to have a night nurse

[doublerainbow31]

so.... a celebrity has told the awful story of her son being dropped on his head by the night nurse. glad everyone is ok but slightly shocked people have day and night nurses. Now I know why celebreties with newborns look so good.

[Writerwannabe83]

Bloody hell Lila - what did you do whilst your MN was doing all that??

[LilaGrace]

Looked after my other daughter, mainly. I had a c section so couldn't do much physically for the first 3-4 weeks. She would hold the baby while I made meals etc or she'd sometimes cook if I looked after the baby.

[G1raffePicnic]

Sounds an amazing luxury!

[Blinkyblink]

Lila, you were breaking the law. You gave your nanny a three hour break over a 24 hour period. That is cruel and illegal.

[Writerwannabe83]

I think the MN was also allowed to sleep during the night in between the babies feeds - that's how I read it anyway.

[BIgBagofJelly]

Even if she was "allowed" to sleep she's still at work at that time so it does sound outrageous to employ someone for those hours!

[FunkinEll]

I can totally see the appeal. An old friend used to do this (and actually did it for a sleb, I wonder if she'S the one who dropped the baby on its head?!) and she told me that if the mother was breastfeeding then they just brought the baby in for a feed during the night and then took the baby away to change/ wind/ settle them.

I imagine this would be seriously beneficial in the early week when you're recovering from birth. Your body needs sleep but it actually a time when you get the least sleep.

I would totally do it if I had the money and wasn't done with having babies. I bloody hate the sleepless nights.

[LilaGrace]

Of course she was allowed to sleep at night as well! And it's not cruel and illegal, it was what was stipulated in the contract she provided! It is totally standard among all maternity nurses that they have a 3 hour break (or 4 hours if dealing with twins).

[Blinkyblink]

Actually it is illegal.

She was in charge of your baby overnight. So whether or not she was asleep or not, she was no having a break. She was working. Trust me, you were breaking the law.

[LilaGrace]

Her contract was drawn up by a lawyer. In that case, everyone who employs a maternity nurses is breaking the law.

[Whatthefoxgoingon]

I had a night nurse, a live-in nanny, a very involved husband and my mum to help with all my children. They made the early years much, much easier for me and I count myself very lucky to have great support, especially since I had EMCS. If you can afford it, a night nurse is a fantastic idea.

Children used to be raised in extended families, all chipping in to help, mothers, aunts, grandmothers. It's very isolating for mum to do it all by themselves and not the historical norm. If you can get any help these days, you'd be foolish not to use it!

[MrsGB2015]

BlinkyBlink - it's not illegal at all. It's standard practice. A quick google online will confirm that

[LilaGrace]

Thanks mrsGB. I just asked my maternity nurse. She said that as she is self employed, she sets the hours she works. I know it's what happens everywhere- checking with a maternity nurse agency would be a good idea as mine was done privately.

[Famalam13]

If I could afford a night nurse and a mother's help I would have a second DC, as it is we are sticking with the one. If you can afford it go for it :)

[Famalam13]

I should state that I had no family support and found maternity leave incredibly isolating even with getting out to groups every day.

[LilaGrace]

It can be v lonely famalam- I found that with my first DD. And you're so exhausted too- I felt like some kind of zombie! My husband works long hours so the maternity nurse was a godsend. She's now one of my closest friends and we meet up regularly.

[FrutiFlutey]

Is there a link to the news story?

[Famalam13]

So exhausting Lila! As PPs have said in many countries new mums have massive support networks with multi generational living etc. Is it any surprise that people without that want to pay for help? Your arrangement sounds great Lila :)

[Blondeshavemorefun]

I'm a qualified maternity night nanny /nurse and I work to give parents help support advice and some sleep as well as get baby into a routine to learn to sleep thro the night

Lack of sleep is awful and some parents reliese this and get some help in so that they can cope with the day /older children /maybe be a single parent / bad birth / pnd or no reason at all and just want some help

I would like to see a link to the op post. Poor baby and poor mn. Hope both are ok

Most 24hr mn will take 3/4hrs break in that time to refresh theirselves

[FunkinEll]

Here is the story, I think this is the Mum's blog. I'd never heard of her

happilyevaafter.com/the-struggle-is-real/

[doublerainbow31]

Sorry using the word 'mum' was not what i should have said. very interesting hearing peoples experiences and as a mum in the v early days, also a bit of envy. however, now i see why some people are able to look so amazing i'm not going to be so harsh on myself for not managing the same. Delivering and having a newborn is hard work no matter how much help you have.

[minifingerz]

"I imagine this would be seriously beneficial in the early week"

It's beneficial for newborns to separate them from their mothers?

Really?

[EthelEgbert]

I hired a day nanny and slept during the day. Just seemed like a better idea for the long term. Had a few friends who had night nannies and they were absolute life savers.

[nannyj]

I used to be a nanny to a woman with a full on career. I was the nanny to the oldest child who was 3 and she had a maternity nurse for the baby for the first year of his life. The nurse worked 24/6. At first I was a bit shocked but to be honest I don't know how she'd have done her job as she sometimes had to be calling the US at night and the pressure she was under was huge. The arrangement suited her family.

[G1raffePicnic]

I'm amazed the nurses work 24/6. Isn't that just what the mum is paying to avoid having to do! It must be a really tough job.