To be irrationally furious and upset about this

[LosAngeles444]

First week back at work after maternity leave. Work in a serviced office where we share the communal facilities with different companies. About to leave work and went to fridge to pick up my expensive £4 bottle of cold pressed juice and found some bastard has stolen it from the bag it was wrapped in!! That's so low. Trying to be healthy and get back in shape and some sod has done this. Irrationally furious! Any ideas for what sort of message I can leave in the fridge for the thief?!?!

Leave a note asking who took the urine sample you were keeping for your after work doctor's appointment? Complain bitterly that you've now had to reschedule and could people leave it alone next time!

Haha

Love the piss in a bottle idea

make sure you have some berocca first! then wee

Trying not to be a party pooper, but......

Just a word of caution for anyone thinking of really putting laxatives into something like that for a thief, it's illegal as its classed as poisoning

I personally would put a load of food dye in there too, that way you will know exactly who is the juice thief

Get a berry smoothie, drink half and then top it up with ghost chilli extract sauce.

Leave a note regarding the juice they've already taken:

Contains medication
Was infected breast milk
You've had noroviris

Let them squirm

but if youre putting laxatives in your own drink it cant be poisoning, i mean why would you want to poison yourself......
and on that note, its not your fault some thieving twat swiped it

This happened to a colleague she sent out an email to the office asking whoever took her yoghurt to replace it. They did!

"Has anyone seen a bottle with a urine sample in? It was in an Innocent bottle" (or whatever).

Just a word of caution for anyone thinking of really putting laxatives into something like that for a thief, it's illegal as its classed as poisoning

Really?! Do you have a link for that?!

Am I the only person to be horrified at the idea of someone putting a bottle of piss in a communal fridge? Grim.

Fraid so - S.24 The Offences Against the Person Act 1861:

Whosoever shall unlawfully and maliciously administer to or cause to be administered to or taken by any other person any poison or other destructive or noxious thing, with intent to injure, aggrieve, or annoy such person, shall be guilty of a misdemeanor, and being convicted thereof shall be liable (to a term of imprisonment).

That's right, it would be illegal in exactly the same way it would be an offence to set up a trap in your home to harm a burglar.

And yes, that legislation is still current in the UK. (ex copper here)

Kill them with kindness/guilt.

Write a really polite note asking if they could please replace the juice, as you need it for your weakened immune system, and you're v.poor

cackles

Placemarking to see what happens 😂

So if i made myself a bottle of movicol 3 or 4 sachets (as per my normal)mixed with juice, to mask the vile taste and put it in my work communal fridge then some fucker stole it, i would be done for poisoning?

Yes, please mix piss with food colouring and put it in the bottle to see if it happens again. Then come back on here and tell us.

Not just you, i'm horrified anyone would even try to pee in a bottle let alone put it anywhere near food.
Personally i wouldn't bother with passive aggressive notes, i'd go into the office/s who share the fridge, and ask whoever has felt they had some right to take something they did not pay for and put in there, doesn't rudely help themselves again as it is legally theft, and if it happens again you will report it to higher ups to investigate. Then actually stick to the threat if they do. It may "just" be a bottle of juice this time, but what if next time it's an unattended handbag? I can't think of any legitimate reason to take someone elses food/drink other than it's a diabetic having a hypo who needed sugar and got caught out. Even then, an apology note left there, with explanation and buying you a new bottle. For all they knew, YOU have diabetes and need to control blood sugars. But pretty certain it's just a rude, entitled asshole who thinks they can help themselves. Some people have no decency, they know it's a shared fridge and people have bought the contents for their own use, not a "help yourself" fridge. Minimal chance it is someone struggling who cannot afford to buy lunch etc, but that's still no excuse to steal.

I'd put a note on the thread asking that whoever took your juice please replace it or pay for it.

Doubt she would get in trouble. Firstly, it's not clearly intended for another person- she would be pretending that it was for her own use. Secondly, is urine a noxious substance? Not sure it is- some people drink their own piss. Thirdly- surely the piss-drinker would be guilty of theft.

I would do it. They certainly will think twice about stealing your drink again and what sort of loser would launch a complaint along the lines of 'I nicked some juice from the fridge but it actually tastes like green piss'?

What if you were constipated and put laxatives in your drink and someone just happened to nick it from the fridge. You could hardly be blamed for that?

How could anyone ever prove that the OP hadn't done the above. After all, its her laxatives in her drink, that she has bought for herself and stored in a fridge that she has every right to think her food and drink will be safe in.

Disclaimer - I am not saying its ok to poison people.

Some of the very laddish young men at university had a problem with someone stealing their shared milk. One of them stuck their nob in said milk carton and photographed it .... when the milk level went down the next day they posted the photo under everyone's door in the halls .... gross but it worked