To go cold turkey and instantly stop giving my 20mo DS his dummy?

[Bubspub]

Please could I ask for your thoughts and advice? We know we have overused the dummy with our boy. Not something I ever thought I'd do but then I didn't know what 'high needs' was until I met him, I certainly do now! After being very screamy for six months (reflux related) he improved slightly but remained very whingey and fussy. The dummy has brought him lots of comfort. We only use it for sleeping and if he is very upset but he really loves it and twists it in his mouth while sucking in enjoyment.

However, DH and I watched an episode of Supernanny last night where a 4 year old boy's teeth had grown in an arch around the dummy and he also had a resultant lisp. We were horrified at his poor teeth having grown like this and now I feel that I don't even want him to have it for sleep in case it changes the development of his face, voice and teeth. I'm considering never giving it to him again but I can't decide if that makes me a really mean mummy or if that's the right thing to do for him? If anyone has any words of wisdom I'd be grateful! Thank you x

Feedback;
So as he didn't have the dummy all day yesterday and we went through the night without it, it's now been about 24 hours without it. It was the night I was dreading. We've been up more than usual to try to settle and he was up earlier than usual, but no worse than when he's had a cold or whatever. So probably not as bad as I had anticipated. I slept terribly though as I think I had been worrying about it so much!
It may sound silly but even in that short space of time I feel like he's talking and interacting more with us, and us with him if that makes sense. We're hoping if we stick with it he'll eventually return to normal sleeping for him!
Thank you for all your advice x

I went cold turkey with ds1 at a similar age... He loved his dummy, and he is very strong willed. I braced myself for a tough week...

He didn't give two shits and slept just fine without it, it couldn't have been easier

Thanks yetanother, yes it's not as bad as I'd thought. He was looking for it in the bed last night but seemed to accept it when I told him he was a big boy now and didn't need it x

Good stuff OP, sounds like it is working. Have you thrown out all the dummies now? You really should - it will stiffen your resolve.

I'm lucky- my dummy obsessed child accidentally gave his up at 20 months when he bit through the only remaining one let one evening. I panicked, went out to shop to buy more, returned to find him fast asleep and he hasn't had one since. We had been planning on doing cold turkey two months later, after a long haul flight, but he managed it surprisingly well on his own and he had adored his dummy.

Well done! We did the dummy exchange with Father Christmas with DS. He is three so understood well, but is back to waking very very early as he had never had to settle himself back to sleep without the dummy. He was always a rubbish sleeper with or without the dummy which is why we didn't do it before. Things like this always are much worse in our minds though! Keep it up OP!

Well done OP, you are free of the wretched thing.

My dd used to throw her dummy away in a rage and then howl for it back (at night) and dh and I would crawl around looking for it. Ridiculous!

Yes sycamore, I took the rubbish out this morning with all his little suckie friends in! DH asked should we keep an emergency one? I said no way, this is it now, no going back! Even if he gets sick we must find other ways to comfort him, which we do anyway but I think we've become so dependent on them and they've been such a feature of our everyday lives that we're a bit so need to deal with our own dummy dependency as well! X

Yes Rory, sometimes the dummy was also a trigger to his rage, as he expected it and when he couldn't have it he'd melt down. Also in the mornings when it was 'handover' time he'd get angry. Hopefully we've lessened that expectation now x

We took both of ours to Build a Bear and the lovely staff pretended to take their dummies as payment for the bears. DD1 did ask the first night to take the bear back but no major dramas. DD2 had no hassle at all. Very slightly older than your DS though

Ah nice buildabear staff, that's very sweet. Great ideas here. I he'd been a bit older I'd have definitely borrowed on of the ideas. He seemed to understand 'you're big boy now' and 'don't need' so I think keeping it simple is good for the littler ones x

My DD is also 20 months old and still quite attached to her dummy. I won't go down the cold-turkey route purely because I know how upset my DD will be. I've started keeping a dummy in my pocket, or somewhere out of sight while she's happy and playing, and she seems to forget about it and doesn't ask for it. When she starting to get tired, she asks for it and I give it to her for her nap/bedtime, but then when she wakes up, she happily hands it over when I ask for it
I think it helps that she now has an 11 week old brother, and I keep re-enforcing that dummies are for the baby and DD is a big girl now.

We went cold turkey with ds1 - he must have been just over 2. He developed a bad habit of chewing the teat and then wouldn't use them so we just got down to one remaining dummy and then told him that there were no more. One day of hassle and never mentioned again! It was much much easier than we anticipated.

My eldest daughter was a big fan of the dummy, in fact she had four on the go at the same time. My other two never liked them and both have had problems with their teeth. On her 4th birthday, she declared she was sending her 'mum mums' to mum mum heaven, as she was a big girl now. She picked them all out and put them in the bin. She never missed them either. At 23, she has perfect white teeth and has never needed a filling.

Dsd only had a dummy at night after 2 until 5, as she used to get nightmares without. She's 9 now and has perfect teeth - no fillings, or protuding front teeth.

I think it depends on how strong you can be. I got quite stressed with my daughter having one when she got to 3 and took it off her and it was awful so I caved and gave it back. We left it until she was ready which coincided with xmas and she got a message from Santa asking her to try to give up the dummy. She said she wanted to try and she did it no bother. So my main advice would be don't stress and try to wait until they are ready. My dentist also said that dummies aren't as bad as thumb sucking and if she started to suck her thumb to give back the dummy. Good luck

Oh well done op and ds!! I am impressed.

I think the pattern seems to be that getting rid a touch earlier means you can maybe go cold turkey whereas them being an it older needs some prep. Makes sense.

Congrats to you and your son! You both did amazing! Just wanted to warn you though, if you take him to toddler groups/childminder he might and steal dummies from other children. Both of mine went through a phase of doing that even though they had never even had a dummy! Good luck for the rest of the day x

Haha! My dd, the avid dummy sucker has had many a dummy whipped out of her mouth. Once at a toddler group I was absent minded my looking at a small girl thinking "oh, Rebecca has the same dummy as my dd". I can't remember how it got mentioned but the mum was mortified as it was my dd's dummy her daughter was sucking and to make matters worse she had apparently furiously refused all attempts to take a dummy when she was little

I gave DD's dummies to the "Easter Bunny" to give to the babies who don't have any. She whinged a bit and kept asking for them for a few days but she eventually forgot all about them, and her teeth went back to normal too (she was about 2 when we got rid of the dummies).

She sometimes mentions them wistfully now (she's 5) and remembers them fondly bless her

I had my dummy only at night time till I was 18! Yes that's weird I know but it was a hard habit to kick and I had no reason to until I moved out at 18 with my boyfriend and had to go cold turkey! Now that's what you call bloody hard

I would like to add, I have perfect teeth!

DD2 will be 3 in April and she has just given her dummy to Santa. She only ever had it for naps so 2hr a day max but she had started to ask for it at other times. We went cold turkey and I thought we would struggle but she has been fine. She asks when i put her down for a nap but i just santa has taken them for the babies that need them and then she goes to sleep. We had to go cold turkey cos she only had it once a day.

The dummy fairy came and took all our 20 month old daughter's dummies but left a lot of toys (little cheap ones) that distracted our DD. I was expecting it to be horrific but it wasn't

Puppy I have to add I was a thumb sucker until the age of 18. I have an overbite. I stopped because I was involved in a bad car accident then and it wasn't physically possible to suck my thumb as I was in traction.

We have recently had a visit from the Dummy Fairy this Christmas (after advice from our dentist about her teeth). We are on week two and must say I think I got more stressed out about it than my DD (42 months) has been and it has been going really well.
Initially we weaned her off in the day to start with and she only had it at bedtimes to soothe her.
Taking it away at bedtime was the thing I was dreading the most, but after distracting her with a present that was left by the Dummy Fairy and a letter explaining what a big brave girl she was, she was soon distracted by all the excitement of Christmas and having a new toy.
Admittedly she did moan for the first couple of evenings but ever since then she has been fine. You just need to be headstrong and not give in to their sometimes never ending whinging - which I know is hard! Good Luck!