Wedding question - is it bad form to ask what colour the bridesmaids are wearing??

[JoyfulAndTriumphant]

Going to a wedding next month and looking at dresses online.

Quite skint and also pregnant, I have a beautiful (expensive) flattering maxi dress in my wardrobe that I've only worn once before and I would love to wear it again.

However, I always think a maxi dress is a bit of a gamble if you don't know what colour the bridesmaids are wearing. Don't want to look like a wannabe bridesmaid and all...

Is it bad form to text the bride and ask the question?? I don't know her all that well, but she's very easy going and lovely. Just genuinely don't know if it's bad etiquette.

The invitations often correspond. They don't always correspond.

Completely fine to ask. My invites were navy but my bridesmaids wore grey - woopsie

Our invitations were in our "theme" colours (cringe) of ivory and bottle green. I was in ivory, bridesmaid in bottle green. I agree it's normal for an accent colour in an invitation to correspond with the theme colour. I'd honestly be surprised to get a blue invitation and then see red bridesmaids.

I wasn't a bridezilla so if you'd rung and said "I'm thinking of wearing navy - will that look like your bridesmaid(s)?" I'd have said "bless you for checking, I'm sure it'll look lovely, and she's in green anyway".

If you'd said bottle green then I would have let you know, but tbh I think bridesmaids are pretty obvious anyway because of the hair/flowers and so on.

I wouldn't have minded you asking, but I would have thought you were odd to do so (and slight self absorbed). Sorry.

I agree with you justmuddling. Any I've received the invite has a design in the wedding colour scheme which usually features the colour of the bridesmaid dresses. Of the DIY invites sites there's loads of customisable themes and colours so it's easy to do. My BMs are in gold and rose gold- we haven't done the invites yet but they'll likely be gold and pink.

And if you think that's bridezilla-ish you should go on some of the US wedding forums. I saw one bride stressing about not having enough limited edition stamps to go on the invites that matched the ones she'd put on the save the dates which went out four months before. And instead of people telling her to buck up, other posters were coming up with all these crazy schemes to source the discontinued design so these invites (which were all going to different addresses) would match. The mind boggles.

I wouldn't have minded you asking at all.
Twenty plus years later I've still not quite forgiven my MIL for wearing the same colour as my bridesmaids, deliberately.

She does look a bit daft in the photos though

I wouldn't ask her directly in case she is a bridzilla I would tell her that you're wearing an X colour long dress and wanted to check that you won't match the bridesmaids.

mrsK why were your bridesmaid colours kept 'under wraps'?

Weddings have colour schemes with matching stationary?
I thought it was bad enough that most brides choose to wear the same dress. What would powers people to do things the same as other people?
How long have their been all these rules?
And how the fuck did they come about?

Phew, rant over.

SOME weddings!

Just wear the dress, unless it's white. Why would it even matter if it's the same colour as the bridesmaids dresses?

nope, no-one seemed to have got the memo, no matching, which is a relief as my bridesmaid dresses had nothing to do with the colour of our invits

Completely agree with above, and asking indirectly by describing your own dress.

I'd ask.

I dunno but my mum and dad got married in the 80's and they had a grey and pink thing going on, judging by the photos. Any time I was looking at flowers, bridesmaid dresses, linen suppliers and other decor shite the suppliers were instantly like, "what are your colours?". It makes it a lot easier to narrow down stuff if you're looking for a particular colour- there's almost too much choice with a lot of things now.

I've been boring showing people pictures of my bridesmaid dresses so I couldn't GAF if you asked me tbh.

Most wedding invites I've ever received have been plain cream with black writing- none of them had bridesmaids in black as far as I remember.
OP- I think it's fine to ask.

Our wedding colours were consistent through the save the dates and invotes, tgs for the wedding tree, everything except the cake, which was green. I wouldn't have minded anyone asking and would have thought it was thoughtful of them to ask

wow, and the cakes too! That's a whole lot of matching!
I am not even being sarcastic, I probably wouldn't even notice, but it can look really nice. I am just amazed by the attention to details.

Did you go on Pinterest? 😂 that's the colour scheme rabbit hole right there!

I had only one bridesmaid. She was 5 months pg at our wedding. So I said she could wear whatever she felt comfortable in (and I wd pay). I only saw her dress a week before the wedding. It was blue and she looked lovely.

Yes, quite normal for the invitations to reflect the colour of bridesmaid dresses, ours did nearly 20 years ago. I know some are cream or white but if the invitation is coloured or has a coloured design on it then it normally seems to tie in with the bridesmaids dresses, flowers etc.

I think asking is fine, but it does put you in a dilemma if it's the same colour.

Our invitations match our wedding colours but this isn't always the case. I don't mind if guests wear this colour though.

I agree to ask her if you're worried - but I also think you should wear what you like! If she hasn't made her invitations match her scheme then she knows guests have no way of knowing what colour BMs are wearing so doubt she is that concerned

I think that is a perfectly sensible question to ask.

We've only ever had invitations that were black/grey printed on white or ivory. I've never heard of coloured invitations!

Our invites didn't correspond with the dresses in the slightest. I'd text and say something like - I'm thinking of wearing X, will it clash/ are you bothered?

The colour of the invitation?

Er, no. This is not the norm. Any invitations we've had had been white or cream.

I do remember one that had a coloured ribbon on, but that was in the 90s.

TheCraicDealer I am discovering a whole new world

It's probably a good thing I am already married! I am now researching photos of weddings where bridezilla imposed a dress code on the guests. That must happen!