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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I wrong to push past or were they wrong to block me?

85 replies

IceMap · 08/01/2017 09:39

Trying to get across a busy train station to make a connecting service. A few others rushing, most meandering very slowly.

In London there seems to be an unspoken rule that you stand/walk to one side so people in a hurry can get past- perfect! Everywhere else people seem oblivious to others in a rush. Almost as though it's not done to hurry. At this station I got stuck behind numerous people drifting slowly while chatting, daydreaming/playing with phones, lugging suitcases 3-abreast etc. I had 4 minutes to get to my platform so called out 'excuse me can I squeeze past' repeatedly as I nudged forward into gaps. Some made way but many just glared and one woman deliberately blocked me, moving in front of me with her wheely-suitcase every time I tried to dodge round Confused She then took forever to find her ticket at the barrier while I was stuck behind her!

What's the etiquette here? Do people think you're queue jumping if you don't stick to the pace of the majority?

OP posts:
NormaSmuff · 08/01/2017 09:40

no you are not queue jumping if you have a train in 4 minutes.

NormaSmuff · 08/01/2017 09:45

No such thing as etiquette imo, every man for himself, just Say Excuse Me

LindyHemming · 08/01/2017 09:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fiorentina · 08/01/2017 10:06

Just go for it, running for a train is where you have to look after number 1, obviously trying hard not to knock others flying..

Trifleorbust · 08/01/2017 10:09

It depends on the situation - in a normal situation you shouldn't be pushing people out of the way to get on your train. It's up to you to leave enough time, including the likelihood that there will be other people at the station. Someone else walking at a normal pace isn't an excuse to barge them out of the way in my view.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 08/01/2017 10:09

In London it's elbows out, steely glare, fast pace, every woman for herself

I once demonstrated this to DD in the middle of Glasgow, much to her embarrassment, prior to her first trip to London. Boy was she glad when we got to London though!

Agreed! Grin I went to London to visit family for the first time in decades with the DCs. As we got off the tube. My aunt said to me "right - hubby and I will grab DCs. Away keep up with us". I thought they were joking and was left trailing behind like an idiot trying desperately to keep up 😂

CantChoose · 08/01/2017 10:13

Are you a Londoner or just visiting? I think the woman was being unreasonable. The only thing that strikes me is that I don't think I've heard people say 'excuse me' much, especially not in a loud voice with an expectation anyone will actually move Grin (not that I'm saying that's what you did)
It's more like euphemia says, everyone for themselves.
Perhaps she thought you were trying to make a point and 'tell her off' by doing it and it got her back up. Still no excuse for her behaviour though.

SarahOoo · 08/01/2017 10:14

A tip someone gave me (& I commute in London!) look down as you walk through crowds, they'll think you're not really looking so get out of your way. It works!

SpuriouserAndSpuriouser · 08/01/2017 10:16

She then took forever to find her ticket at the barrier while I was stuck behind her

I can feel my blood pressure rising just reading this! YADNBU, she was being an arse.

53rdAndBird · 08/01/2017 10:17

YANBU, and people who faff at ticket barriers are a plague upon this land.

SharkBastard · 08/01/2017 10:18

YANBU, it's do or die!

alltouchedout · 08/01/2017 10:18

Idk, you had to catch a train and presumably had a tight connection so couldn't have got there any earlier to ensure you had more than 4 minutes to get to your platform, so your pushing past makes sense. On the other hand, as you point out, the London busy busy rush rush commuters are king woe betide anyonee who isn't either similarly racing along or carefully keeping out of the way.of those who are just isn't the.norm in most places, as you acknowledge, so it makes sense for the people you were pushing past to think your behaviour was a bit off. I don't think either you or them were BU.

rookiemere · 08/01/2017 10:19

YANBU.
I did the same thing on a crowded street in Edinburgh when I saw my bus pulling up to the stop in front.

Everyone should have consideration for others and that includes ensuring that the street/station walkway is not entirely blocked by your party and their belongings so that people in a rush can get to their destination.

mambono5 · 08/01/2017 10:20

Everybody should be polite, so you shouldn't litterally push them out of the way, but they should get out of the way, and have their bloody tickets ready before arriving at the barrier

It's not queue jumping when you are rushing to catch your train. It's up to you to leave enough time I take it you are not a commuter, with commitments at work, delayed tube, diabolical trains cancelled/on strike.

It's common sense to get out of the way in a station or an airport. If you want to have a leisurely stroll, let other people go through. I would have pushed past that woman, or at least given her a mouthful for blocking the barrier. She was rude, obnoxious, swearing is inappropriate but when you are a commuter pushed to the limit with overcrowded trains and nightmares journeys, the hell with it. My 12 always-packed 12 carriages trains have mostly been cancelled and replaced with 4 carriage-trains. People were screaming and crying in the train I took in London Bridge last week. No one is in the mood for morons delaying them I am afraid.

blankpieceofpaper · 08/01/2017 10:21

My mum is partially disabled and walks with a stick and very slowly. Sometimes I have her arm to help her, sometimes not. So that makes us both slow and wide - and sometimes her stick isn't there so it's just me.

Some people walk slowly with good reason. Sorry we/they are getting in the way. She very much wishes she could walk faster. Please be considerate to those who have no other choice. They have just as much right to be making their way along the platform.

Lweji · 08/01/2017 10:22

They were arses.

Of course you keep to the side of the barriers if you don't have the ticket in your hand.
But then I lived 15 years in London. Smile

wineoclockthanks · 08/01/2017 10:22

SarahOO
Shhh don't tell everyone, that's my secret tip, if everyone does it chaos will ensue as we all walk into each other Grin

Trifleorbust · 08/01/2017 10:22

mambono5: I've commuted on some of the busiest routes in London - Central line into the City, Waterloo, District line etc. I had to take into account the fact that there would be other people lining my route and they were there first.

NormaSmuff · 08/01/2017 10:23

op are you sure she was deliberately moving in front of you though?

lovelearning · 08/01/2017 10:23

called out 'excuse me can I squeeze past' repeatedly

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me

mambono5 · 08/01/2017 10:23
  • Blush I can't even write properly, but commuting is awful and people deliberately making others miss their trains by blocking barriers or stairs should be slapped. I never slap people but I would love to if I miss my train because of them
NormaSmuff · 08/01/2017 10:25

it is the same Driving in london,

every man for himself. he who delays is lost.

Lweji · 08/01/2017 10:25

Btw, I don't have the least problem with slow people. It's with slow people who wander about aimlessly in a busy commuter area, suddenly blocking me because I have no way of predicting where they'll go next.
Just bloody stay quiet or at least check it's ok for you to suddenly turn left.

rookiemere · 08/01/2017 10:27

I know that when I'm not in a rush - so if I can I leave a lot of time to get to the station - then I am automatically aware of others who appear to be in more of a rush and would get out of their way to allow them quicker access.

However sometimes if travelling for work and returning, then I have less time to spare. It would be lovely if others could extend the same courtesy that I do to them, when not in a rush.

mambono5 · 08/01/2017 10:27

blankpieceofpaper

I have absolutely nothing against people who are slow, just don't block others! It's the same on the escalator, stand still on the side if you wish, don't block people who are running because they are in a rush.

The worst offenders are the ones texting, who can't walk in a straight line and go at the pace of a snail. (I have seen quite a few getting shoved out of the way. Not by me) Go on the side!