To go cold turkey and instantly stop giving my 20mo DS his dummy?

[Bubspub]

Please could I ask for your thoughts and advice? We know we have overused the dummy with our boy. Not something I ever thought I'd do but then I didn't know what 'high needs' was until I met him, I certainly do now! After being very screamy for six months (reflux related) he improved slightly but remained very whingey and fussy. The dummy has brought him lots of comfort. We only use it for sleeping and if he is very upset but he really loves it and twists it in his mouth while sucking in enjoyment.

However, DH and I watched an episode of Supernanny last night where a 4 year old boy's teeth had grown in an arch around the dummy and he also had a resultant lisp. We were horrified at his poor teeth having grown like this and now I feel that I don't even want him to have it for sleep in case it changes the development of his face, voice and teeth. I'm considering never giving it to him again but I can't decide if that makes me a really mean mummy or if that's the right thing to do for him? If anyone has any words of wisdom I'd be grateful! Thank you x

I haven't RTFT, but we did this when DS was about 20/21 months old. He threw his dummy under the sofa one morning and when we didn't give it back he has the most almighty tantrum that we had ever seen. So we decided enough was enough, and he never got it back. We went cold turkey from that moment on, told him it was lost, and that was that. He understood it was gone and got on with it. Bedtime wasn't even that painful and he has been so much better since. His speech has come on leaps and bounds too. Don't get me wrong. There is the odd time still when I wish we could still shove a dummy in his mouth but I don't regret it at all. It needed to be done and we just stopped making excuses for putting it off. It will be fine. Do it.

PuppyCotton, I sucked my thumb until I was 24 and moved in with my partner too! Fist bump of solidarity

Bloody hard but I was so conscious of how weird it was to suck my thumb at 21 I couldn't do it in front of him, I was too embarrassed so I just stopped. I still grip bed covers though to get to sleep but I don't feel like I need to stop that.

*until I was 21 that was supposed to say

Fwiw I tried to take the dummy off mine about that age.

They started sucking their thumbs instead.

I let them keep the dummy until they were ready (about 3, one swapped for a teddy, the other wouldn't so we gave her all her dummies, and told her to look after them as they were the last ones. Obviously she lost them all, and no more dummy.)

Their teeth are fine.

Dummy everytime - you cant take their thumb off them!
Dont panic though, a dummy for sleeping as a toddler isnt a big problem.
My son bit holes in his. i warned him it was the last one and i wasnt going to get him any more, then he threw it out on bin day. We waved it off, and cheered being a big boy!!! He never asked for it again.
With my daughter, when we went on hol i told her i had forgotten it, then when we got home i said we had left it in the caravan! Lol, she never questioned it or asked for it again!
Choose your time carefully, possibly when there are lots of distractions like a holiday, but not when you could all get stressed out by lack of sleep!
I cant watch these nanny programs, you know your kids and life style best, not some so called expert. Think about it, discuss it and make your own decisions. Sometimes they work out, other times not, but we all make mistakes - and survive!
Your kids will still love you reguardless! 💖 xx

We went cold turkey with our DS. All done and dusted within two nights. And he loved his dummy

We went cold turkey... stole a trick from you SIL, tell them a new baby has been born, the baby needs a dummy, can the baby have theirs? Kids are kind and will say yes and hand it over. Also means when they ask for it, we get to remind them the gave it to the new baby. We had no problems!

Thanks everyone for sharing your stories and for encouragement. Just an update, after the first disrupted night, last night was great, slept through. Napping no problem without it. I think he's forgotten it ever existed now! Am keeping fingers crossed we have another decent night tonight. Don't get me wrong, I'm so grateful to dummies through the colic, reflux and teething. But I feel this was the right time for him and even DH said after seeing him these last couple of days that he obviously doesn't need it anymore. His speech is really coming along too x

Well done. We also found that speech took a huge leap forward both in clarity and in frequency once the dummy disappeared. Delighted to hear he is settling to sleep without it.

Thank you Sycamore x