Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sick of being mistaken for a teenager?

52 replies

AVirginLitTheCandle · 04/01/2017 16:10

I know...I know...first world bloody problems and I realise I'll be grateful one day...

I'm turning 26 next month but I don't look it. I look younger and people regularly think I'm about 18/19 however I've had people assume I'm even younger than that! Just this morning someone asked me if I was back at school yet Shock. Turns out she thought I was 16, wtf!

I feel like people don't take me seriously because they think I'm younger and they often talk to me as if I'm younger than I am iyswim. In other words I get talked down to a lot and like I'm stupid. I have to keep reminding people that I'm a grown woman in my mid 20's and not a clueless teenager.

Anyway I'm off to get a bottle of wine now. Assuming I can remember where I left my ID...

Smile
OP posts:
iloveeverykindofcat · 04/01/2017 17:03

I am 29, and finding that this year is the tipping point between hating it and not minding at all Grin

MollyHuaCha · 04/01/2017 17:04

Lucky you! But I can empathise too. Shortly after having DC1, I was at home wearing comfy leggings and a t-shirt, baby was snoozing and there was a knock at the door. It was cold caller trying to drum up local church attendance.
"Hello dear," she beamed, "Is your mother in?" to which I replied, "Er... actually, no she's not"
I was 34.

It also happened to me when I was on a teacher training day at a secondary school where I was unknown by the staff. I was in my late 20s and ticked off FOUR times whilst walking in the corridor - my crime: not being in correct uniform 😁😁

iloveeverykindofcat · 04/01/2017 17:06

I'm a lecturer and do find it quite fun when I walk up to the podium in front of a new group of freshers - they all do a double-take because they've been chatting about their nights out in front of me in the hall Grin.

dollydaydream114 · 04/01/2017 17:08

I'm past the point now where anyone would mistake me for a teenager, as I'm 41, but this did happen to me quite a bit when I was in my 20s. I used to get asked for ID in pubs etc, and one occasion when I was about 25 it happened at work drinks event with colleagues and clients, which was quite embarrassing.

I am on the short side (5'2") which I think was probably the main reason it happened. I certainly had friends who seemed equally fresh-faced in their 20s but didn't get IDed, so I think height is a factor!

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 04/01/2017 17:08

Am I the only one who emails colleagues (that you don't know in person) and it's all great and constructive then you meet them in person and they can't believe you're the same person

Yeah, happens to me. Or with phone calls too, as I have a reasonably mature sounding voice.

Then they arrive to meet me and are scanning the room, looking at everyone bar me.

Flingmoo · 04/01/2017 17:09

I am 26 and have this problem too. It's not a stealth boast, it's genuinely annoying. It's crazy but I actually look forward to getting a few more wrinkles and a few grey hairs. I know I'll regret wishing my youth away but it really does annoy me that I'm taken less seriously at work than older/taller looking colleagues. I also got asked for ID the other day to see a 15 rated movie! Shock

Flingmoo · 04/01/2017 17:11

And yes, I'm 5'2" as well and height definitely makes a difference. I know this sounds nuts but I swear the tall women from my graduate programme at work all got promoted much sooner than us petite 'girls' can hope for Sad Helps that they can carry off the smart, blazer look without looking like schoolgirls!

MrsJayy · 04/01/2017 17:19

I picked dd1 who was 10 at the time from an after school club and was stopped at the door teacher shouted you girls need to wait on an adult I was 32 , it was so irritating yes i know its a first world problem but when you are an adult its really annoying.

MrsJayy · 04/01/2017 17:21

Im 45 not so much of a problem these days however i might be heading for little old territory as im 4ft 11.

MrsJayy · 04/01/2017 17:22

Little old lady*

ShotsFired · 04/01/2017 17:37

I've been happily buying booze since I was 16, yet now I'm the wrong side of 40, people say I look younger than I am!

I should be grateful I suppose! GrinWine

charlie2405 · 04/01/2017 17:39

Yeah sounds like a stealth boast! I have the opposite. People assume Im older as I have always been mature for my age and how I come across especially on the phone. Looks are one thing but surely people can tell your older when they start talking to you? Do you let yourself be patronised and spoken down to? Not that it's acceptable but regardless of how you look people will treat you how you let them treat you.

happynewyearchum · 04/01/2017 17:44

How would someone know how old you are when you started talking?

happynewyearchum · 04/01/2017 17:46

Charlie

But the guy in Tesco, the random colleague you're meeting for the first time, the cinema ticket seller... All they see is you and they are basing it on that. It's nothing to do with "letting people talk down to you".

lanbro · 04/01/2017 18:00

I have always looked younger and was still getting id'd in my early 30s. Unfortunately, 2 kids later and I've never been id'd again but I still don't look like 37, I think it's great now!

littleme2016 · 04/01/2017 18:24

It doesn't bother me too much but yes it happens to me.

One that sticks out is when I volunteered as a leader with a youth group. We were on a day trip with a few other groups whose leaders didn't know me. I was suffering quite badly with hay fever and one of the leaders from another group asked me 'who is your leader so we can get your medication? " I stated: 'I AM the leader....'
I was also counted when getting on the bus as a child rather than an adult.

I have no children myself but frequently get dirty looks when out with nephews and nieces who all could easily be my children given my age and their ages!

I'm 29....

Original poster
AVirginLitTheCandle · 04/01/2017 18:27

No stealth boast here, promise Wink

Looking like a child is not something to be bragging about Shock

OP posts:
beluga425 · 04/01/2017 18:33

I used to get this all the time in my 20s. It was really nnoying, especially as people woukd say how lucky I was. The last time i got ID'd I was about 38. I still get told I look a lot younger and really appreciate it. I feel like I get to enjoy aging and like my face changing. If i looked a lot older I might not enjoy it as much, so just be patient as it will be something you really value in 20 odd years' time.
Just wish my body felt as young as my face looks!!

beluga425 · 04/01/2017 18:38

I have no children myself but frequently get dirty looks when out with nephews and nieces who all could easily be my children given my age and their ages!

I always think it is so out of order for people to give very young parents (or people who look like they are) dirty looks. So thoughtless and lacking in empathy.

user1477416713 · 04/01/2017 18:39

I am 43 and I love it now whenever I get told I don't look old enough to have a17 year old child! There is a huge upside to this problem OP which you will appreciate when you are my age :)

2017willbeawesome · 04/01/2017 18:41

I don't have the same problem anymore, but oh my in my 20s I was constantly being stopped by the police asking why I wasn't in school!! That was actually quite irritating, especially when a concerned person called them about a "runaway carrying a large hold-all"... I was going to the laundrette! The best was when I was in hospital after having my first DC. A HV/SW? sat down on the bed to tell me all about the support networks for younger mothers, I was almost 30. I did try very nicely to point her down the ward to where she was meant to be, she didn't believe me until she read my chart....Did an um.... Nice to meet you. That was one was quite funny. But yes I can feel and remember the annoyance. & no don't miss one bit being that young looking!

MatildaWormwoodRoolsOK · 04/01/2017 18:49

Love the stealth boasting on here! It used to happened to me. Used to. USED TO. I think it was having kids that made me look my age. But that said, I once took a friend in her early 30s to hospital during a nasty bleed. Every single midwife said either "so this'll be your first, then?" (her 7th, sadly due to many miscarriages - she only had 4 children at home) or "do you want us to ring your mum?" (she had been married almost ten years).

Flingmoo · 04/01/2017 18:56

It's not a stealth boast. To be honest I find some of these comments quite condescending. It has a real impact on my life.

My husband is 2 months younger than me but has stubble etc and looks up to 10 years older. We work in the same workplace and he has never had comments about his youth or inexperience. Meanwhile I regularly get stupid comments. A top boss in our workplace said to me in front of a whole room of colleagues "I've been working here for 15 years now - so that's well before you were born!" I know he was joking but comments like this piss me off.

J3NN1 · 04/01/2017 19:00

I get it all the time and hate it! I refuse to buy a bottle of wine or anything and make my dh go as I get too embarrassed being asked for ID.
Just a couple of weeks ago a delivery guy asked if my mum was home - wish I'd thought of a witty answer but just said no, then he asked me if I was old enough to sign for the parcel - I'm 31 ffs!
I also have a teenage daughter who looks older than she is, most people think we are sisters Blush

2017willbeawesome · 04/01/2017 19:11

Mamu that's not funny & agree it's not stealth posting. Its bloody annoying, as I put I wouldn't go back to being that young looking as its not fun. It's a bit you have to grit your teeth and smile as other women doesn't get it either.....you'll be thankful when you're older, but it does impact when you are very young looking for your age. People pick on it, & yes it can be really embarrassing. I seriously couldn't go shopping on a weekday or on my lunch break as I got stopped for "suspect truancy" in my 20s as I looked 14! I'm under 5ft & very round faced. I had to change what I wore in the end, started shopping in places my mum shopped. Smart Dress suits with the 3 quarter length jackets became my thing! And serious heels (how I ever wore them I don't know). Now I've got wrinkles I can wear jeans again. Daft or what.