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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was I wrong to push past or were they wrong to block me?

85 replies

IceMap · 08/01/2017 09:39

Trying to get across a busy train station to make a connecting service. A few others rushing, most meandering very slowly.

In London there seems to be an unspoken rule that you stand/walk to one side so people in a hurry can get past- perfect! Everywhere else people seem oblivious to others in a rush. Almost as though it's not done to hurry. At this station I got stuck behind numerous people drifting slowly while chatting, daydreaming/playing with phones, lugging suitcases 3-abreast etc. I had 4 minutes to get to my platform so called out 'excuse me can I squeeze past' repeatedly as I nudged forward into gaps. Some made way but many just glared and one woman deliberately blocked me, moving in front of me with her wheely-suitcase every time I tried to dodge round She then took forever to find her ticket at the barrier while I was stuck behind her!

What's the etiquette here? Do people think you're queue jumping if you don't stick to the pace of the majority?

OP posts:

Lweji · 08/01/2017 10:29

SarahOO

I do that driving. I mean, pretend not to look to the driver on any side. It's a sign of weakness.

Trills · 08/01/2017 10:32

YANBU to dodge in and out and squeeze past people while saying "excuse me".

One of my pet hates is people with tiny wheeled suitcases that they drag about 5 feet behind themselves, without paying attention to where it is. Keep it nearer your body so you have better control of it and dn't swing round in an ankle-bashing arc when you change direction.

SarahOoo · 08/01/2017 10:36

wineoclockthanks haha it's genius! I have to also commute in the middle of the day as well as rush hour and tourists, bless their cotton socks, don't know the 'rules'. I do get asked for directions a lot and I love it! I think it could be my true calling!

I'm actually one of the slow ones these days as I'm 6 months pregnant....thank goodness for the Baby On Board badge!

BeautifulRedBoots · 08/01/2017 10:38

I am a train driver. I frequently have to try to wriggle my way through the commuters I have just brought in to very busy London terminus as I have three minutes to get to the other end of the train to drive the other way. Because I am short and "don't look like a train driver" (why knows what I am supposed to look like) I sometimes have people block my way and complain that I am queue jumping. Bear in mind that this is actually beside the train. They could get onto the train at any point. Nothing I do is actually having any impact on them (well, other than my effort to enable the train to leave on time, rather than leaving late because the driver is still only half way up the platform). Unfortunately, the nature of busy transport services means that the mentality for commuters has to be 'every man for himself' so of course that can colour their view of everyone else.

MrsTrentReznor · 08/01/2017 10:39

YANBU. People need to be more aware of their surroundings!
It is dog eat dog on the underground in London. I accepted that when I was on crutches!
I'm bloody ruthless, unless you are obviously struggling. Then I give wide berth and help if there's stairs etc.
If you faff at the ticket barrier I will sidestep in front of you. (I even did this on crutches!! people fartarseing about with luggage at the wide barrier are slower than me with a broken ankle it seems!)
Regarding the moving through crowds at speed, I personally prefer the "middle distance" stare to the floor stare. Works for me!
Plus, driving... I drive in London love, if you think you can intimidate me with a skip lorry in bloody Hertfordshire you are fucking mistaken!

Alonglongway · 08/01/2017 10:41

Londoner here. Moved house last year so I now go through Waterloo rather than London Bridge.

London Bridge is hell because of the building programme and the wonder that is Southern Rail, but generally used by commuters all rushing and quite good about giving space. Waterloo completely different - far more mixed demographic of passengers. Lots of people walking slowly along the gate line, lots of streams of people all crossing each other. Really frustrating getting across the concourse. I don't live far out and there are loads of trains so now I always go for the next one, don't bother rushing. Suspect that's a luxury though

Wdigin2this · 08/01/2017 10:43

You had 4 minutes to catch your connection, others who were hurrying along, also had little time. Presumably, the dawdlers, phone users, chatters and daydreamers, had all the time in the world. The woman who deliberately blocked you, was rude inconsiderate, and probably lives in a world where her need and desires come above us ordinary mortals, who have to scuttle around from one destination to the next!
It's a no brainier my dear....next time you're in that situation, put your head down, mutter excuse me and sorry a few times.....then barge on through.
Hope you caught your connecting train!

MostIneptThatEverStepped · 08/01/2017 10:46

Totally agree about Waterloo, so glad it's not my normal commute station. Huge crowds of people on completely random trajectories, it's the most frustrating place to try and walk through at speed!

DailyFail1 · 08/01/2017 10:48

I usually go straight to the barrier manned by a person in this situation and will push past anyone dawdling by raising my ticket high so the inspector can see mine first. I would also have made a comment that I had a train to catch and if the woman didn't want to pay for my connecting journey she had better give me room now.

Lorelei76 · 08/01/2017 10:48

You were fine
It works all ways, there are times you have to call out to pass texters and dawdlers, there are times you help create space by a person with stick of crutches so they have more protection
I've been on crutches in it too and I would still have said FFS to the woman deliberately stopping you
I have also lectured people who stop suddenly at the bottom of escalators, surely common sense dictates they risk causing a pile up.

OhWotIsItThisTime · 08/01/2017 10:49

I once had to dash home as ds was on his way to a&e (ordered by 111). I shaved a third of the journey time off, pegging it across London.

I have no idea how I did that, as I'm pretty nippy already. But can only apologise to the poor sods I must have nudged out of the way.

MatildaTheCat · 08/01/2017 10:51

I am also slow and walk with a stick but am very aware that people behind me may not wish to walk at my pace so that's no excuse at all for blocking the way. YANBU and as long as you don't barge through routinely and for no reason you have no problem.

Cherrysoup · 08/01/2017 10:51

Yanbu. Whilst on crutches, trying to hobble between Kings Cross and Euston, which isn't worth a taxi ride, people were practically stood nose to nose to me. I couldn't dodge, they could. It was not pretty.

When we drive in London, the DH goes into 'London driving mode' I've defnsive driving, not hanging back at traffic lights, it's definitely a lot faster paced.

MrsTrentReznor · 08/01/2017 10:57

Cherry same here! I couldn't believe the people that got into Mexican standoffs with me in connection tunnels!
Like I can jump out of the way!
I always kept tight to the left to allow the faster people space too.

nebulae · 08/01/2017 10:58

I went on the tube for the first time a couple of years ago. It was a last minute trip so no time to plan anything. I had no idea what I was doing, where I should be going etc. I'd had a horrible day, was very anxious and not a little bit scared/overwhelmed by the whole thing. I had no idea I wasn't supposed to stand on the left on the escalator. Until someone physically pushed me over to the right. Didn't bother to ask me to move or explain why. Didn't even speak to me. Just pushed me out of the way. That just about finished me off. Please consider what the person in your way might be going through.

RhiWrites · 08/01/2017 10:59

I stepped on some idiot's heals a couple of weeks back when he stopped dead at the bottom of a bloody escalator. Then he turned round to glare at me, still standing still. Some of these people are dangerous when they block the way.

Suitcase lady was probably trying to make a point about rushing which just doesn't apply at a busy station.

RhiWrites · 08/01/2017 11:00

Nebula, I'm sorry you felt overwhelmed - but how did you miss the signs every minute saying "please stand on the left"? You have to be aware of your surroundings.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 08/01/2017 11:02

YANBU! The worst are the people who get off the bus or tram then stand in front of the door while they look at their phone or rummage in their bag preventing anyone else from getting on. Why do they do that!?

MrsTrentReznor · 08/01/2017 11:03

Rhi I didn't want to be the one to point that out!

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/01/2017 11:04

Totally normal. I used to live 30ish miles from Paris and went there 3 or 4 times a week. I had to peg it across Paris to get my train on the return journey otherwise hang around and wait another hour for the next train. Just ignore the idiots.

Lweji · 08/01/2017 11:05

nebulae

Sorry for your experience. Really. I'd wait until the person moves or ask them to.
They were arses to shove you.

However, if you see all the standing people on the right and people walking up on the left, then it makes sense to move to the right.
That's what it means to be aware of your surroundings.

OTOH, if you were standing on the left and you were the only person on the escalator or there was space to your right, they could have easily walked past you. So, no need even to ask you to move, let alone shove you.

Kai1977 · 08/01/2017 11:07

I think it's important to make it clear that you will miss your train if you can't get past.

Otherwise, if I was one of those people who was also trying to get through but waiting for the slower people, I would think, 'Erm we're all trying to get out of here, just be patient/wake up a bit earlier/organise yourself better.'

If however, the woman definitely knew you were about to miss that train, and deliberately made you late, that is a different matter.

All that said, there are too many gormless people in London who don't seem to have the common sense/consideration to wait to the side rather than stopping in the middle saying goodbye to loved ones/finding train tickets etc etc.

nebulae · 08/01/2017 11:07

RhiWhites I was trying to hold myself together in a very stressful situation, I didn't even know if I was going in the right direction. So yes, in an ideal world I'd have noticed the signs but I didn't. If the person who pushed me had pointed out my mistake I'd have happily apologised and got out of the way. The fact that there's a sign advising people to stand on the left doesn't mean you can abandon any semblance of manners if they don't.

I don't think people who use the tube regularly have any idea how scary it can be for others.

RachelRagged · 08/01/2017 11:11

Oh getting her ticket out taking an age . .I hear you

On the buses at times its crazy . People have been waiting for a bus then it comes along , and on they get, then have to dig it out a bag .. Why ? I realise not all people are the same but my oyster comes out my bag and into my secure pocket whilst at bus stop .

Hope you got your train in the end OP

HardcoreLadyType · 08/01/2017 11:11

it is the same Driving in london ... every man for himself. he who delays is lost.

Not in my experience. Yes, you have to be a bit assertive, but I find people will let you in to a lane of traffic more readily than anywhere else I have driven in the country. Of course, there are arsehole drivers in London, just as there are anywhere else.

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