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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU not to want to be shouted at aggressively in the nursery car park

46 replies

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 06/01/2017 13:22

This is actually more of a WWYD as I don't think I am being unreasonable at all

DD attends a nice little nursery with not much parking two afternoons a week.

I have 3 children aged 4 and under so I always get there nice and early so I can get a parking space.

Did so today and dropped DD off. I couldn't reverse out of the carpark as some other (nobber) had parked right at the kerb and someone else was parked across the road so there was no room to swing round

So waited patiently for the other person to move. Which they did. Was just about to reverse and a man parks his car right across the car park exit. I thought maybe there was some kind of emergency but, no, he just took his child out and went inside. I didn't want to say anything then but when he came out I asked him (politely) if he would move. He said no. He would move whenever be felt like it as he had had to wait 5 minutes for me to move (despite the fact I couldn't) and then started shouting at me that he would park where ever he damn well liked and I could fuck off. I was Confused Shock. He then did zoom off

It was actually rather unpleasant and very unexpected as everyone round here tends to be quite nice and reasonable and polite.

Should I mention this to the nursery? I've never seen him before and hopefully Won't really bump into him too much. I know that adults are obviously in charge of their own children duct and it's not the nursery's reasponsabilitiy but I'm assuming they would prefer parents not to shout and swear at other parents in the car park and block the exit?

OP posts:
Gobbolinothewitchscat · 06/01/2017 13:23

But I don't want to look like a dick at the nursery by mentioning this...and become that parent Grin

OP posts:
WaitrosePigeon · 06/01/2017 13:25

Absolutely tell the nursery. They will deal with it. Parent parking wars have been swiftly dealt with in the nursery my daughter attends.

WankersHacksandThieves · 06/01/2017 13:31

He was definitely out of order and I would mention it to nursery, however I'm not sure why you asked him to move when he came out as presumably that's what he was going to do having dropped of his child?

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 06/01/2017 13:39

I asked him to move as I think if someone is rude enough to block the entire entrance of a car park (and for clarity, there was plenty of space on the street notblocking the entrance), I don't think you can assume that person actually will move quickly as blocking people in is obviously not a concern

OP posts:
llangennith · 06/01/2017 13:42

Yes absolutely tell nursery. Maybe they could have someone on the door to keep an eye on children coming in and parents parking
What a horrible bully!

JerryFerry · 06/01/2017 13:43

What do you expect the nursery to do? Tell him off? He isn't 4.

Hippee · 06/01/2017 13:54

You can tell Nursery, but don't expect it to change anything. Our school is always pleading with parents not to park across neighbouring driveways or on the zig-zags and they still do it. Unfortunately some people are so entitled that they think it's their right to do whatever they like and everyone else has to suck it up.

juniorcakeoff · 06/01/2017 13:57

Park further away and walk up, saves all this bullshit.

ChasedByBees · 06/01/2017 14:00

Absolutely tell nursery.

No they can't tell him off Jerryferry but they can refuse his business if he's going to be aggressive to other parents.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 06/01/2017 14:02

Well 100 lines and 6 of the best would be a start I suppose....

I expect them to ask him not to block the exit, just as presumably I'd be asked not to if I randomly decided to park across the Sainsburys car park exit.

They can mention him being aggressive. Presumably he'll deny it but whatever.

Actually, the whole issue was precipitated by the first person who parked so close to the entrance that I couldn't actually reverse out because of the person parked across the road in the first instance (albeit they had moved and then Mr Toad decided to block the entire exit) So maybe putting up some kind of notice or sending an email asking people to park considerately?

OP posts:
ALittleMop · 06/01/2017 14:03

Tell the nursery
Dob him in for dangerous, selfish parking
And swearing at you
They can make it clear that his behaviour on both counts is unacceptable

DailyFail1 · 06/01/2017 14:03

Tell the nursery definitely if he was being aggressive.

ALittleMop · 06/01/2017 14:04

Have they got zigzags outside? If not perhaps they could get some.
And terse notes (our HT names and shames - car reg's not kids) in newsletters.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 06/01/2017 14:05

No - I'm not walking every day. I walk a lot of the daus but there are some days (rain/doc's app etc) that I want to be able to take my car and sometimes I just don't want to drag 3 under 4s out in a howling gale

Why should I be intimidated by some rude, aggressive man into not driving just so he can park wherever he wants? I go early so I get a space.

OP posts:
drspouse · 06/01/2017 14:07

Nursery have more power than school especially if a private nursery - they aren't going to want children exposed to aggressive behaviour - and they don't have to have a particular child at nursery.

I posted about a parking problem at our nursery (and astonishingly the vast majority of MN agreed IWNBU) and had some great suggestions, put them to nursery and they've implemented them! Doesn't always stop people but it helps a lot.

augustbody · 06/01/2017 14:08

Wow, I work in a a school not a nursery, but if there had been an incident such as you described, complete with parent telling another parent to fuck off, then at the very least there would be a strongly worded section in the newsletter! And we would all be Shock at the swearing parent, what the fuck???

Definitely tell the nursery.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 06/01/2017 14:14

If I was a parent at that nursery and there was a bullying intimidating idiot screaming and shouting. I'd want to know.

Strongmummy · 06/01/2017 14:14

Tell nursery. Dreadful behaviour

augustbody · 06/01/2017 14:15

Also, im not entirely sure as I have never come across it, but im pretty sure the nursery would log this sort of report even if just out of concern for the child of sweary dad?

Pingles · 06/01/2017 14:18

Nursery won't do anything.

Had bad experiences at the school too and the most they will do is a gentle general reminder via text. I don't even drive there but nearly been run down by other drivers on several occasions

BattleaxeGalactica · 06/01/2017 14:21

If there's lots of parking on the street why the rush to get there early to nab one of the nursery spots? Confused

Personally I'd always park that bit further away and avoid all the fuckwittery that tends to go with hotly contested parking.

juniorcakeoff · 06/01/2017 14:22

People who behave like that won't change their behaviour because of a notice from the nursery. Sometimes taking pic of licence plate and putting on nursery facebook group works, I know a school that does this. But nurseries are private so don't want to lose their money, would have to be a private parents facebook group I guess. Otherwise I would walk to be stress free, you can't change a twat unfortunately.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 06/01/2017 14:23

Nursery won't do anything. Where does safe guarding fit into that

Scrumptiousbears · 06/01/2017 14:23

I'm not sure a person like this will read a strongly worded newsletter and certainly not give a flying fuck what the nursery thinks.

juniorcakeoff · 06/01/2017 14:24

Yes battleaxe I find it absolutely tragic the way grown adults behave over parking at schools etc, fuckwittery is a good word for it.

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