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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the nurses shouldn't have spoken in a different language in front of me?

485 replies

ColouringTheBrain · 04/01/2017 18:56

If I start by saying I think our NHS staff do a great job Smile I'm not looking to be flamed, I genuinely want to know if I'm BU.

I had to go to the hospital today, the nurse that initially dealt with me was kind and gentle, also in the room was a colleague of hers ( another nurse). The nurse took my bloods, then went to get another machine, it was then that the two nurses started talking to each other in a different language ( I'm not trying to be vague, I just haven't got a clue what language it was). It made me feel really uncomfortable as it was directly in front of me, whether they were talking about me, or what's on TV, or other members of staff I feel is irrelevant, I felt like they shouldn't be doing it in front of a patient. Obviously I didn't say anything, I wasn't feeling the best anyway, but I also felt slightly intimidated I suppose.

AIBU, or should I just accept it as part of the care?

OP posts:
raindripsonruses · 04/01/2017 21:23

Apparently I shouldn't say that because I speak more than one language. But I do.

gemma19846 · 04/01/2017 21:26

Would you rather they spoke English which isnt their first language and miscommunicate something to each other about your condition or speak in a language they both speak and understand very well? Unless they were talking TO you yabu

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 04/01/2017 21:26

YANBU, OP.

You were in a care setting as a patient. They should be trying to defuse any anxiety or stress you were experiencing.

It would be kind of worrying to have a health care professional working in an English speaking environment who doesn't have sufficient grasp of the language to receive instructions in it.

Namechangeemergency · 04/01/2017 21:26

It implies there is something frightening or unnerving about people speaking in another language

Or it means that it is frightening and unnerving being in hospital and vulnerable and people chatting over you in a way you cannot understand compounds these feelings.

If she was complaining about people on the bus you would have a very good point and I would be joining in with the YABUs. But she isn't on a bus

watchingthedetectives · 04/01/2017 21:27

YANBU It is unacceptable in NHS trusts to speak in another language in front of patients (or colleagues)

This can be a disciplinary issue as it leaves patients (and colleagues) feeling isolated and uncomfortable

Agree with PP who point out that most HCPs agree this is unacceptable.

In social situations any language is acceptable but unprofessional at work

WhiteStars · 04/01/2017 21:27

YANBU that's very very rude.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 04/01/2017 21:28

Would you rather they spoke English which isnt their first language and miscommunicate something to each other about your condition or speak in a language they both speak and understand very well?

They shouldn't be working in a health care setting if their command of English isn't up to the mark!

Namechangeemergency · 04/01/2017 21:28

gemma I expect she is not keen on either scenario tbh.

watchingthedetectives · 04/01/2017 21:29

gemma19846 There is a fairly tough pre employment English test to ensure this doesn't happen so not an excuse

squiggleirl · 04/01/2017 21:32

If you all hate someone speaking a different language to you, maybe you should try and learn a foreign language and stop being so ignorant in your belief that everyone must speak english, especially if they're not even talking to you.

Nach iontach í an amadán/óinseach sin atá ag labhairt as a t(h)óin féín. Ach is cuma leis/léi cad atá á rá agamsa. Nílim ag labhairt leis/léi. Táim ag labhairt faoi/fúithi....Lean ar aghaidh....

MeetTheMartian · 04/01/2017 21:34

gemma do you genuinely expect them to talk about patients ONLY to those who speak the same language than them, e.g. Not being to understand consultants or other nurses wo a risk of misunderstanding?? Shock

Namechangeemergency · 04/01/2017 21:37

Squiggle Grin

Unfortunately the other language I can use cant be written down.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 04/01/2017 21:37

Is it the case on this thread that more monolinguals think OP was BU whereas more bi/tri/multilinguals think OP was NBU?

Grin
VeryBitchyRestingFace · 04/01/2017 21:39

Unfortunately the other language I can use cant be written down.

I was thinking of filming my response and uploading it but didn't want to risk my face being filmed.

Lovetonurse10 · 04/01/2017 21:40

I work in the NHS and imo you don't conduct personal conversations whilst a patient is present, it's rude. Different if you're including the patient such as talking about tv / holidays to try to put them at ease whilst taking blood. You certainly don't speak a different language in exceptional circumstances odd singular words if you're trying to explain a piece of kit but always so the patient knows what's being said. YANBU.

Cherrysoup · 04/01/2017 21:41

Think so, verybitchy!

crashdoll · 04/01/2017 21:42

YANBU. That said, for me, it's the fact that you were in a hospital setting that makes it inappropriate. I would feel uncomfortable if I was in a room alone with more than one HCP who was talking and excluding me. I have complex health problems and spend a lot of time getting treatments etc.. Just before Christmas, I had 3 hour tests which was were unpleasant. I was alone in a room with 2 nurses who explained what would happen which reduced my anxiety e.g. "We are just checking the screen to make sure we've got the recordings" instead of them babbling away and excluding me while I was strapped to something feeling powerless. It's about the power dynamics.

Namechangeemergency · 04/01/2017 21:43

I may be wrong but it seems as if the HCP and others who work in hospital/clinical settings are all saying that the OP is not being unreasonable.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 04/01/2017 21:49

I may be wrong but it seems as if the HCP and others who work in hospital/clinical settings are all saying that the OP is not being unreasonable.

That too. Smile

Multilingual and/or HCPs say OP NBU. (largely)

Monolingual and/or non HCP think OP is BU. (largely)

Interesting split.

I say OP is definitely not being unreasonable. I'm not a HCP. I know 3 languages.

Cherrysoup · 04/01/2017 21:50

Are people being overly PC, maybe?

spankhurst · 04/01/2017 21:53

I think it is rude behaviour and inappropriate in a medical setting.

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 04/01/2017 21:57

YANBU. They were rude!

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 04/01/2017 21:58

Are people being overly PC, maybe?

I thought it was maybe a case of reverse colonialism at work, with the average monolingual Brit, horribly over impressed by the genius smarts of people able to communicate in more than one language.

And possibly ascribing a level of difficulty/impossibility to bilingualism that actually isn't warranted.

(no offence intended to anyone though doubtless hunners will be taken) Grin

grannytomine · 04/01/2017 22:02

It wouldn't worry me but I was taught by nuns, they were English but it was a French order and they would always talk to each other in French if they didn't want us to understand so I suppose I just see it as normal. They would talk to the Parish Priest in Latin. Its amazing that I never managed to learn a foreign language, they couldn't figure me out at all.

gunnsgirl · 04/01/2017 22:04

Just plain and simple bad manners. That is all.