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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to worry that DD's chosen career can only earn a maximum of £27,000??

305 replies

soups1 · 08/01/2017 09:35

dd is clever. she has 3 a-levels in maths, psychology and law. She has a lot of potential for many areas. They are not amazing a-level grades, so uni is possible but maybe having to do 4 years or just a local uni, but there are lots of jobs she could do with those a-levels and go on to earn well.

She has decided she wants to do embalming/funeral work. I don't have an issue with the chosen career (although i don't get it!) but it doesn't pay well. A maximum of 27,000 and that is a lot of graduates starter money! she is hoping to go on an embalmer 2 year course soon and a lot of the time they can get jobs through there, as people contact that school and ask for people who are finishing. i am just worried about her choice.

aibu? 27000 forever isnt that much

OP posts:
BarbaraofSeville · 08/01/2017 10:57

The OPs DD isn't necessarily going to be the lower earner anyway. What if her partner is a teaching or care assistant, nursery worker or works in an office or retail? Many millions of people earn NMW or less than £20k even in Essex

BarbaraofSeville · 08/01/2017 11:00

People keep talking about meeting bereaved relatives. Like Ether says, that's not the job of an embalmer, that's a funeral director or assistant of some kind.

Unless she works for a small family firm a la Six Feet Under, the embalmer will only embalm, not arrange funerals etc.

KindergartenKop · 08/01/2017 11:01

There's always work for an embalmer!
She might want to set up her own business, there's loads of scope. She's helping people (the bereaved), you should be proud of her.

C8H10N4O2 · 08/01/2017 11:01

I think some posters are missing that 27k is the max salary available not a starter and in Essex that doesn't go far if you want to support a young family and work (which is one of my measures irrespective of sex).

However its not a lousy salary either and it is a constant demand sector which like most personal services is likely to stay personal after many other white collar jobs are automated.

Encourage her to try and get work experience in the area or treat it as a starter job. A year down the line she may hate it and want to go to uni, she may love it and see a raft of career options in it.

My understanding of this sector is that to make money you need to run or franchise your own business so down the line she may want to do a part time business admin degree.

Middling degrees from middling universities are no guarantee of high salaries and in my view don't justify the high debt levels.

High starting salaries outside of London tend to be with the big corporates recruiting grads with 2.1 or higher degrees from preferred Universities and minimum of 2As and a B at A level.

MargaretCavendish · 08/01/2017 11:01

I just think that this obsession with childcare is bonkers - as if women are just pre-mummies. If you don't think it's enough to live off then fine (but Essex is full of people earning that much and doing fine outside of the bits that are very easy commuting to London), but why make her salary all about some babies that she may or may not decide to have in about a decade's time?

ticklingafoot · 08/01/2017 11:02

Sounds like she'll have good job security and will be happy. That's all I hope for my daughters and their careers/jobs.

ticklingafoot · 08/01/2017 11:02

Sounds like she'll have good job security and will be happy. That's all I hope for my daughters and their careers/jobs.

ticklingafoot · 08/01/2017 11:02

Sounds like she'll have good job security and will be happy. That's all I hope for my daughters and their careers/jobs.

Freeatlast2017 · 08/01/2017 11:03

As she is still so young she might try it and decide it's not for her.

I wouldn't worry too much about the salary as she could set up her own business in the future if she was that way inclined. However I know a funeral director who loves the work but finds it very stressful and the hours can be anti-social. She is on a rota for working Christmas and new year for example. She is considering giving it up as the hours are not family friendly.

I do look at solicitor friends of mine who are rolling in it and I sometimes think if I had another life I would do something like law where I had the potential to earn a lot more than I can in my profession.

ticklingafoot · 08/01/2017 11:03

get her to watch the Autopsy of Jane Doe!!

cornflowerblu · 08/01/2017 11:04

It's a wonderful thing for her to do but yes I would also have concerns about her working in a job where £27k is the most she can earn, it's not a high salary. However, nothing is for ever and she can move into other jobs in future if she finds that it's too low paid for her

ScarlettO89 · 08/01/2017 11:06

DailyFail1 Most graduates won't earn £27k. Only the top ones (with a 1st and 2:1) based in London/Birmingham/Manchester may ever top that in their career

Well that's just not true! I'm in the Home Counties granted, with an ordinary degree and I'm on 28k at 27y/o. I certainly will progress from here. 27k is an average and liveable salary in many parts of the country but for others it's simply not very much at all.

ZouBisou · 08/01/2017 11:13

Is she a fan of Six Feet Under? She should definitely watch that series if she hasn't already seen it.

How important are the finer things in life to your daughter? Do you think she is the type to want nice holidays, to buy the best brands, enjoy life's little luxuries? I think if so it's worth looking with her in detail at what a 27000 take-home salary would actually be like, what the likely monthly outgoings would be etc.

On the other hand, it's a job you could presumably do anywhere in the world/country, family-friendly, presumably not hyper competitive to get into.

And there is no harm in her going down this path for now and then retraining for something else later if she wants. I'm about to retrain at the age of 33, partly because I have hit a similar salary ceiling as you describe, but I have still really enjoyed the last 10 years, had a good life, not struggled for money and don't regret anything.

PurpleMinionMummy · 08/01/2017 11:14

What's wrong with a max wage of 27k? Surely being happy in your job is priceless when you have to go there for the majority of your day, almost every day, probably forever the rate we're going!

dailymaillazyjournos · 08/01/2017 11:14

I think as long as she can get some work experience in an undertakers and is able to physically and mentally deal with a dead body (in all sorts of states.) As PPs have said it's one thing seeing them on horror movies but quiet another poking about in an actual person.

If she can then I'd say go for it. It's a proper vocation that's needed and these days that is very important. A lot of jobs will be irrelevant due to advances in technology. The job I did in my youth no longer exists thanks to computerisation.

DD is a special needs teacher. Financially she would be ok if she didn't live in London. She moved their with her DH. Her pay doesn't equal what it would cost to send DGD to nursery annually. I think that would be similar for your DD is she lived there and had children in the future. But in other parts of the country that would be do-able I'm sure.

It's so wonderful if you have a job you like. So many people don't and are there for so many hours a week. My eldest brother was a music teacher (now semi retired) and his career has been satisfying and enjoyable. He has never been one to chase the money. I'd totally encourage DD to train as an embalmer as long as she really understands and is able to do, what the job involves.

Headofthehive55 · 08/01/2017 11:16

I actually think it is very sensible to think of the future re possible children. I was encouraged into a career where i was not able to go part time. I knew, early doors I wanted children and crucially I wanted to be the one that got to stay at home. I ended up leaving work and having to retrain to enable me to work, part time, and retain independence.

AlecTrevelyan006 · 08/01/2017 11:17

One of my brothers is an undertaker - he manages two funeral parlours. I don't know exactly how much he earns but it's certainly more than £27k. He did embalming previously and has done various other courses and pretty much all the associated roles involved in being an undertaker.

Just like any job it's not for everyone but he finds it rewarding and I know that he takes great pride in providing a professional and understanding service.

OhTheRoses · 08/01/2017 11:23

I can imagine there's a great deal of job satisfaction in a role where you don't have to justify yourself to a client who can't answer back and who doesn't need managing.

DailyFail1 · 08/01/2017 11:25

ScarlettO89 The home counties are within easily commutable distance of London and Birmingham which is why you earn more than 27k. Most jobs in the HC require commuting so the job candidate pool will have London commuters who generally demand higher salaries- so even jobs that don't need commuting will pay more. Have also found in the HC that the higher you progress the more travelling you're expected to do.

cornflowerblu · 08/01/2017 11:26

I'm not sure that's true. Most professional jobs regardless of where they are located are not capped at £27k. I don't think being a grad is an open door to a good job but good a levels in an academic degree from a decent university really does help. A random degree from a second tier uni unfortunately may not open the opportunities so easily and that's when one needs to decide if it's worth going to uni.

TheLivingAsheth · 08/01/2017 11:28

Just to add to the it's not all about money.
I am doing the job I always wanted to do. It is very badly paid, and on top of this I do it on a freelance basis. I have an Oxbridge degree and went to a grammar school, most of my friends are earning much, much more than me.

But whenever I occasionally reflect on how much I could be earning in a different job I remind myself that I enjoy what I do, I am able to spend a great deal of time with my children, and I would vastly prefer that to earning a lot in a job I find stressful, don't enjoy and which takes up too much of my time. It is about priorities.

DailyFail1 · 08/01/2017 11:30

I just rang a Funeral Director near to my work for you as I was curious - they say they'd pay £30k-50k for a contract enbalmer with the right skills and experience who also had admin skill. So the salary guidelines probably only apply to permanent jobs.

badtasteflump · 08/01/2017 11:35

Just wanted to add my voice to the opinion that it's definitely not all about the money.

Study after study has shown that being rich doesn't make you happy, whereas doing something with your time that's meaningful to you does.

Your DD is bright, happy and keen to try something she loves the idea of. What's the worst that could happen? She tries it and changes her mind then tries something else? She's young and free of responsibilities, so now is the time to try these things out - however unusual they may seem!

I saw the thread about jobs you would discourage your DC to try and I'd never read such a lot of materialistic and unrealistic bollocks to be frank.

BadKnee · 08/01/2017 11:36

Ex uni acquaintance of mine did this. Set up his own firm and is now hugely rich.

BeanAnTi · 08/01/2017 11:37

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