Phrases you really hate on MN

[cathf]

Following on from the fabulous type of threads you really hate on here, I thought I would start a similar thread for phrases used on MN that really get your goat.
I'll start off with 'in this house', usually used in conjunction with some smug statement to make the OP feel inadequate/bad.
For example 'Oh, we love books in this house!' or 'there's no faddy eaters allowed in this house' or 'we all have to respect each other in this house'.
Over to you ....

I forgot plastic tat. I hate that phrase.

"only on MN"

Nope.

People post things that they think.

These are real people, with real thoughts.

In your offline life you might not encounter these people, or they might not tell you their thoughts, but the thoughts are not specific to MN.

My vote is for "soft clothing". Because the alternative is woven from stinging nettles and sewn together with barbed wire.

No it isn't. It's stiff restrictive clothing like denim.

Please don't let that just be me?

You sound

No, the poster really doesn't (for most part) - they simply don't agree with you, and just what you're expressing is your opinion as opposed to a fact, despite your use of "you sound".

I don't know why denim is seen as so terrible. There's some lovely soft denim around.

I will never tell anyone in rl I'm on mumsnet because there is a lot of twattery on here let's face it.

HTH

DameXanaduBramble
'Wow, just wow' Fuck off, just fuck off

Just spat my coffee all over the screen

BFP. Followed by "congratulations" When said to me about my life.

I never tested in some pregnancies, I didn't even TTC in most of them so it wasn't like I had achieved something. Very disconcerting & loads of untrue assumptions. Not surprisingly I barely told anyone about last pregnancy.

Not a phrase, but an OP who posts a long thread all in one paragraph.

I don't understand the denim thing either. I think it's the baby version of the 'why does a child need a ' as if everyone should be thrilled by playing with a wooden top whilst wearing a pinafore. Nobody needs to engage with current trends, not ever, and it you think otherwise then you are both feckless and common.

Boils my piss and grinds my gears - both drive me mad!

Francis that is such a doggedly literal riposte

I hate 'soft clothing' too. Vile. I never dressed my DC in clothes that were hard, that being, as Francis said, the opposite of soft. I also had when they are made 'nests' on the sofa. If they are ill and off school, they should be in bed, not on the sofa in front of the TV.

I hate the assumption that a badly behaved child has SN every single time. No, some of the little gits are just badly brought up and the parents don't give a shit. Children are not ' the most important people in the world'. You are only a child for a short time; people are all important. I hate that kids are not expected to offer an adult a seat on a bus or train.

I have gone NC with a member of my family. It isn't that hard now, but at the time it was agonizing and heartbreaking. It isn't a step to be taken lightly, but from the way the phrase is thrown about, you'd think it was as easy as a walk in the park.

Hosting/Hosted/Host

As in "We hosted PILs for Xmas
"It's our turn to host this year"

I have never heard anyone in RL use this, only on MN

It really annoys me

FOTTFSOF etc etc. I've never found it funny or clever.

'Going against the grain here' when said by people who aren't going against the grain at all, they just haven't bothered to read the thread and notice that several others have made the same point.

'Wow if a man had posted the replies would be so different'. Sometimes relevant but very annoying when someone swoops in to be the first to say it regardless of what any replies say.

Unmumsnetty hugs
Didn't want to read and run
Itchy teeth
Judgy pants

Special snowflake

Head tilt

HTH - after a shitty comment.

Boils my piss - what, it superheats your bladder?
Makes me grip my shit - yuck.
Makes my teeth itch - just doesn't make sense to me.
Get a grip - unnecessarily harsh, usually.
You sound vile - but I like vile as a word.
HTH - always seems so passive aggressive.

For nouns being used as verbs, the one that grates with me is medal. The Rio games were awash with commentators referring to competitors or countries medalling. Drove me to distraction.

Not unique to MN, but people spitting coffee / wine etc on a keyboard
Don't do it

'I agree with X' ...even though loads of other posters will have made the same point as X did.

A few things already mentioned give me the creeps but one of the things I hate reading most is something along the lines of "DH has agreed to babysit..." It is not "babysitting".

I don't know why, but I hate 'fast forward three years'

Maybe because it always comes after about 8 paragraphs you would probably have fast forwarded through anyway if you'd known it was only back story. Maybe because it seems s bit self important, as though it's some film we're watching. But it irks me.

When people called the OP the OP

Like "I am sorry op but yabu"

I mean I don't know what else they would call them
"I sm sorry user12453" sounds crap.

I don't know why this bothersome me but when I read it. I wince and cringe inside.

So weird . I activated know I am being unreasonable.