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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU not to want to be shouted at aggressively in the nursery car park

46 replies

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 06/01/2017 13:22

This is actually more of a WWYD as I don't think I am being unreasonable at all

DD attends a nice little nursery with not much parking two afternoons a week.

I have 3 children aged 4 and under so I always get there nice and early so I can get a parking space.

Did so today and dropped DD off. I couldn't reverse out of the carpark as some other (nobber) had parked right at the kerb and someone else was parked across the road so there was no room to swing round

So waited patiently for the other person to move. Which they did. Was just about to reverse and a man parks his car right across the car park exit. I thought maybe there was some kind of emergency but, no, he just took his child out and went inside. I didn't want to say anything then but when he came out I asked him (politely) if he would move. He said no. He would move whenever be felt like it as he had had to wait 5 minutes for me to move (despite the fact I couldn't) and then started shouting at me that he would park where ever he damn well liked and I could fuck off. I was . He then did zoom off

It was actually rather unpleasant and very unexpected as everyone round here tends to be quite nice and reasonable and polite.

Should I mention this to the nursery? I've never seen him before and hopefully Won't really bump into him too much. I know that adults are obviously in charge of their own children duct and it's not the nursery's reasponsabilitiy but I'm assuming they would prefer parents not to shout and swear at other parents in the car park and block the exit?

OP posts:

Pingles · 06/01/2017 14:25

Personally I'd always park that bit further away and avoid all the fuckwittery that tends to go with hotly contested parking

The answer to most school and nursery parking issues

Before anyone jumps in, caveat with those with SN and disabilities

Mummyoflittledragon · 06/01/2017 14:30

I think op wants to bag a spot because of taking 3 under 4's. So car park safer.

BIgBagofJelly · 06/01/2017 14:30

I all my DS to school to avoid all these issues but I can understand why OP doesn't want to park further away when she has 3 little kids to drag about. Parking across the entire entrance to a car park is beyond normal fuckwittery.

ALittleMop · 06/01/2017 14:33

I would tell all the other parents what happened, as well as the nursery.

And - if that person happened to have a significant other, who appeared more reasonable, I would tell them, too.

Pingles · 06/01/2017 14:35

I think op wants to bag a spot because of taking 3 under 4's. So car park safer

Is it safer? That is where the most accidents and road rage incidents tend to take place right near the entrance with too many people trying to park virtually inside the nursery or school.

SnatchedPencil · 06/01/2017 14:36

Get a dashcam. If people park inconsiderately show the nursery the evidence. If people are abusive or threatening, show the police the evidence.

Without evidence it is just your word against his. If he's the sort of person who thinks it is ok to be abusive, he will likely be the sort of person who either lies about it or worse, genuinely believe he did nothing wrong.

19lottie82 · 06/01/2017 14:41

I would tell the nursery, 100%.

Original poster

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 06/01/2017 14:42

If I park on the street, I have to get the double pram out. If I park in the car park (only 4 spaces and usually only 2 free), I can carry the baby and toddler and 4 year old hold hands and mine and we can walk - it's only about 5 feet from the car
to the door.

To be fair, there's never been a problem before. I always make sure I get there nice and early and get a space. If someone else gets there before me, I will park on the road and get the pram out and other times I will walk (about 70% of the time). But I will not give up driving because it's easier to let some aggressive swearing man have the space or he'll block me in and shout at me.

OP posts:

Original poster

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 06/01/2017 14:44

Re: the parking, one of the nursery assistants came out, saw that I was blocked in and rolled her eyes so hopefully she could vouch for that.

The swearing, it's just my word against his. So I fully expect him to deny it.

OP posts:

Pingles · 06/01/2017 14:45

But I will not give up driving because it's easier to let some aggressive swearing man have the space or he'll block me in and shout at me

Just have to expect a few incidents now and again.

I don't care. I just swear back at them. Surprisingly how quickly they shut up some men just like to intimidate women

Original poster

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 06/01/2017 14:50

I may send my 6 foot 7, well built, shaven headed DH for pick up. We had a similar issue once when I was waiting to pick up DH. He came out of the shop and genuinely and politely asked the ranting man if there was a problem? The man squeaked it must have been a misunderstanding and got into his car and tootled off!

OP posts:

needmymouthsewnup · 06/01/2017 14:58

Did the man realise that you couldn't reverse out because of the other car blocking the way? From his point of view, he might have seen you get back into your car and thought he would wait for you to leave to get your spot, and then saw you "sit in your car" for 5 minutes? Obviously I know that's not what you were doing, but it might have looked that way, so he thought you were being the inconsiderate one?

Either way, not acceptable to talk to you like that and use that language, esp near a nursery where there might be small children. I'd prob be inclined to ask the nursery to remind all parents to park considerately, which includes not blocking other people in.

Aki23 · 06/01/2017 14:58

Im the sort of person who would have whipped my phone out to film this just to see how he would react. Dont let it bother you. Its not your fault you were trapped in.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 06/01/2017 15:11

Gobbolin. I bet he did. They always shit themselves when faced with a man.

There was a man in my road. Screaming and shouting at an elderly lady. I went over as I'd want someone to go to my nan. I got told to keep my Fuckin nose out. Obviously there was an altercation. Next second the elderly lady's grandson turned up. In the middle of it all. Mr pick on sweet timid elderly ladies shit himself. Oh its just a misunderstanding between me and your nan. No it wasn't you're nothing but a bully, who can only fight with those weaker than you.
As you can imagine and understand. Her grandson went ape shit. Mr hard man keeps a low profile now.

Birdsgottafly · 06/01/2017 15:11

""What do you expect the nursery to do? Tell him off? He isn't 4.""
""Nursery won't do anything, where does safeguarding come into it"

If you read your child's Nursery/School policies, you'll see that "acceptable conduct" applies to the grounds, as well.

So he'll be told that swearing is unacceptable. Children being possibly subjected to swearing/aggressive behaviour does come under safeguarding.

TheMysteriousJackelope · 06/01/2017 15:26

I would tell the nursery as they should know they are dealing with a parent who can turn unreasonably belligerent. If he is willing to treat a random stranger like that, just imagine how nasty he could be as a customer to the people he pays to look after his children? If I was a member of staff I'd want another adult nearby any time I had to deal with him.

Also, informing parents that yelling and swearing in the car park will result in them being banned from the premises would be a good thing for them to do.

Jaxhog · 06/01/2017 15:28

There's a car park. You get there early and park in it. Perfectly reasonable. Along comes some Jackass who can't get his act together, blocks you in and resorts to swearing when you ask him to move. Outrageous.

As birdsgottafly says, this is a matter for the nursery. It'll be swearing at the kids next.

KnittedBlanketHoles · 06/01/2017 15:57

What an arse, some people just can't stand having their bad behaviour pointed out so you pulling him up on his stupid parking raised his I'm-an-arsehole hackles. Report to the nursery. As a nursery worker saw you parked in they might know which parent it was.

Pingles · 06/01/2017 16:30

If you read your child's Nursery/School policies, you'll see that "acceptable conduct" applies to the grounds, as well

Makes no difference. The most they will do is put it in the newsletter or send a gentle reminder that is very general about parking in general

LizzieMacQueen · 06/01/2017 16:31

Could you reverse into the parking spot in future. If you arrive in good time I expect that's possible.

I agree with @neednymouthsewnup that your actions may very well have triggered his response. Not excusing his behaviour but trying to see why he would have done that. Especially as he said he'd waited 5 minutes for you.

JerryFerry · 06/01/2017 21:14

Oh for Pete's sake, as if the nursery staff don't have enough to worry about without parents squabbling over parking.

We had parents like this at our nursery and they were the laughing stock in the staff room. Get as uppity as you like but don't expect a nursery teacher to police your disputes.

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