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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Hospital should feed breastfeeding mums?

548 replies

NurseRosie · 08/01/2017 12:26

AIBU to think that if your baby is in hospital and Mum is staying as fully breastfeeding, the ward should feed Mum? The NHS is not spending money feeding the baby as mummy us making the milk. Baby feeding sometimes 2 hourly and very clingy as unwell. Ward have only given tea and biscuits. Restaurant expensive and open funny times, for example baby upset over lunch yesterday so didn't get down until 2 and they'd stopped serving hopt food for the day. Do you think they should offer mum a meal?

OP posts:
Rinmybell · 08/01/2017 23:15

YANBU. My baby was in hospital last week and I had to stay with him for the duration and was given 3 meals a day (if I wanted) as was BF. Pretty lucky really as I couldn't leave him on the ward on his own and partner was working and looking after other child at home and we have no family nearby who could have brought in food.
I hope your baby has a speedy recovery and is home soon Flowers

SantasBigHelper · 08/01/2017 23:17

Daytona - I'm in Scotland too but didn't get fed. Maybe it's just on a hospital by hospital basis?

NurseRosie · 08/01/2017 23:23

Was just typing a rant back at all of the horrible and unreasonable trolls on this thread but not worth my time. Wow, dont prople jump to conclusions. Yes it is possible that your baby is so ill you only want to leave them for 5 minutes to pee, wash and brush your teeth. That baby is also so dependent on you to provide comfort, all of their nutrition and to do this the mother needs to be well fed, hydrated and living off of sandwiches just doesn't provide this, nor do the crisps and choc bars available when the canteen isnt serving. I tried to get nutritional food at the first possible time i could leave my baby but it clearly was lacking. Not everyone has people on tap who can just bring a picnic and to those asking about my family life, that is noyb and irrelevant to the point being made but eventually someone did bring me some food. All I wanted to know is if people think, in the circumstances of fully dependent baby admission, an ebf mum should be helped to eat decent food, whether free or not. Making the "waste" food from other wards available as I suggested would be reasonable and actually make money for the NHS. I've been on the ward and thrown away baking trays of food that hadn't actually been plated up.
For those kind enough to ask, my baby is a little better thank you. It has been an awful experience and we still have a long way to go but had a positive day today. Those experienced and reasonable were correct in saying I'm here 24 hours a day and baby can't be left on their own for most of the time due to infusions. The ward is often so busy staff just simply can't come and sit with my lo.

OP posts:
mummysherlock · 08/01/2017 23:23

When DS was admitted with bronchiolitis I was given free meals because I was bf, and the bottle feeding parents got free formula from the milk kitchen.
This was 2 years ago though so not sure if things have changed

SantasBigHelper · 08/01/2017 23:33

NurseRosie hope your wee one is better soon, and that you have a cosy restful night tonight.

X

Daisyfrumps · 08/01/2017 23:35

Glad your baby is a little better OP, and that you managed to get fed x

Spikeyball · 08/01/2017 23:37

Nutrition and not being able to leave a patient are different reasons. The latter equally applies to some other patients.

allowlsthinkalot · 08/01/2017 23:47

YANBU. They do feed breastfeeding mums in our NHS Trust. I assumed that was the case everywhere.

MommaGee · 09/01/2017 00:14

Glad to hear your LO is doing a bit better @Rosie. I think people just don't get or easily forget what it's like living 24/7 on a hospital ward. In the week I used to be with mine alone for 20 hours due to DP working. Nurses are amazing but their job is not holding my crying baby for 30 minutes whilst I pop to the shops for lunch.

Sending your LO hugs and you Flowers

UserOne · 09/01/2017 01:08

When mine was in SCBU, and I couldn't pick her up yet, they didn't even want to provide formula. I wanted to breastfeed, but couldn't for a day or two, so they gave her formula. When I went in they said I need to bring my own formula. I wasn't in a position to go to the shops to buy some, and was going to breast feed anyway, so I just didn't bring any formula and they begrudgingly carried on giving her formula til I was allowed to feed her myself.
After that, I'd be shocked if any hospitals fed the mother.

Peanutandphoenix · 09/01/2017 01:23

No they shouldn't have to feed you if you where at home would you expect the hospital to feed you no you wouldn't so why should they feed you in the hospital your not the patient your baby is feed your bloody self. It's the hospital not a restaurant.

BoopTheSnoot · 09/01/2017 01:37

At my local hospital, visitors who need to stay with patients are given a meal if there are any left over on the ward food trolley after inpatients have received theirs.
An exception is made for those who are staying with patients who are in their very last days of life. In these cases, three meals a day are provided by the hospital so that visitors don't have to leave their loved ones in order to eat if they don't want to.

Otherwise, visitors are responsible for feeding themselves. I think that this system is very fair.
I had a friend who's baby daughter was admitted to hospital, there was nothing left over on the trolley, she had no money and hadn't eaten since the day before. I ordered her a takeaway on Just Eat (paid by card) and had it delivered to the main entrance of the hospital, where my friend waited for the driver.
It's not always easy to function properly when someone you love is ill and in hospital, but ultimately if you aren't the patient, the NHS has no obligation to feed you. The patients are their responsibility, visitors are not.

MommaGee · 09/01/2017 01:48

Peanut here's some of the punctuation you forgot ... ,,,

Have you read any of the thread? Feeding yourself at home and feeding yourself is incomparable. Even if you don't think hospitals should provide free food, it doesn't take a lot to work out the two things are totally different.

OP is stuck in hospital 24/7, she's not a visitor she's feeding and providing cares for her tiny poorly baby. Not popping in for 30 minutes to chat about the weather

Raaaaaah · 09/01/2017 02:02

I got fed 3 meals a day when I was in with DD. I wasn't expecting to be so it was a bonus. I was enormously grateful as I was pumping ever two hours and couldn't leave DD as had no one else to stay with her. Not sure what I would have done otherwise. To be honest I think it should apply to anybody with a small baby/child who has to be with them. I see it as a bit of an essential. This is speaking as an NHS nurse who knows the financial pressures the NHS is under.

Raaaaaah · 09/01/2017 02:09

I also agree that if financially it isn't an option for the NHS to provide the food then there should be an option to pay. Honestly what should OP do if she isn't able to leave her baby/child? It would cost more for a member of staff to sit with her baby whilst she bought herself something than it would to provide the meal in the first place. When I worked in the hospital it took all of my break time just to queue up to buy the food.

Casschops · 09/01/2017 04:16

No, adults who are not admitted patients should not get fed. People need to do what they would be doing at home and get their own food. I would rather the money be spent on patient care. This would also be discriminatory against parents who choose not to or can't breast feed (such ascmalee carers, adoptive parents and foster carers etc). Such a sens of entitlement in the UK.

Casschops · 09/01/2017 04:18

Although this should be different for carers whose child cannot be left.

Scruffles · 09/01/2017 04:32

When my baby was admitted last year I got fed because I was breastfeeding. I'm still breastfeeding her and when my eldest was admitted a few months ago they fed me then too which I was surprised and very impressed about. I didn't realise it wasn't national policy.

Bigfam · 09/01/2017 06:17

I think some of the people come on here just to have a dig and don't even bother to read the original and subsequent posts, you should be ashamed of yourself for kicking someone when they're down, a new mum who's already emotional as hell with a baby that's poorly in hospital no less!

I'm not saying you shouldn't express your opinion, but there are better ways to go about it. Do these people just lurk on threads & jump on one where they think they can cause upset?!

HermioneWoozle · 09/01/2017 06:23

Such a sens of entitlement in the UK

This thread displays more of a sense of terrible unkindness and throwing people to the wolves than entitlement. We can't afford it. No room at the inn.

Kpo58 · 09/01/2017 06:32

Do people really think that it's cheaper for a nurse to look after a distressed baby/small child that is trying to escape/disturbing everyone else for at least half hour at a time, several times a day, whilst the parent finds food rather than the NHS to give a meal?

SantasBigHelper · 09/01/2017 07:15

The patients are their responsibility, visitors are not.

Here's the problem though - a breastfeeding mother of a baby in hospital is not a visitor as visitors can come and go.

She is not part of the staff as staff get breaks and a finish time.

But she is working 24-7.

She's nappy changer, bouncer, cuddler, jiggler, entertainer, singer, storyteller, bather.

She's forehead stroker and wannabe distractor of attention through upsetting, painful and invasive procedures.

She's advocate and decision maker, liaising with doctors, consenting to treatments, making difficult choices.

She's security guard - protecting her baby on a ward full of people with lots of comings and goings.

She's preventer of infection, sterilising pumping equipment and dummies, trying to watch that everyone who comes near the baby is washing hands, using alcohol gel.

And on top of all this her body is providing all the nutrition - as such she'll be trying to feed the baby as often as possible as sick babies need as much hydration and calories as you can get into them.

She'll very likely be stuck in a relentless cycle of pumping to allow either bottle or tube feeding as breastfeeding is not always considered adequate as the babies intake needs to be closely monitored. She'll also trying to breastfeed the baby in between pumps for comfort and reassurance and in an effort to stop the baby from forgetting how to feed from the breast. If the baby will take from a bottle rather than a feeding tube she'll also be heating and preparing bottles of milk for each feed.

This last part - the feeding pumping feeding pumping cycle is relentless + massively time consuming, it's crucial to the baby's recovery and it needs to fit in between all the other stuff. Her ability to produce milk will be affected by stress, exhaustion and bad nutrition.

Yet self care - eating, sleeping, washing naturally takes second place to the child's needs. There is just not time or opportunity to go out and forage for food whilst performing all these other roles.

Writerwannabe83 · 09/01/2017 07:47

The patients are their responsibility, visitors are not.

And so our responsibility to an EBF baby is to make sure it's receiving the best nutrition it can and that is by making sure the mother is eating and drinking properly. We ourselves can't provide nutrition to those babies in the way we can provide for FF babies and children on solids so it makes perfect, logical sense that we keep the mother, the only source of a BF baby's nourishment, as well as possible.

Writerwannabe83 · 09/01/2017 07:48

And I honestly can't believe parents are being referred to as visitors.

StarkintheSouth · 09/01/2017 07:53

I was offered 3 hot meals a day when I was in for 5 days giving birth to DD. My husband stayed with me the entire time and he occasionally got offered a brew but that's it. The food was vile but it was free. But I think that's fair dos if you're not the patient why should you get fed?

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