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AIBU?

to have a night nurse

181 replies

doublerainbow31 · 05/01/2017 02:23

so.... a celebrity has told the awful story of her son being dropped on his head by the night nurse. glad everyone is ok but slightly shocked people have day and night nurses. Now I know why celebreties with newborns look so good.

OP posts:

Report

minifingerz · 05/01/2017 06:37

There's a reason why they try not to separate well mums and babies in NHS maternity units these days, and it's because mothers and babies are seen as a 'dyad' - a little unit linked by hormones. Separating them for many hours at a time early on isn't generally good for breastfeeding.

Hiring someone to shop, cook, clean, look after other children, provide reassurance, support breastfeeding, help the mum's physical recovery, watch the baby for short periods so mum can nap/shower, is a great thing on the other hand. I'd hire a doula for that.

ninenicknames · 05/01/2017 06:43

You can have anything if you pay for it!

Manumission · 05/01/2017 06:46

That particular so-called "sleb" has terrible trouble with her staff doesn't she? And life generally really.

Blinkyblink · 05/01/2017 06:47

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Manumission · 05/01/2017 06:51

Oh give over blink. She's just taken aback. It is quite a rarified practice that must sound indescribably luxurious to someone who didn't have it and has never heard of such a thing.

MrsGB2015 · 05/01/2017 07:01

I think you are back tracking now OP. Your first post was quite offensive. Everyones circumstances are different in terms of family nearby, how much their partner is around and if they have a baby that generally sleeps well or one that cries day and night.

FlourishingMrs · 05/01/2017 07:03

maybe op thinks a night nurse us the same as a wet nurse?

Manumission · 05/01/2017 07:09

I think you are back tracking now OP. Your first post was quite offensive. Everyones circumstances are different in terms of family nearby, how much their partner is around and if they have a baby that generally sleeps well or one that cries day and night.

Oh do stop it MrsGB

You know that the 95% just have to get on with it without expensive staff even if they have busy partners and no local family? I know, it's shocking, but it's true

That's all she's saying. Just expressing surprise.

I think the wealthy posing as an oppressed and misunderstood demographic is a sticky wicket TBH with you

Bubbinsmakesthree · 05/01/2017 07:15

I guess for celebrities firstly they can probably afford it, and secondly many will not get the opportunity to take 'maternity leave' - they have to carry on doing whatever they do to earn their fame, can't afford to be papped looking horrific. So yeah I bet a lot do hire extra help with babies.

1horatio · 05/01/2017 07:20

We have a night nurse. She's great...

But dropping a baby on the head?!? :0

Northernpowerhouse · 05/01/2017 07:20

I absolutely wish i had known about these when mine were little. 3 kids, one with significant extra needs in early years, no family nearby and a DH with long hours demanding job. It was v v hard.
My daughter is hoping to start a family soon. I am so please that I live nearby and will be able to help her but if she could afford a night nanny and wanted one i would fully support her.

1horatio · 05/01/2017 07:22

I had to got work again. So... that was the best solution for all of us.
I'm an expat (so my family can't help) and DH's parent don't live nearby.

hazeyjane · 05/01/2017 07:31

JerryFerry
I had day and night nurses for 4 months. All paid for by local health board as baby cried a lot
Where was this??!!

Shakey15000 · 05/01/2017 08:00

Never heard of a local health board paying because a baby cried a lot, is this in the UK?

splendide · 05/01/2017 08:04

I agree with Mini that it sounds a bit unhealthy to split mother and newborn in this way. If I had loads of money I'd pay for someone to do everything else I think so I could nest with the baby.

I know someone who had a night nanny for 8 weeks - they had triplets and a 2 year old. They paid for it themselves though, I honestly don't know what you do if you can't afford help and don't have family and triplets.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 05/01/2017 08:08

There's a reason why they try not to separate well mums and babies in NHS maternity units these days, and it's because mothers and babies are seen as a 'dyad' - a little unit linked by hormones. Separating them for many hours at a time early on isn't generally good for breastfeeding

And of course there would need to be nurses who looked after the babies why the mothers slept

RunWalkCrawlbutMove · 05/01/2017 08:09

Women used to have far more family involvement post and still do in many other countries. I came out of hospital the next day (only in overnight as the baby has vomited large amounts of mucous) and went back to doing school runs the next day.
My SIL had her first in a different country and said her SILs took over, they brought the baby to her for feeding and then did everything else. One of us ended up with PND. Guess which one?
If I could redo it all, and could afford it, I would have a night nurse for as long as possible. Sleep deprivation affects people in different ways. Having two babies who had milk intolerance mean my first year with both of them was a fog of exhaustion and misery.
Why are you being so judgemental?

MLGs · 05/01/2017 08:40

I wanted to do it with dc2.

sparechange · 05/01/2017 08:46

I think in the Netherlands, the state provides a certain amount of sessions with a maternity nurse
It's probably more like a post-natal doula than a night nurse, but it's a clear acknowledgment that women need additional support in the early days, and an opportunity to sleep

acquiescence · 05/01/2017 08:46

jerryferry
You had a nurse paid for because the baby cried a lot? What?! Presuming not in U.K.? Was the baby unwell?

JerryFerry · 05/01/2017 08:59

acquiescence and hazeyjane I am in NZ (sorry, should have explained)

No, my baby was not ill, but he was very demanding, woke every hour, so I got help.

minifingerz · 05/01/2017 09:00

"And of course there would need to be nurses who looked after the babies why the mothers slept"

They used to employ nursery nurses to work on postnatal wards who would show parents how to bath their baby before going home. This was the case when my dd was born. She's 17 now and the nursery nurses are long gone....

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justanotherusername0 · 05/01/2017 09:03

I'd have one if baby didn't sleep.

LavenderRains · 05/01/2017 09:11

My friend is a night nurse. She works in London mainly. Her clients are very well off with huge houses and jobs in the city.
One parent, a mum, was a sahm but still hired friend as a night nurse as she was so busy all day with the baby........If only I'd won the lottery when mine were babies

LavenderRains · 05/01/2017 09:12

mimifingers the hospital where I work employ lots of nursery nurses. They are fab!

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