To be irrationally furious and upset about this

[LosAngeles444]

First week back at work after maternity leave. Work in a serviced office where we share the communal facilities with different companies. About to leave work and went to fridge to pick up my expensive £4 bottle of cold pressed juice and found some bastard has stolen it from the bag it was wrapped in!! That's so low. Trying to be healthy and get back in shape and some sod has done this. Irrationally furious! Any ideas for what sort of message I can leave in the fridge for the thief?!?!

Beetroot juice makes you pee the same colour. Try that next?

brat my first thought
Second thought is to leave s note in fridge saying someone took my pee sample yesterday from the bag it was wrapped in....

I found the best way to deal with office fridge thief's (and old uni ones too) was to put lippy around the rim like I'd drunk from it.

*thiefs ffs autocorrect

Provenance is one thing. Arrests are made based on reasonable grounds for suspicion. Someone who had had their food / drink pinched from the fridge following it up with something laced with urine or drugs would be the first suspect, surely?

Fingerprint tests and DNA swabs would be reasonable lines of enquiry for a deliberate poisoning.

Could also be gross misconduct in most workplaces, no?

It would be an easy defence though, Vivienne.

"Yes, my drink has been stolen from the fridge before, but I hoped it was just a one off. I couldn't take a shit this morning, so I put some laxative in my drink. To my surprise, my drink was stolen a second time."

I would leave a note telling the thief that the juice they robbed was actually a fresh urine sample. And that they need to seek immediate medical advice.

Shiny Could you keep lies like that up under questioning by the police?

Hmm.
Nicking someone's juice is a nasty, selfish thing to do, goes against some fairly basic social rules.
People who score highly on psychopathy scales are over-represented in the upper echelons of business.
Maybe it was your boss that took it.

Lol Vivienne as if you would get questioned by the police. Do you even have any case law that states that urine/laxatives fall under the OAPA as a noxious substance? We're not talking about arsenic here.

Don't bother with the piss, too obvious before first sip. Definitely pop some a lot of laxative in, for yourself obviously, you wouldn't want to get in trouble

Or water tablets...

The only case law I can find on my phone are for more sinister cases - white spirit, prescription drugs etc, but hardly surprising when the most widely reported cases will be the sensationalist ones. What have you found all?

However, noxious substance with intent to annoy? You wouldn't say that OTC meds could be construed as such?

Can you add lots of food dye to it? You'll soon find out who pinched it by the colour of their mouth. Since food dye is supposed to be harmless then surely you can't get into legal trouble.

cold pressed juice is full of calories so count your lucky stars, go home and drink cold tap water instead- much better for you/your teeth

Definitely drink half then piss in it. Drink stealer would be too embarrassed to admit drinking it if they ever realised. So you will be safe from prosecution I'm sure

In shared student flats fridge, someone took a large bite (teeth marks yuck) out of my slab of cheese! They might as well have taken the whole thing.

What about diluting juice with vinegar, see if they enjoy a swig of that!

Or cheap juice + hot chilli sauce

Shiny, Could you keep lies like that up under questioning by the police?

Well, I cannot speak from experience, but its a pretty easy lie and one that they could never prove (unless they were in the bathroom that morning to witness your bowel movement), plus its for them to prove guilt, not you to prove innocence. I imagine that most people would be capable of carrying off a simple lie like that one.

Joystir, are you sure your name shouldn't be joykiller?

Do NOT do the pee thing! Do not do anything that could expose the thief to a biohazard or harm him! You could be legally liable (despite the fact he's a thief)!

Instead, fill it with green water. Perhaps with a crushed aspirin in it for extra bitterness, and a note inside the cap reading, "Not yours, is it?" Or green water with pulped up (but harmless) grass clippings.

You need to put a head in a jar. I'll see if I can find the link.

I would pee in it! Pretty sure I read somewhere it's completely harmless as it's sterile 😂

Do you have an HR department? I'd report it to them as theft (which it is) and encourage anyone else who has suffered similar to also report the thefts. If people kick up enough of a stink about it the company may pay for a webcam to go in the breakroom to watch the fridge. The best revenge is for the thief to be found out and fired.

Do this. Pretty please!
www.instructables.com/id/head-in-a-jar-prank/

Please please please please please.