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AIBU?

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Original poster

Hospital should feed breastfeeding mums?

548 replies

NurseRosie · 08/01/2017 12:26

AIBU to think that if your baby is in hospital and Mum is staying as fully breastfeeding, the ward should feed Mum? The NHS is not spending money feeding the baby as mummy us making the milk. Baby feeding sometimes 2 hourly and very clingy as unwell. Ward have only given tea and biscuits. Restaurant expensive and open funny times, for example baby upset over lunch yesterday so didn't get down until 2 and they'd stopped serving hopt food for the day. Do you think they should offer mum a meal?

OP posts:
LuluLovesFruitcakes · 08/01/2017 16:12

I wonder if people like the Op would accept a charge for £5 a day to be able to order a meal to the ward with the meal deliveries?

This.

YABU OP.
The NHS is on its arse. My friend text me today from her shift in a hospital, they've got patients in beds in the bloody corridor and you're begrudging not getting a free meal? Unbelievable.

Namechangeemergency · 08/01/2017 16:12

No- you'd be feeding yourself and feeding your baby wherever you were

When my child was in hospital over a period of two years (on and off) I had to feed myself. I also had to feed her more often than not.

I can do that at home for pennies.
Whilst in hospital it could cost me upward of £20 a day.
That is if I could leave her long enough to buy something. (Parents are not just there to watch telly on the ward. Most of us do the essential care for our seriously ill children. The wards would not be able to function if we all fucked off for lunch)
If I was in a hospital that had any shops near it. (Many hospitals are not in central locations)
In a hospital with a cafe (did you know that UCH didn't have a working cafeteria for a couple of years after it opened?)
Had the money to buy food (I had to give up my job with no notice the day she was diagnosed).

I am still suffering the after affects of the diet I lived on when my DD was ill, 10 years after she died. I have IBS and am often sick. Whilst she was ill I lost several stone and became aneamic.

But yeah, its as simple as feeding your well kids when you are in your comfy home Hmm

Namechangeemergency · 08/01/2017 16:14

You just proved my point lulu

FFS you think its people like the op feeling 'entitled' to be fed that has bought the NHS to this point?

Don't be so fecking dim.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 08/01/2017 16:14

Yes it is. Especially when the kid is asleep for hours

Ive twice had to sign an agreement stating that I will not leave my DD without parental care on the ward and only one parent at a time outside of visiting hours is allowed

LuluLovesFruitcakes · 08/01/2017 16:14

Absolutely not - but I don't think they help an already desperate situation Hmm

PolarBearGoingSomewhere · 08/01/2017 16:17

When I was BF DD3, she developed a virus and was admitted to hospital for 5 days. I am very grateful, in hindsight, that I was fed as it gave me one less thing to worry about and frankly, if I'd had to leave her to go and get food, I simply would have gone without. After all, when I rushed her in to hospital, I didn't have time to make a pack up!

It made a huge difference that I could be with her 24/7 (I actually think the way the child is fed is pretty much irrelevant in this instance, although accept the argument that a BF mother needs to be fed and watered to produce milk for the patient, her baby) and should be considered part of holistic care - supporting children and their families. I understand there isn't a bottomless pot of money so perhaps a "pay what you can afford" system would be best.

Sirzy · 08/01/2017 16:17

It's not simple for ANY parent of a child in hospital to get food. How the child is fed doesn't actually change that.

I, and plenty of others on this thread, have spent extended periods of time in hospital but still wouldn't expect to be fed. You make do with what you can get.

One thing I always find when ds is in hospital is how helpful parents are and will grab a butty for someone else or whatever. On ds last admission a dad was going into a local town to do some errands so took a list with him of orders for parents from a bakery while there!

thecatsarecrazy · 08/01/2017 16:23

I got very little food when I had d.s nearly 8 years ago. Dh got me a sandwich and crisps and the soggy mars bar in my bag tasted Devine because I was so hungry Grin. Be making sure I have lots next time.

Namechangeemergency · 08/01/2017 16:24

You make do with what you can get.

And what if you can't get anything?

Seriously. I had no one to bring me food and I couldn't leave DD for days on end.
There were plenty of parents on the ward worse off than me. Some had nothing and even less support than me.

I really hate the way these threads see parents who need help and compassion and entitled and grabby.

If you have spent that much time with your child on a ward you will be aware that you are vital part of their care. A lot is expected of parents in modern pediatric medicine but they are too often treated as a nuisance.
I doubt many parents would chose to eat hospital food if they had the option of a nice takeaway or home cooked food. Most dont mind winging it for a few days.

But life is not like that for every parent. We feed our parents and we provide them with the means to feed themselves too.
We receive no government funding at all yet we still manage to treat parents with compassion and recognise their worth.

I wouldn't work for a facility that expected parents of very sick children to just grab what they could whilst looking after their children.

Fallonjamie · 08/01/2017 16:25

I work in a very small corner of the NHS which is lacking funding but doing a lot better than other areas.

What I am constantly told in commissioning meetings is that 'best practice' is the gold-standard and that they want to fund a lesser service. And that NICE guidelines are 'just guidelines'.

BooeyBaubleHead · 08/01/2017 16:25

I had my baby 2 weeks ago. I was provided with formula for baby and I was fed 3 meals a day, which were brought to my bed. I was also provided with food while in labor. Depends on the hospital it seems...

Benedikte2 · 08/01/2017 16:28

While people are being scathing about the OPs statement that be mothers should be fed, being sarcastic and unpleasant about anyone other than patients being fed and alleging that the NHS is on its knees because of the use of money for such things they are missing the point that the NHS is failing because of a lack of political will to adequately fund it. Other Eurpean counties where treatment rates for cancer etc are better than in the UK fund their health systems at a higher rate per head of population than does the UK. Most of the misuse of tax money is elsewhere plus the tax system needs to be reformed.

BarbarianMum · 08/01/2017 16:30

Well said namechange
Personally I would have been happy to pay for food, my problem was that I couldn't leave my child to get to it. However for others the cost of feeding yourself whilst caring for a sick child is prohibitive. And especially so if you are poorer and unsupported in the first place. But hey, single mums on benefits, they need a good kick whilst they're down, don't they?

lorelairoryemily · 08/01/2017 16:34

They do In Ireland, breastfeeding mothers get fed if their baby is in hospital

Daisyfrumps · 08/01/2017 16:35

What I am constantly told in commissioning meetings is that 'best practice' is the gold-standard and that they want to fund a lesser service. And that NICE guidelines are 'just guidelines'.

How depressing. The funding / running of the NHS is woeful. Guidelines are based on research and clinical evidence. Stuff that we know helps to treat and heal patients, and promotes public health. By not being able to fund care that is evidence-based, what's the point?!

My postnatal ward midwife colleagues tell me it's constant fire-fighting on the ward. They're happy if nobody dies on their shift and they'd love to be able to spend more time with women wanting to establish breastfeeding, those who need a hug and a chat, and those who need their breakfast fetching for them...

We need more staff.

UnbornMortificado · 08/01/2017 16:41

At least with neonatal I could leave DD, I imagine with older children they need more care and reassurance.

SIL got fed when DN1 was on the children's ward and she was 8 months pregnant.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 08/01/2017 16:49

I was fed when My son went back into hospital at two weeks old five years ago. I was feeding every four hours as he was failure to thrive as formula feeding as a top up and to be fair I was a walking zombie and my hubby was working nights so was asleep through most of the day so if they hadn't fed me I would have lived off snacks.
Which would have been okay as only short time visit but I think it would have affected breastfeeding and his nutrition if I hadn't been fed and longer term.

maddiemookins16mum · 08/01/2017 16:53

Times have changed. The NHS is struggling. Every penny counts and although YANBU, it's something you need to take care of yourself.

riddles26 · 08/01/2017 16:55

The hospital I work at provides food for all breastfeeding mums. It is from the children's menu but it still provides parents with nutrition. Formula is provided for babies who need it for a medical reason.

Those of you who think it should not be provided have clearly never had a child in hospital before. Leaving the ward is extremely difficult - children do not have 1-2-1 nursing care that someone can attend to their cries when mum pops out to get food. The cost is also prohibitively expensive - the hospital cafeteria is upwards of £6 per meal and it is well known that all external shops such as WH Smith and M&S in hospitals charge much higher prices. Feeding myself at home rarely costs more than £1/meal.

As for overstretched NHS, as an employee, I can list thousands of things which are a waste of money and fall much higher on the cuts list than providing a simple meal for breastfeeding mothers (which only costs the hospital pennies). Not providing Calpol and Nurofen free of charge being one of them!

crashdoll · 08/01/2017 16:55

I have every sympathy with the OP and any person is caring for their loved in while in hospital. I don't see why some people on this thread are not realising that the issues the OP faces are not unique to breastfeeding mothers.

dontbesillyhenry · 08/01/2017 16:56

Booey this thread is about whether mums who are in with their baby admitted as the patient are fed

Catlady1976 · 08/01/2017 16:56

When Dd3 was readmitted on day 5 it was due to a serious drop in birthright. I was on my own with no money. Dh went home before we were moved to neonatal ward and never returned as he had to look after older DC and one had a coldsore so couldn't visit.
I was fed almost immediately after arrival with a children's packed lunch. Tbh I couldn't face it as I was so worried for Dd3.
In this situation should I have been left to go hungry. I already wasn't producing enough milk.
Thankfully the neonatal unit had a policy of feeding me and providing formula for formula fed babies and formula for my Dd too.

Catlady1976 · 08/01/2017 16:57

Birthweight. Auto-correct.

Catlady1976 · 08/01/2017 16:59

Hope your baby is OK op.

Hoppinggreen · 08/01/2017 17:03

When my DD was 3 she was admitted for 2 days after an asthma attack. DH was away and my mum was on holiday. There was a place I could make toast but DD was terrified and I could hardly even leave her to go to the loo without hysterics. Luckily a friend dropped some snacks off for me but I was so hungry I ended my with a migraine.
It was crap but I appreciated the care DD was getting and in many countries food isn't even provided for patients let alone family.

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