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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to worry that DD's chosen career can only earn a maximum of £27,000??

305 replies

soups1 · 08/01/2017 09:35

dd is clever. she has 3 a-levels in maths, psychology and law. She has a lot of potential for many areas. They are not amazing a-level grades, so uni is possible but maybe having to do 4 years or just a local uni, but there are lots of jobs she could do with those a-levels and go on to earn well.

She has decided she wants to do embalming/funeral work. I don't have an issue with the chosen career (although i don't get it!) but it doesn't pay well. A maximum of 27,000 and that is a lot of graduates starter money! she is hoping to go on an embalmer 2 year course soon and a lot of the time they can get jobs through there, as people contact that school and ask for people who are finishing. i am just worried about her choice.

aibu? 27000 forever isnt that much

OP posts:
APlaceOnTheCouch · 08/01/2017 09:50

I'm not sure that maximum is correct. A friend's DP works in this field and I'm sure they have mentioned salaries over £40k.

BarbaraofSeville · 08/01/2017 09:50

Does she need to go to university to be an embalmer? It seems more like an on the job type thing to me.

University is no longer the golden ticket to financial riches for a lot of people and there are many careers where getting a job at 18 would be a more practical route.

If she starts as an embalmer now (assuming that it doesn't require a degree) then when she is 21 and her peers are graduating, she will have a few years experience, perhaps a reasonable salary and most importantly, no student debt. She could always go to university later if she wanted to.

Where do you live in the country? Outside London and the South East, £27k is a decent salary that will allow a reasonable standard of living and be able to purchase a property, although she would probably need to do this with a partner, might struggle as a single person.

Maybe she doesn't want to go in the high paying finance/law type career that will require her to work long hours and have no life outside work anyway. It's not for everyone, not family friendly and many people burn out by their 40s anyway.

harshbuttrue1980 · 08/01/2017 09:50

She has three non-great A levels in three subjects, two of which are seen as "soft subjects". As someone else said, she would end up in a mediocre uni, and she'd probably end up with a mediocre degree grade. If she isn't academic, she is far better off working her way up than getting into debt by going to uni.

5moreminutes · 08/01/2017 09:50

If she wants a family and plans to do it the traditional 2 parent way they'd have £54000 ayear between them if she married someone on the same income... That's really not terrible! As others say a "safe" career counts for more than a high but insecure income if having a family is a priority.

daydreamnation · 08/01/2017 09:50

Our house 'motto' has always been 'work hard and be nice to people'
Both of my children have grown up watching both of us work hard for what we have but I have told them from a very young age to do what makes them happy.
I'd prefer my ds to be a happy binman than a miserable Doctor! Your dd sounds lovely.

Lonelystarbuckslover · 08/01/2017 09:51

27,000 to me isn't a bad salary per se. I'm educated to PhD level and currently on 33, unlikely to get a permanent contract as in research. I will probably get to about 35k and in that time, sacrificed a lot to move around for contracts and likely end up childless because of these sacrifices and got in debt to invest in it. My line of work is on its knees. The funeral industry is always going to be there I suppose. The problem is the cost of living not being in line with wages these days.

Wages vary wildly. I think saying 27k is 'only' will come across as poor taste to many. But I guess it depends if you keep the company of people on much more, then it won't sound like a lot to you. It's relative.

YANBU to worry about your daughter's future because of the state of the country and how bad young people are likely to have it in the future.

I would be very proud of her choosing this line of work personally though. Someone has to do it and it's not for everyone. She may change career at some point anyway as most people do.

Limitededition7inch · 08/01/2017 09:51

One of my friends is in a job where the maximum he'll make is about £30,000. At present I don't think he's anywhere near that. However, out of all of our friends he has, without a doubt, the highest level of job satisfaction. I've never heard him complain about what he does, he never calls in sick and he is actually a lot happier as a person (although I appreciate that could just be him) than a lot of us. DH earns more than that but has been sick with worry over a major contract for the last few months. Job satisfaction is absolutely key.

You're also assuming that she'll stay in that role for the rest of her life. It's really common for people to change careers nowadays and I'm sure the experience she gains will enable her, if she so wishes, to go into other things. Good luck to her!

MuseumOfCurry · 08/01/2017 09:52

Surely she could parlay this into a small business of her own? I don't think there could be a pre-ordained ceiling on someone's salary any more than a floor.

SloanyAnne · 08/01/2017 09:52

I think you have an overly optimistic view of what a degree will 'buy' you. There are many graduates who won't be earning that kind of money.

HalfaFishFingerAndTwoPeas · 08/01/2017 09:52

I'm a funeral administrator and earn 18k on my starting salary, directors earn 2x that and I know an embalmer that earns just over 30k. In my area that's considered a decent salary, in London however it's not.

Original poster
soups1 · 08/01/2017 09:52

she is 19, she has always been into the idea of it, i am not saying she is 'weird'! she just always has enjoyed horror movies, etc. she isnt amazing at science (C GCSE) so she doesnt want to go into that side of things (forensics, pathology) so has decided on this. she wasnt sure if she should try and get a job in a funeral first (none have jobs going here though!) and then see or do the course now (more jobs after she does that)

OP posts:
Original poster
soups1 · 08/01/2017 09:53

no she doesnt have to go to uni, just do an embalmer course

OP posts:
JackLottiesMum · 08/01/2017 09:55

She seems really bright so you have to trust her to follow her own instincts or you'll damage her self confidence. It's impossible to tell what other opportunities might come her way. She could meet someone at college and choose a different path or career - or she might stick to it but end up owning an embalming business since she is so bright. What's important is she knows you believe in her. You risk her not forgiving you and damaging your relationship if you discourage her. Imagine how you would feel if someone was discouraging you from doing something you had set your heart on.

HalfaFishFingerAndTwoPeas · 08/01/2017 09:55

I know I'm biased but I would encourage her to do what she loves, It's an extremely rewarding job.

Lemond1fficult · 08/01/2017 09:55

If she's bright and adaptable I don't think you need to worry. For perspective, I wanted to join a very niche, badly paid profession from about the age of 5 (won't say here in case it's outing). I did go on to study it at university, qualified, and quickly realised I wanted more money than that job could offer me, particularly as a skint young grad. With such a niche degree I found it really easy to get interviews for graduate roles, as it helps you stand out from the crowd of Humanities grads, and it's easy to leverage the skills of a vocational degree into other industries. I now work as a contractor in the industry I joined after university, and use those wages to dabble in the vocational role on the side (though realise this may not be advisable for your daughter!)

Justme3 · 08/01/2017 09:56

If she wants to do it she should do it .

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 08/01/2017 09:57

Given how incredibly expensive it is to go to university now, I wouldn't advise that for anyone who isn't desperate to go - and for the right reasons, not just because it sounds like a fun way to spend three years. Your daughter has her head screwed on and I think you should back her all the way. She will be earning money and making progress in a career within a very short time.

If she went to a local university she might suddenly blossom and do really well in her degree, far above what her A level grades would have suggested, but equally she might just not be the academic type and end up with a 2.2 or a 3rd, which are not likely to open doors to highly paid work.

bertsdinner · 08/01/2017 09:58

I think there are lots of graduates who will never earn £27k. Some will start on this salary but I'm another who thinks you are over estimating what a degree can get you.
While £27k is not mega bucks, its a decent salary in a lot of areas in the UK. Funeral director is a respected profession, and lets face it, they'll never run out of work. Your daughter could also set up her own business in the future, potentially.

JeepersMcoy · 08/01/2017 10:00

I am about to go back to uni to retrain in a job that will pay me half I am earning now and will never have the earning potential of my current career. Why? Because there are many things in life that are more important than money. I would rather have a job I enjoy and that gives me a sense of worth than earn big, but be bored and miserable. Life is just too short.

Besides the chances are she will retrain or develop her career in the future to move in a different direction. Maybe set up her own business. Very few people finish their lives in the career they started out in these days. This seems like as good a place to start as any and as others have pointed out there will always be a need for it so she will have a good basis to then develop from with minimum risk.

InvisibleKittenAttack · 08/01/2017 10:00

In Essex then yes, it's not a good salary, most likely if she has dc with a partner, hers will be the lower wage and unlikely to cover childcare for more than 1 dc.

That said, she could run her own business, she could move to more of the funeral director side of the business, I can imagine many people would feel happier dealing with a woman in times of grief. While I don't know anyone personally in the industry, it strikes me as a job you could take part time or non-standard hours to fit round a DPs job/school runs. (Important if you aren't going to earn enough for childcare but live in an area with higher wage expectations so likely your DP will earn too much for you to claim tax credits etc).

Katymac · 08/01/2017 10:02

DD intends to spend the next 10 years working in an industry that regularly doesn't even pay minimum wage, I'm sure she will do something different (requiring training) after this

I'm about to embark on my 4th career 'choice' at 48 so I see employment/careers as temporary and changeable

alltouchedout · 08/01/2017 10:02

27k is more than the average wage. It's not a pittance.
Honestly there's nothing like mn discussion about income to highlight just how weirdly dismissive of the majority abd the way most lives are lived some people are.

strawberrypenguin · 08/01/2017 10:03

It's a good wage. I have a degree am in my 30's and still earn less than 27,000. Being a graduate does not guarantee you a high paying job these days.

Original poster
soups1 · 08/01/2017 10:05

thanks everyone, these comments have made me feel very hopeful for her.

OP posts:
Famalam13 · 08/01/2017 10:06

Doing something she enjoys is far more important than money (as long as she has enough to live on) and as PP have said its a stable profession :)

I read research once that showed that happiness increases with household income up to 50,000, after that it doesn't. So all she needs is a partner earning 23,000 :)