To be disappointed that the school newsletter is asking for donations of 'dressing up clothes for boys.'

[Marcipex]

So much for equal opportunities.

I would not be offended by this letter. I would assume they have lots of disney/princess dresses! Personally, I would read it and move on in my life.

Probably better to ask for 'costumes, but please no princess/fairy/witch costumes as thanks to previous generosity we have an ample supply of them'

The annoying thing about the request as worded is that they can still rely on gender stereotypes right from such an early age.

I don't think the school is likely to stop little girls dressing up as firefighters/vets/Spider-Man if that's what takes their fancy.

Or I suppose it could be that the school might be finding boys aren't doing as well as girls with the 'understanding the world' bit of the eyfs and were trying to get better resources for them. (When I worked in a preschool that was something I always found tricky, on one hand I didn't want to stereotype...on the other the boys and girls did tend to be interested in different things)

It's probably a badly-phrased request for no princess dresses, but I would bring it up. I don't it's deliberately seeking to be offended if the people in charge of educating young children are assuming that girl = fairy/princess/ballerina/childcare/cleaning and boy= emergency services/astronaut/doctor/builder.

I suppose you could send in a pope costume. That's pretty likely to still be men-only by the time they reach adulthood. But it would probably be used as a princess dress.

Goodness OP, what an enlightened parent you are!
It's just as well you posted here it no-one would have noticed.

OR no-one would have noticed!

Love the idea of a dead Pope costume!

broomstick, completely agree that it's worth checking that the school is assuming that the school thinks girl = fairy/princess/ballerina/childcare/cleaning and boy= emergency services/astronaut/doctor/builder as opposed to 'clothes that boys may (or may not) prefer to dress up in^ is an assumption worth checking?

I know in MN world all DS's enjoy tearing around the place equally in Princess Dresses as they do in something like an Incredible Hulk costume, but - despite me teaching my DS (and DD) about gender equality, he would still prefer the latter.

If his school ever denied him the chance to wear a princess dress, I'd go in all guns blazing. I'm sure they wouldn't though.

I'm sure OPs school wouldn't either and that (although lazy), 'boys' was simply used as shorthand for 'clothes boys may like to dress up in' rather than doctor, policeman etc.

Sorry, my first paragraph makes little sense but hopefully you get the jist.

If you want to challenge it, you could ask them what they mean by boys costumes, because it's unclear

*gist, FFS

I blame dry January.

Disappointed?

Problem is, it's perfectly clear what they mean by boys' costumes. And it is a shame.

Hopefully cherry, OP will follow Tropic's advice and report back...

Yeah, YABU.

'boys' was simply used as shorthand for 'clothes boys may like to dress up in' rather than doctor, policeman etc.

And that's exactly the problem. It assumes that what boys like to dress up in and what girls like to dress up in are two different things. It's lazy and sexist and a school should be challenging those attitudes, not adding to them.

It's short sighted, and a lazy use of language which sadly probably reflects the attitudes of some of the staff.

Which means that, no matter how careful they think they are being, those attitudes will be being voiced somewhere, somehow.

Like when I collect ds from school, and he has (yet again) got filthy in the sandpit, or trashed his joggers, spilt stuff everywhere, and generally been a happy, productive 4 year old, and the teacher rolls her eyes and trots out 'oh, that's boys for you!' She must have a short memory, because dd2 was just as often in exactly the same state when I collected her (same teacher). The same teacher expressed surprise (to me, but in ds' hearing) when ds told her he wanted a pink elephant for Christmas (because why would he want a pink one?).

It's insidious, and horrible.

And it should be challenged, because yes, it means that someone somewhere thinks that the 'occupations' are more suited for boys dress up, and that the girls will all stick to the princess stuff even if they have a choice. Depressing.

no, I think best approach is to ask what they mean by 'boy's costumes' and if they say doctor/astronaut/firefighter just look confused and ask for clarification

Pope costume! Brilliant.

Yes it's clear what they mean...but if questioned they might either feel silly, or show that there's an issue somewhere. The response may be quite telling. Or maybe the Secretary wrote it. I think I would approach it by questioning and gauge the response before worrying tooooo much

I know we are all supposed to be terribly PC but in real life don't most boys still want to dress up as traditional boys' characters? You only have to look at what they turn up in on World Book Day. No one is saying that boys can't dress up as princesses if they want to, or girls as male characters (I'm certainly not, Dd went as Robin Hood, the White Rabbit and a dalmatian when she was at primary) but I don't think there's any call to start getting all offended over a simple request for outfits.

And that's exactly the problem. It assumes that what boys like to dress up in and what girls like to dress up in are two different things. It's lazy and sexist and a school should be challenging those attitudes, not adding to them.

My DS and my DD do like to dress up in different things though. So if I was sending in clothes in response to that request, they would likely be clothes DS had grown out of. Which would happen to be 'stereotypical boys' clothes.

Other parents whose DS'S like dressing up in Princess dresses would presumably be at leisure to send those in, in response to a request like that from the school?

If they meant male character outfits only....ok. but if they mean police, fire service, doctor or builder, it just isn't accurate to call them boy's costumes...whether boys prefer them to princess dresses or not.

if they mean police, fire service, doctor or builder, it just isn't accurate to call them boy's costumes...whether boys prefer them to princess dresses or not.

Completely agree with that. But I can't make out from the OP if that's what they do mean, or if it's simply the case that they're asking for donations of any costumes that their male pupils have grown out of, IYSWIM