ground, going the extra mile, working extra for nothing, not getting breaks, not having the resources to do their job properly, not being paid for mileage and repairs to vehicles used essentially for the NHS to deliver community care, paying top dollar to park at their work place while the unbalanced hierarchy criticise and make cut after cut and push staff to the limit. I've seen how funds are wasted on throwing away food, the over prescribing and dispensing of medications, inappropriate use of services by patients, the before mentioned unbalanced hierarchy, just to mention a few. For those asking why the NHS is on its knees, it is not from spending pennies on food to feed mums who are trying their best to help to heal their poorly babies!
I am not a scrounger, was just looking for help in a very challenging situation.

Some of the people posting on here should be ashamed. I must say I have been through hell this past week but the vile attacks I have read here just make me feel like there is no hope for humanity. I've learned a big lesson about posting on here.
I am well aware of how the NHS works and it is run on the good will of the staff like myself, run down to the ground, going the extra mile, working extra for nothing, not getting breaks, not having the resources to do their job properly, not being paid for mileage and repairs to vehicles used essentially for the NHS to deliver community care, paying top dollar to park at their work place while the unbalanced hierarchy criticise and make cut after cut and push staff to the limit. I've seen how funds are wasted on throwing away food, the over prescribing and dispensing of medications, inappropriate use of services by patients, the before mentioned unbalanced hierarchy, just to mention a few. For those asking why the NHS is on its knees, it is not from spending pennies on food to feed mums who are trying their best to help to heal their poorly babies!
I am not a scrounger, was just looking for help in a very challenging situation.

YANBU

I have never heard of mothers, bottle or breastfeeding, not being fed.

Our hospital feeds mothers three meals a day plus tea and biscuits.

If you are having chemo as an outpatient you get fed.

I find this thread quite shocking.

I was in the same situation Mermaid with twins except I was also ffing. It was a nightmare for me too,why would somebody in the same unpleasant situation as yourself be any less deserving just because of what they were feeding their babies.

Sorry, I committed the sin of not reading all the thread and thought this was about a baby who has just been born.

In that case, my hospital won't feed you but you can have a meal for £1.00 if there is anything left after feeding the older children.

Read the whole thread, bigfam, stand by my original comment. Obviously I'm very sorry to hear of anyone's baby being unwell but you really can't expect to be fed as the mother of a patient. You just can't.

I despair. Last time I was in hospital I forgot my toothbrush. They gave me one and a sachet of toothpaste. That's medical care. It's not a hotel. It's hospital. They also supplied soap and hot water and food along with the scans and the surgery.

If the NHS crumbles it won't be because of that or the more important reason of feeding an infant patient through giving its mum the means to be able to breastfeed.

It'll be idiots saying: 'Well I never got it' while the people who are destroying it smile and nod

Unless the NHS suddenly starts turning a profit and feeling ng every resident parent, then its reasonable to draw a line on who is fed and who isn't.
I wykd expect a BF mom to be fed ahead of me as she is directly providing the nutrition to her child to help it heal and grow. I'm not. Yes I might have lived on the same ward for months, done his cares and medicines and feeds but he isn't taking anything from my body.

Its hard for any of us hospital parents to eat but the different from me having a shit diet to Rosie having one is the impact it has on the child.

All those saying just order take out, just leave them and pop into town or the local shops for food don't just demonstrate their ignorance on Rosie's situation but in general about what its like to be a hospital parent. Some days I had no one else around from 10pn til 6 pm so thank god we have a trolley on our ward (expensive and limited but there) and a fridge to store food in (so ready meals every night except Sunday takeaway!!). Its frigging expensive when you don't go home for weeks and months, living out of a suitcase on a pull out bed if you're lucky. Living on crap food and no sleep and wondering if there will be a day your child finally turns a corner. Holding then down and pinning them to a bed whilst doctors poke and prod and nurses take Obs every few hours and even the thermometer brings your child out in hysterics.

You don't have yo think Rosie deserves food and support but a little bloody empathy wouldn't hurt

Unfortunately the NHS is too stretched to do everything and we have to ration healthcare. All staff are on their knees and hard choices about where the money is spent has to be made my managers every day. I think most normal human beings would prefer for the money that is available to be spent on treating the patients, not feeding grown adults who can survive on shit food for a while with no real harm done.

If you don't want that NHS then do something about it, like don't vote for the fucking Tories.

I agree with op. My baby was readmitted at 5 days old to help establish feeding as she'd lost nearly 20% of her body weight. We were in for 3 days and they didn't even offer a glass of water. I couldn't leave my 5 day old on the ward on her own as I was constantly feeding or pumping, so I was totally reliant on my husband bringing food and drink in during visiting times. I may not have been the patient in the bed, but my tiny tiny baby was totally reliant on me, and I had to provide everything for myself. If I was a single parent I don't know what I'd have done!

I would expect the more needy to be fed ahead of me. Those babies who are critical as opposed to in for the routine,those whose mothers are in for a long period of time,those whose families are living with poverty,those who have no family nearby....

Sorry but breastfeeding doesn't trump all. Many can and should provide their own meals thus leaving spare cash for those who need it.

I think you also have to make every effort to sort yourself out though. for e.g. did you know many takeaway places deliver to hospitals. Often near hospitals there is a tesco metro or similar that can be walked to. I do understand the don't want to leave my child brigade but also it does not harm them to leave them in the care of professionals, you find an empathetic nurse and tell her you won't be in attendance for 30 minutes while you find food etc. My DD was in SCBU for 4 weeks part of which I was also an inmate and also in later on for a week on IV antiBs so whilst not desperately ill certainly hooked up etc. IN both cases I was able to leave her to forage. When I was ill as well I had to be on the medical ward for meals (although that was a whole other row with them) and also rounds. Going outside the hospital for supplies was easier in the smaller place but also possible at the much bigger one. For takeaway they take your mobile and meet you at main doors usually. I also primed visitors and made sure they came with healthy snacks so I could replace meals if I couldn't eat them as they were not suitable (hence the rows)

Having said that every children's ward I have ever been in has fed breast feeding mums if they have asked - yes after all patients fed but also gone out of their way to ensure drinks etc got to the Mum in question. I am afraid its the squeaky wheel.

Surely the whole point is that the bf mum is being fed as their baby isn't costing the NHS to be fed whereas a FF baby incurs the cost of formula.

I've also spent several weeks with twins as inpatients and as a bf mum was always fed and am shocked to hear that this is not always the case and that others think this ok. All formula is provided for ill ff babies so by bf you're saving the NHS money which can be spent on your dinner!

Also, any nurse or other visitor can ff a baby while you go out to get food but you can't level a young bf baby.

But a bf baby isn't feeding 24 hours a day so that's not really a valid argument

I think you also have to make every effort to sort yourself out though. for e.g. did you know many takeaway places deliver to hospitals.

Do you really RB68? How fascinating.

Alternatively you could say that though a decent Airbnb host leaves a few takeaway leaflets, the NHS should aspire to something a bit more than that.

I've been in hospital for 6 weeks at a time and luckily none of the staff expected me to be like Bear Grylls and forage for my food.

Dontbesillyhenry it certainly can feel like 24 hours when you've got two to feed, they're fed every two hours and you have to pump for 40 mins in between feeds to produce enough milk....

@NurseRosie I am sorry you have had such an upsetting time with your baby and I hope for a swift recovery. Sorry also you have had so many responses that have not taken into account an OP who is in hospital with a small baby: a truly upsetting experience. That is the problem with AIBU, rather than with MN as a whole, I think.

It is a while since my DS was a baby, but the nurses reacted with glee when they discovered I was a b/f ing Mum, and scurried to ensure that I was fed. If we arrived just after a meal time they would retrieve cold chips, carrots the size and texture of mangol worzels and proudly present them to me, urging me to eat.

My DS has had 15 operations, and it is good to get off the ward and seek food - but it is so expensive - and you don't always want to leave them. A sleeping baby in a cot, a dash out can sometimes be managed. But I never wanted to leave 5 year old, or 7 year old, or 9 year old DS in post-op pain, alone on the ward for very long. Hospitals are massive places - getting along the corridors, in and out of lifts etc, to a food outlet , then there is a queue....and your child is in pain.....and it takes a long time.

It's hard. Many aspects of having a child in hospital are hard. The noise, the lack of sleep,.... the worry, the need to be calm and re-assuring for your child, whist you are clenched with upset and worry inside.

Having something simple taken care of is a godsend.

When my dad needed emergency heart surgery at a hospital 150 miles away from his home and mine, I drove there and fed myself. I was able to bring some food and leave him for sufficient time to eat.

When my baby was admitted to the children's ward at 4 days and then again at 3 months, each time for a week, I had to stay with him. I made it to the restaurant once because I was in a constant cycle of waiting for tests, waiting for doctors, expressing milk... The restaurant was open for very restricted hours, and was a hike away too especially as I had had a section. The hospital was in the middle of the countryside so no Tesco metro or the like even if I could have hobbled there. The father? Self employed (so no handy paternity leave) and working to keep a roof over our heads. Yes he did bring food but could only get there after 8pm. And no, I didn't have anyone else to bring food to me as the hospital was a 2 hour round trip for any neighbours, accessible only by car and my only driving family member was still recovering from his heart surgery. I was so ill at one point that the staff tried to get me admitted but couldn't find a ward to have me. Luckily the hospital did offer BF women a child's portion but I was starving and couldn't believe that ff mums (or dads) would have been offered nothing. Being in hospital with a sick child is hard.